Joke
- Thread starter EagleEyes
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Bull
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A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.
Bull
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A man was just recovering in hospital after being unconscious for a week. His wife was sitting by his side when he woke up.
Man: Honey, you've been by my side when I was in that car crash, you were there when I lost my job, you were present when my parents died, and you were by my side when someone stole all my money from my account... and you know what?
Wife: What?
Man: I think you're bad luck.
Man: Honey, you've been by my side when I was in that car crash, you were there when I lost my job, you were present when my parents died, and you were by my side when someone stole all my money from my account... and you know what?
Wife: What?
Man: I think you're bad luck.
A.Rahman
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A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness,
Opportunity, and Threat) Analysis.
He said, my strength is my wife.
My weakness is my neighbor's wife.
Opportunity comes when neighbor goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem
can there be greater than this one?
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give
up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or
my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.
What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies &
division of friends.
Enjoy.
Opportunity, and Threat) Analysis.
He said, my strength is my wife.
My weakness is my neighbor's wife.
Opportunity comes when neighbor goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem
can there be greater than this one?
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give
up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or
my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.
What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies &
division of friends.
Enjoy.
A.Rahman
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Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Hindi movies that had his head pinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajnikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenesââ¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦
1. Rajnikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is
cured! Long Live Rajnikanth!
2. In another movie, Rajnikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3. Rajnikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajnikanth has a revolver but
no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics.
The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed.
Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives.
Rajnikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajnikanth can't even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajnikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajnikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air.
The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide..
In the movie of Rajnikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenesââ¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â¦
1. Rajnikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is
cured! Long Live Rajnikanth!
2. In another movie, Rajnikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3. Rajnikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajnikanth has a revolver but
no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics.
The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed.
Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives.
Rajnikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajnikanth can't even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajnikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajnikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air.
The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide..
Bull
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In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man
who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for 60 years...
So she went to check it out.
She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to
leave,she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to
the Wailing Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I
pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a f****ng brick wall!"
who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for 60 years...
So she went to check it out.
She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to
leave,she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to
the Wailing Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I
pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a f****ng brick wall!"
Wasim Khan Riyazi
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Ticket Chor Matarway!! Give my country my ticket back!!! :bat:
Just kiddin dudes .. nice jokes!
Just kiddin dudes .. nice jokes!
