Joke

[Sugarcane]

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there). He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls...the cow farts. Ole is very surprised. He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and takes it home.

When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over to his neighbor Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come look at dis ere new cow I yust bought.

Pull her teat, and see vat happens.' Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts.

Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?' Ole is very surprised since he had not told Sven about his trip.

Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how'd yah know?'

Sven says, 'My wife's from Nordakota.’

 

[ghazi52]

 

[RAMPAGE]

@MastanKhan and others

Maza agya. Haven't laughed like this in a long time!

 

[ghazi52]

 

[asad71]

British hospitality !!!!!!!!

*Ralph, an American citizen aged 72, is visiting London for the first time.
He decides to skip the afternoon tour and explore the city on his own.
He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighborhood. Big, stately residences ... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all ... no public toilets
He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness beers and all that trouble with his prostate.
Ralph finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies Ralph, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public toilet."
"Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me."
He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away, anywhere you want."
Ralph enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. There are manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the bobby's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call 'British hospitality'?"
"No sir," replied the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy ,and does not come under English law!"

 

[asad71]

Explain Yourself!


There was this couple that was married for 10 years, and had a fine sex life, with one exception - every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights all the way.

Well, at first it wasn't so annoying, but after 20 years of marriage the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit.

So one night, while they were in the middle of a romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down and saw her husband was holding a specially made pleasure device. She got very angry. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him, "How could you have been lying to me all these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly, "I'll explain the toy if you explain the kids."

 

[mughaljee]

 

[Taygibay]

 

[MastanKhan]

 

[asad71]

What Confuciusdid notsay....words of wisdom that the great mandid notutter...!

CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ...

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood

Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.

 

[ghazi52]

 

[MastanKhan]

ق ليگ کے دو پرانے کتے

زمانے پہلے کی بات ہے کہ نوازشریف ق لیگ کے سربراہ چوہدری شجاعت سے ملنے ان کے گھر گئے تو چوہدری صاحب نے ان کی خوب آؤ بھگت کی۔ دعوت کے بعد گھر کی سیر کرتے ہوئے نوازشریف کے نظر دو بہت ہی خوبصورت کتوں پر پڑی تو بہت تعریف کی۔ اب سوال میزبان کے ظرف کا تھا، چوہدری صاحب نے نوکروں کو اشارہ کیا کہ یہ دونوں کتے میاں صاحب کی گاڑی میں رکھوا دو ۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔ اسی اثناء میں بجلی چلی گئی، پرانا دور تھا ، سادہ لوگ تھے، گھر میں جنریٹر بھی نہیں تھا۔ خیر چوہدری صاحب نے میاں صاحب کو رخصت کر دیا۔
.
صبح روشنی ہوئی تو دیکھا کہ کتے اپنی جگہ موجود تھے۔ حیرانی سے نوکر کو بلایا اور استفسار کرنے پر معلوم ہوا کہ غلطی سے کتوں کی جگہ دانیال عزیز اور طلال چوہدری کو میاں صاحب کی گاڑی میں رکھوا دیا تھا اور میاں صاحب آج تک ان دونوں سے کتوں والا کام لے رہے ہیں

 

[Zibago]

@Moonlight @The Sandman @django @jamahir

 

[jamahir]

and not one habibi there who doesn't have a fat face.

hmm, i don't have experience in this.

translation, please.

i can't read nastaliq script.

the story of most subcontinent students.

 

[Zibago]

and not one habibi there who doesn't have a fat face.



hmm, i don't have experience in this.



translation, please.

i can't read nastaliq script.



the story of most subcontinent students.

It says the great malala chicken shwarma 40 rs
Special shwarma 60 rs