SMS Thread!!

[monitor]

mene vi pata nahi

 

[Dr Courage]

Pizza Disaster, a new range offered by Pizza Hut. Half cooked pizza bread with extremely annoying amount of cheese. A taste u will never Forget. Also provides exceptional low quality on delivery. An experience which will blow ur mind

 

[Xeric]

Ek sardar apne dost ki barat k sth gya,pr zakhmi ho k aya.
Ksi ne waja puchi to bola:
Barat me Dulhe k bap ne awaz lagai,"me munday da abba,kithe kuri da abba?"
Kuri ka baap utha or un dono ne aps me pagrian change kr li.
Phir 1 or admi ne awaz lagai,"me munde da chacha,kithay kuri da chacha?"
Uno ne kameez change kr li
Os k bad mujse raha na gya,mene kaha,men mundy da YAR, kithay kuri da YAR?
Bus fair danday,sotay te jutian change hoiyan:-

---------- Post added at 02:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:02 PM ----------

Wife saw a sign board:
Nylon Saarrhi
Rs 35
Cotton Saarrhi
Rs 30
Banarsi Saarrhi
Rs 10
Wife: giv me 500 i'll buy 50 sarrhies
Husband: Anniay!
DHOBI di dukaan e

---------- Post added at 02:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:03 PM ----------

Doctor To injurd paitent;
Jb car ek Lady chala rhi thi tu tumhy Road se door chlna chahye tha.!
Patient;
O Kera Road.?Main ty kamaad vich lota ly k Betha c.

---------- Post added at 02:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:03 PM ----------

An Angry Wife to her Husband on Phone : Where the hell are you???
Husband: Darling you remember that Jewelery shop where you saw the Diamond necklace and u fell in love with that and I didn't had money that time and I said "huny it'll be yours One day"
Wife, with a smile and blushing : Yeah I remember that my love ! :*
Husband: I am in the book shop just next to that shop....

 

[Xeric]

Be khwab zindgi ka Paristar kon tha ?
Itni udaas raat main Bedaar kon tha ?
Kis ko ye fikr thi K mohabbat mein kiya howa?
Hum es py larr rahy thy
... wafadaar kon tha ?
100 kashtiyan jala k Chaly sahilon sy hum !
Ab tm ko kya batayein K us paar kon tha ?
Ye faisla tu Waqt b Shayed na kr sakay !
Such kon bolta tha,Adakaar kon tha ?
Arsa guzar gaya hy Yehi sochty huwy "
Pepsi 65 ki krne wala insan k0n tha?
shukria itny ghor sy parhne ka. :-D

 

[Xeric]

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is new...
:-O ;-)

---------- Post added at 02:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:16 PM ----------

Police wala apne bache se:
Tumhara result aChha nahi aya aj se tumhara Khelna,
T.V dekhna
sab band
Bacha: Ye 50 rupey pakRo or is bat ko yahien daba do.

---------- Post added at 02:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:18 PM ----------

Her admi ki life mein 3 dolls atti hain...
1. Uski beti
"BABY DOLL"
2.Uski girlfriend
"BARBIE DOLL"
3.Uski biwi
"PANADOLL" wo b extra:-D

 

[Xeric]

Dedicated 2 Mashriqi Wife:
Hus:
Aaj khane me kya banao gi?
Wife:
Jo ap kaho.
H:
Daal chawal bana lo
W:
Kal hi to khaye hain
H:
To sabzi roti bana lo
W:
Bache nahi khayen gay
H:
To choley puri bana lo
W:
Mujhe heavy lagta hai
H:
Andey aaloo bana lo
W:
Phir subha nashtey me kia khao gay?
H:
Parathey
W:
Raat ko parathey kon khata ha?
H:
Hotel se mangwa leta hun
W:
Roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye
H:
Kari chawal
W:
Dahi nahi hai
H:
Mattar qeema?
W:
Us me time lage ga
Pehle bolte aap
H:
Maggi bana lo, Us me time nahi lage ga
W:
Us se pait nahi bhare ga
H:
Phir ab kya banao gi?
W:
"AAP BATAEN NA"

 

[Xeric]

John & Sara were room mates.
1 Day John's Mother Visited them.
John assured Mom that they
Were just Friends Nothing else.
A Couple of Days Later,
Sara asked John:
"Has His Mom taken the
Jam jar because it was Missing.
John sent an email 2 his Mom:
"I'm Not saying that U Took the Jar But its Missing Since
U left"
Mom Replied:
"I'm Not saying that Sara
Sleeps with U !
But if She Slept in Her 0wn Bed She Would Find the Jar Under Her Pillow"
MORAL:
Bazurg bazurg hi hotey hain.

