dear I will agree to some points but must clarify as well. I am one of many people who has family members from both schools of jurisprudence. while devotion for Hazrat Ali is mainly because they chose to follow Ali over Amir Aa'wiya but respect for Sahaba RA was always there and I am the one who has attended shia majalis and put this question about insulting of Khulfa rashideen, they actually distance themselves from insults and blame on a fringe sect called NOseri and actually point at a tradition set by Amir Ma'wiya where insulting Hazrart Ali became part of part of Jumah sermon and was eventually stopped by none other than Hartaz Umer Bin Abdul Aziz ra who revived the heart and soul of Khlufa rashideen ra and is respected and adored by sunnis and shias togther,
I came across a shia scholar Jaan ali Kazmi who explains the conspiracy where a certain group pretending to be shia spreads such poison. that shia guy he explains about kharjis and nosehris
home listen to 1:30 and onwards
he is not being politically correct and says from heart that Shia and sunni are one and brothers and tells shias to dismiss propaganda against Hazrat Umer ibn Khattab r.a (thats another video that i cant locate now but when I do I will link it)
listen to this video very interesting where ICA is trying to instigate a war between shia & sunni
Well I am not a Shia but I married a shia girl after asking her to change a few things.
1) Remove last part of kalma as that was not something told by our prophet or even the people Shias love so much Namely Hazrat ali r.a ,Hazrat imam hussain r.a and all of those who were with him in karbala.
2) Dont pray on that soil of karbala(turbah) as thats not something our prophet did plus I feel if its about the sacredness of the place then no soil is more sacred than makkahs.
3)Accept other khalifas for who they were and especially hazrat ayesha .
These were the main things besides many minor things and she is a university of london graduate with enough wisdom and after discussing things she accepted all the things because she said they made sense to her.
Now at topic well my personal belief is all these divisions were made to just divide us and rule us something which has achieved all its purposes.In reality now we have three things extremists on both sides(shia's who hates wahabi's and wahabi's who hates shias) and sunni's in between .. Though I personally dont remember any bloody war between these two if you know of any do let me know as otherwise I dont understand the reason of so much hatred.
I feel instead of looking at whats difference b/w us we should look at the similarities the biggest one of which are we believe in same Allah,prophet and Quran and then once that much is established and the mistrust that otherone thinks you as a kafir is done with we can proceed ahead and discuss things with logic and reason.
One last thing I dont think anybody who lives in KSA become a wahabi and even in wahabi's not all are extremist the same way as in shia's not all extremists.