SMS Thread!!

[Xeric]

One must always listen to his Wife, because She gives sound advice, cantaining -99% Sound and -1% Advice.

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Newspaper Mein ishtihar Aya
"Hmare Pas Aisi Product Hy, Jsko Pehn Kr Ap Puri Dunia Ko Dekh Skte Hain,Mgr Apko Koi Nai Dekh Skta
Rs.10,000+Free Home Delivry"
1 lrki Ne ishtihar Prhte Hi 10,000 Bheje
Kuch Dino Bad TCS 1Packet Le K Aya
lrki Ne Jaldi se Khola To Andr Se
"BURQA"Nikla Wo b Topi wala.

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Admit it!
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at sum point in ur life u hv tried 2 close d fridge slowly 2 C wen nd how d light insde d fridge goes off...!!

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Medical Association Ki Survey Report Main Likha Hai
"PESHAWAR"
Dunya Ki Wahid Jaga Hai. Jahan Qabz Ka 1 Bhi Mareez Nahi Aur Waja To Aap Jantey Hi Hain K.?
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Wahan Ka Pani Bhot Acha Hai.
Waisy Jo Aap k sath zulm hote Rahey Thy Wo Bhi tareka thek ha ..

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Dentist was removing Tooth of a lady..
Doctor :
Ma'am U r holding my balls..!!
Lady :
I know, it's just 2 Remind U dat We are not going 2 Hurt each other.!An update on PAK,US relations.

 

[Xeric]

1 tiger ny 1 sardar ko zoo me mar dya
1 bndy ne pocha tm ny sardar hi ko Q mara? Tiger:saaly ny dimag khraab kr diya tha,kb sy keh rha tha
"inni waddi billi

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Height of Creativity:
A boy saved his girl friend no. as LOW BATTERY
So, whenevr she calls & he is not around,his Mom plugs his phone to charger unknowingly!

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1 Cheeta CHARAS ki Cigrrate Bna Rha tha
1 Chuha Aaya or BoLa
Q zndgi Barbad karty ho?
Dekho kitna Khbsurat JungLe hy
Aao mery sath JungLe ki Sair kro
Cheeta us k 7 ho Lia
Agy 1 Hathi SHARAB Pi Rha tha
Chuha phir boLa
Q zindgi barbad krty ho?
Hathi B un k 7 ho Lia!
Agy 1 Sher Heroin peny ko Tyar tha
Chuha phr BoLa to Sher ny khench k thapar mara
Chety or Hathi ny wjha puchi to sher boLa
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"kaL b SaLa BHANG pi k Mujhy 3 ghanty ghumata rha

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WHO R BOYS?
ANS:
Wo jo Hell mey b milen to kahen,,, oye tu ne shetan ki beti dekhi?? kya mast bachi hai yaar...
Now
WHO ARE GILZ?
ANS:
Goes to Heaven & say,
Wo Pari ki nail polish dekhi tm ne?? how cheap shade, naa :-D

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A princess meets a talking frog..
Princess: Do I kiss you to turn you into a handsome prince?
.
Frog: That was my grandfather's time.
I need a blowjob, ******

 

[Xeric]

Understanding women is like downloading 1GB file with 2kbps speed and when you have downloaded 99% you get an error.

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A Child to Zardari: 15 Month se Hmarey School mein Teacher Nhi Aaya.
Zardari:to School kese chal Rha Hy?
Bacha; teri pehn noo ***... Jivain Mulk chal reya ay;->

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Ek Beemar fauji officer se uski biwi boli: Tum iss baar kisi janwaro k doctor ko dikhao, tubhi ap theek hon gey.
Husband: Woh kyon?
Biwi: Roz subha Murghey ki tarah jaldi uth jatey ho, Ghorey ki tarah bhag ke office jatey ho, Ghadey ki tarah din bhar kaam karte ho, Lomri ki tarhan idar udhar se information letey daity ho, Bandar ki tarah boss k ishare par nachtey ho, Ghar aakar family per kuttey ki tarah bhonktey ho, Aur phir rat ko Bhainsey ki tarah behosh so jaty ho.
Insano ka doctor tumhein kiya khaak theek kar paye ga!!

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Fees mafi k lye drkhwast:
To, The principal high school
Sir, bat ye hy k mere abu ny mje fees k lye 500 diye thay, 100 ki doston k 7 film dekh li. 150 k bottles or smosay kha lye. 50 ka aap ki beti ko easy load krwa dia. 200 english wali miss py shart har gya me smjta tha k un ka sirf math's wale sir k 7 chkkr hy pr un ka to ap k 7 b chkkr hy. Ab apk pas 2 hi rasty hen,meri fees mauf ya aap ka raz faash.
"urs obdiently" "PAPPU"

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Gujjar ki majj masjid me chali gai.
molvi sahab ne gujjar ko boht danta.
gujjar bola molvi sahab janwar c galti naal aa gaya kadi sanu wekhya j ty daso..?

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Military qualities of a Penis
1) It salutes all
2) Conquer virgin lands
3) March thru thick jungles
4) Op in evry type of terrain
5) No weather limitations
6) Has multi fuels, op even with low fuel
7) Dry prac
8) Xs obstacles easily
9) Always stand for a cause
10) Mutualy sp by balls
11) Attk in one up
12) Good at frontal as well as rear aslt
14) Gud nite vision
16) An alert night guard
17) Good standing posture
18) Fights till last drop
19) Silent fighter

 

[karan.1970]

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A Child to Zardari: 15 Month se Hmarey School mein Teacher Nhi Aaya.
Zardari:to School kese chal Rha Hy?
Bacha; teri pehn noo ***... Jivain Mulk chal reya ay;->

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In the same spirit....

Once Zardari gets off his plane and while getting into the car waiting for him, says,
"Driver aaj car hum chlayenge".. Driver says " To hum uttar jayenge"

"chala ke dekhiye, aapki tabiyat hil jaayegi.. "
"Yeh Car hai, aapki sarkaar nahin, jo Allah ke bharose chal jaayegi "


Disclaimer: Country agnostic joke.. Applies to Politicians all over the subcontinent

 

[Xeric]

SHAITAANO KA SCHOOL
Attendance register
YAjoj Mjoj
Yes sir
Zakoota
Yes sir
Firaon
Yes sir
Ebles
Yes sir
Zardari
Sir Gee odi application ayi hai odi sas mar gai a.

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College ke peeche nadi me Principal Doob Raha Tha.
Pappu Ne Dekha Or zor zor Se Chillate Hue bhaaga.
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kal chhutti hai....
kal chhutti hai....

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Sardar apne tota SE : Mitthu,Jalebi khyega? TOTA : "apny baap ko khila ullu k patthe, Phle Mirchi khila-khila k alsar karwa diya, ab Sugar bhi krwyega kya

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Hmesha Apni Psand k Raste Pr Chalo
Apne Alfaz ma Bat kro
Srf Wo kro Jo Apka Dil kahy
!
Phr dekhna
1 Din sari Dunia kahy gi
A ****** kisy di Nhi Manda.

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Larki ashiq ki qabr pr ro rahi thi.
Molvi: Q rooti ho?
Larki: 1 kiss mangty mangty mar gya me ne ijazt na di
Molvi: Tm mjhe de du, me parh k bakhsh do'n ga.

 

[Xeric]

Bhoot ka Bacha Apni Mom Se Khush Ho K Bola
Mom dekho Mai Kitna Draowna Hoon ?
Mom
Beta Zada Gharoor Acha Nhe
Abi Tm Ne ALTAF BHAI ko Rotay huway Nhe Daikha

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A simple and sincere wish for Army Offrs...
May you celebrate
next
year
with
the
same
NCB...
Happy new year again.

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Innocent Son
Mom why my cousin's name is Jasmin
Mom
Bcoz ur Aunt loves
Florwers
Son
Mom What do u Love ?
Mom
Dicky stop asking me such stupid questions
:-D

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Judge :
Tm par jo ilzamat sabit ho rhy hain
Is par apni safai may kia kaho gay?
Mulzim :
Jo ilzam lagane wala hay wo bhe mera bhai hay ap bhe mery bhai hain or hum sub pakistani bhai hain.
Judge :
Apni safai pesh kar barwe
Rehman malik Mat ban.

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Teacher to student!
Agr world Trade centre ka waqia karachi may hota to Govt kia krti?
Student!
Double sawari par pabandi lag jati...!!

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Pathan grlfrd ko ghar le gya
Sb darwaze khirkiyan band kr diye
Parde gira diye light off kr k pas
aya
or
kaha
dekho
hamara MOBILE me
Torch Bhi jalta hy.

 

[Xeric]

2 sraiki lover park me bethy chips kha rhy thy. Ankhon men Ankhen
dal k...
Girl sharma k boli...
Tusa meko itna ghor nal Q dekhday paey vey..?
Boy..!
Marren Thoray Thoray kha...
Saray dabbi vaindi ein...

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Malika Sherawat ko juicer chalate dekh ker us ki ama ne pocha: beta juice bana rahi ho?
Malika: nahi maa 1-2 din k kapre they socha isi mein dho loon...

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If
ABORTION
Is
A
Murder..
Then
Buying
A
CONDOM
is
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Target-killing ;-)
Veena Malik addressed in Nine Zero

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Judge: Tmhari akhri khwahish kia he?
Mujrim: Apki beti se shadi, i phon, 5 cror dollar,
U.S.A ka viza, 2 saal ka haneymoon, 6,7 bache jo apko nana kahen or mujhe papa, or men un sbki shadi krwa dun us k baad ap jo fesla do mjy manzor hoga.
Judge: Hahahaha meri koi beti hi nhi Tango saalay nu..

 

[Xeric]

Only 3 living beings are immune to cold..
Polar bears,
Penguins
&
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Ladies in weddings & functions....
Baqi subko thand lagti hai

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Mrs John was one month pregnant.
She receives a call from Electricity Billing Office: Is this Mrs John?
You are a month overdue.
Mrs John: How do you know?
Office: Our computer has found out this.
Mr John takes phone from his wife & shouts: My wife is overdue. Then What?
Office: Calm down & just pay us.
Mr John:What if I refuse?
Office:We will cut yours Off.
Mr John:And what will my wife do?
Offce: I guess she will have to use Candles.

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A boy was driving a car, a girl was trying to overtake him rashly.
Boy: "Hey...Buffalo!"
Girl Shouts back: "You monkey, Donkey, Stupid!"
Then she accidents and hits the buffalo crossing the road.
Moral: "Girls never understand what boys say!"

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A kid asked a priest:
Father, besides praying do u hav any other passtime?
The priest tapped the kids cheek & calmly replied:
Nun my child, Nun

 

[raufayub]

pora shair likha karo....jy tu putt saeen da, wasa na khain arain da.... jy tu mangein mauj baharan, chakr raeen arain da