 

[Xeric]

A fat guy saw an add in newspaper:
'LOSE 5 KILOS IN A WEEK!'
He calls the company to join Weight Reduction Program.
The company agent tells him to be ready 6am every day.
The next morning he opens the door & finds a hot babe wearing tracksuit n sneakerz saying:
'If u catch me, i'm all urz!'
After that, the girl starts running. The guy starts running after her but doesnt catch her. During the whole week he tries to catch her but cant, however he loses 5 kg.
He then asks for the 10kg program. Next morning at 6 he opens the door and sees an even hotter babe in bikini saying:
'If u catch me, i'm all urz'.
He loses 10 kg that week. So he thinks this program is awesome, whynot go for 25kg. He asks the company for 25kg program. The next day at 6, he opens the door expecting to see a fabulous babe but finds a PATHAN saying:
'Khocha if i catch u...u are all mine!'
(That week the guy lost 30 kg) :-D

---------- Post added at 12:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:24 PM ----------

Girl: Aaj main tumhn wo jaga dikhati hun jahan mera Apendex ka opration hua tha
Boy: khush ho kr dikhao
Girl: wo dekho Aghaa Khan Hospital

---------- Post added at 12:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:24 PM ----------

A crusty old man walks into a bank & says, "I wanna open a fukcing saving acct."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg ur pardon, but that kind of language is not tolerated here."
She goes to bank manager to complain. The manager agrees such foul language cant be accepted.
They both return to the window & the manager asks the old geezer,
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no fukcing problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery & I want to put my fukcing money in this god damn bank."
"I see," says manager, "And is this bi@tch giving u a hard time sir... ?"

---------- Post added at 12:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:26 PM ----------

Sperms are like government employees.:
.
.
.
.
Only 1 works in a million......

---------- Post added at 12:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:27 PM ----------

Indian Super Hit Movie
"Mery Brother Ki Dulhan"
K Baad Ab Peshawar K Famous Film Director
Gul Khan
Pesh Karty Hen
"Meri Dulhan Ka Brother"

 

[JonAsad]

^^ omg Lol at first and last joke

 

[greatf]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

 

[Xeric]

Fairy saw a lion chasing a rabbit in forest. She asked both to stop. "I wil grant u both 3 wishes"
Lion: I wish all lions in forest except me, be female
Rabbit wished for a helmet
Lion thot-stupid rabbit, wasting his wish
Lion:
I wish all lions in next forest be female
Rabbit asked for a bike
Lion was shocked again
Lion:
Make every lion in the world, female except me"
Rabbit grinned, started his bike n said:
"Make this Lion Gay"
and road off

 

[greatf]

Interviewer: “Where are you from?”
Harvard graduate: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
Interviewer: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?”

 

[Xeric]

Father was watching Fashi0n TV,
suddenly his small Son comes . , . . &
Father diplomatically says:
' Ghareeb larkiyan, kapre lene k lye b paise nhi'
Small Son: ' Is se b ghareb dekhni hai to CD hai mere pass. B-)

Sardar:Yara aj menu ajeeb msg aaya te mera mobile off hogaya.
Pathan: Konsa msg?
Sardar: Battery low.
Pathan: Hahaha mujhy Send kro Sabko tang karunga:-

 

[Xeric]

" I already died the day when Rehman malik declared apple as banana"
(Steve Jobs' last words)

---------- Post added at 01:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:37 PM ----------

Test of Loyalty
Put your wife in a car trunk and close it..
Put your dog in another car trunk and close it..
After 6 hours, open the trunks and see which one is happy to see you

 

[Xeric]

She married & had 13 children. Her husbnd died. She married again & had 7 more children. Again, Her husbnd died. But, she remarried & dis time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing b4 her coffin,the preacher prayed 4 her. He thanked the Lord 4 this vry loving woman & said, Lord,they r finally together
One mourner leaned over & askd her friend, Do u think he means her 1st, 2nd or 3rd husbnd.The friend replied, I think he means her legs.