I feel the same. My reason? What I did in the past is so disgusting, so despicable, so unforgiveable that even if I lived 10 lives I could not redeam. If there is god I have already earned a first class ticket in hell. I only hope the almighty forgives. But surely that can't be. If I am forgiven it would make mockery of natural justice and why would evil be stayed? Indeed it would be encouraged.
So what did I do? No comment.
Ofc, I won't unveil my worst on a platform like PDF. But I can say that one of the biggest mistakes of my childhood was gaining weight. I mean, yeah, eventually I lost all the weight (50 kg = 110 lbs); but the body NEVER forgets and I'm not even talking about loose skin. Surprisingly, I almost don't have visible loose skin but it damaged my childhood and teenage years in a way that words cannot describe. Deep down, I'm still mad at my parents for letting me gain all the weight.
If there's one thing I've learned from losing all the weight, it's that being thin/skinny doesn't make you happy, it doesn't turn your life around and being fat may hurt your health but your general happiness shouldn't rely on a number that your scale shows you.
And I learned the hard way that I cannot become a bodybuilder or a (semi-)professional athlet. That train has left the station the minute I became fat back then. The body cannot fully recover even if you don't see the damage, it's there in your joints, muscles, skin, organs etc.
Btw, this doesn't mean that I'm not doing sports. I go to the gym, still, I know - now - that most bodybuilders and athlets are doing sports since early childhood.
I tried to rectify this mistake of my childhood and I was able to do it for the most part. I guess, though, that any mistake you can rectify comletly cannot be considered as a mistake. For me, the definition of mistake is that it'll going to occupy you and nag you 'till you die.
You have no other choice than take it to your lonely, cold grave.
In many cases, your mistakes will even be with you in the hereafter.
Waiting for you in hell.
@Imran Khan