Joke

[A.Rahman]

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that
time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "#$###, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

 

[A.Rahman]

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted.

 

[VisionHawk]

Three PAKISTANIS and three INDIANS are travelling by train to a Cricket
match at the World Cup, while in England.

At the station, the 3 INDIANS buy a ticket each and watch as the three PAKISTANIS
buy just one ticket for them all.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of
the INDIANS. "Watch and learn," answers one of the PAKISTANI.

They all board the train. The INDIANS take their
respective seats but all three PAKISTANIS cram into a toilet and close the
door behind them.

Shortly after the train departs, the ticket checker
comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the
toilet door and says," Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a
single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The ticket checker takes it and
moves on. The INDIANS see this and agree that it was quite a clever idea.

So after the game, they decide to copy the pakistani style on the return
trip and save some money. When
they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip.
To their astonishment, the
PAKISTANIS don't buy tickets at all !!!

How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says
one perplexed INDIANS. "Watch and learn," answers a PAKISTANI. When they
board the train the three INDIANS cram into one toilet and soon
after the three PAKISTANIS cram into another nearby toilet. The train
departs.

Shortly afterwards, one of the pakistani leaves the
toilet and walks over to the toilet where the INDIANS are hiding. He knocks
on the door and says, "Ticket please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The PAKISTANI takes the ticket and goes back into his toilet....

 

[melb4aust]

HAHAAHAHA LOL Unbeleavable man!!! Thats realy funny indeed....

 

[Tariq Iqbal]

Funny! Thanks for a laugh..

 

[Bull]

:banana2: too good

 

[VisionHawk]

Thanks guys for loving it do you guys have some more good jokes to share with us

 

[sword9]

Musharraf comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Musharraf: "Well Parvez, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant." "How do you know?" asks Musharraf "Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second".

He calls Advani over and asks him "Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!" "Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Musharraf is very impressed. He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet.
He calls in his favourite member of cabinet and asks: "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister? " He thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit further Sir? May I let you know tomorrow? ". "Of course", says Musharraf, "You've got 24 hours."

He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer.Twenty hours later, the member of Musharraf's cabinet is very worried-still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says to himself: "I'll ask Bill Clinton, he's clever, he'll know the answer." He calls Clinton. "Mr.President", he says, "Tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Very simple", says Clinton, "It's me!"

"Wonderful!" says the Cabinet member and hangs up. Jumping with joy realizing that he knows the answer, he rings Musharraf. "Sir, I've got the answer!".

"What is it?"

"It's Bill Clinton".

"No, you idiot", says Musharraf, "It's Advani".

 

[A.Rahman]

lol... Good one... I think you switched the names around, but still good

 

[sword9]

Originally posted by A.Rahman@Mar 28 2006, 02:44 PM
lol... Good one... I think you switched the names around, but still good

[post=7973]Quoted post[/post]​

If that was insulting then lets be careful about what we post (refer to the opening post of this thread).

 

[Spring Onion]

Originally posted by A.Rahman@Mar 28 2006, 02:14 PM
lol... Good one... I think you switched the names around, but still good

[post=7973]Quoted post[/post]​

its a very old joke and certainly not the way u had described it.
with touch of ur ----------------- towards us
its a pitty

 

[melb4aust]

We gotta have to be fair with others, but joke is a joke!!!!!!

 

[EagleEyes]

Chill guys.. joke is a joke thats what it is meant to be.

 

[Spring Onion]

Originally posted by WebMaster@Mar 28 2006, 07:11 PM
Chill guys.. joke is a joke thats what it is meant to be.

[post=7996]Quoted post[/post]​

ok if its like that thn chang it otherway round.
And let me post some rocking one here if those realy burnt someone thn dont blam me

 

[sword9]

Originally posted by Jana@Mar 28 2006, 08:50 PM
ok if its like that thn chang it otherway round.
And let me post some rocking one here if those realy burnt someone thn dont blam me

[post=8000]Quoted post[/post]​

If your idea is to insult us here then don't post. I get my share of insults from my in-laws. :?: