I agree with you to some extent, 47 years of independence is a long time to develop the country but we have not been successful. The behavior of BD people you are talking about is present in all of Indian subcontinent, it's not exclusive to BD, even India did not become developed and wealthy in their 71 years of independence.
I can only hope we will improve ourselves.
There are only a handful country in the world which gone from under developed country to developed one in 47 years. You can count them in your digit. Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Singapore. Each of them are special case. Japan is a country developed a culture of hard work and discipline in their long isolation from the rest of the world. As these qualities were vital for them to survive as an overpopulated, isolated islands country in the fringe of the world. They could not expect any outside help, so they learned to depends on only themselves. Development of South Korea and Taiwan into modern, democratic and prosperous country was the ideological battle for United States and survival instinct for those two country in face of powerful enemy larking just behind. So, United states showered Japan, South Korea and Taiwan with huge investment in post ww2. For Singapore, it has the most strategic location in the world to become a shipping and trading hub of the East plus a brilliant leadership.
For China and Vietnam, their initial rigorous Communist discipline, political stability and investment in human capital helped them to be prepare to become world's factory once they open up their economy for foreign investment.
For Bangladesh and India, such circumstances were not available. United States did not shower these countries post ww2 with investment as there was no threat of Communist take over. The bad memories of two centuries of colonial rule, made India suspicious about foreign company's investment and India turned to Socialist policies with nationalization of all industries and discouragement of local or foreign private business. This notorious Licence Raj regime costed India 4 decades of economic growth and development. While for Bangladesh, our Pakistani colonial exploitation, war, political instability costed similar 4 decades of development. Both India and Bangladesh started to march towards real progress only after 1990s from a very low base. At least India has natural resources suitable for industrialization, but for Bangladesh, not even that.
So my question is, how can we compare the developmental trajectory of Bangladesh with those of East Asia which got none of these-
1. It did not showered with foreign investment in 1950s, and 1960s. Worse it was under exploitative West Pakistani colonial rule. Japan, South Korea and Taiwan in those years had both political stability under watchful American eyes and huge investment and ready American and other western market to sale their products.
2.It did not get rigorous Communist discipline, political stability and developed human capital like China and Vietnam in formative years. Rather we got flawed democracy and political instability.
3.It has no mineral resources suitable for industrialization. We have to keep in mind that China produce half of all Iron ore and Coal in the world. Two vital component for industrialization. Vietnam also blessed with a lot of natural resources. Both country are rich in both metallic and non metallic energy resources.
4.Wrong policy stemming from colonial hangover driven towards socialism, nationalization. It is worse than communism. At least in communism, there is iron discipline and no political squabbling. But democratic socialism is worst in third world countries. Unfortunately both India and Bangladesh were victims of this folly. And costed many decades of development and progress when our East Asian tigers were undergoing rapid modernization.
So, if we think uncritically about these two regions, it is very easy to fall for judging them at individual level(like they are hard working, we are not, they are intelligent, we are not, they are honest, we are not etc.) But when you compare the available opportunity they got, it become clear that the destiny were completely shaped in different ways for this two neighboring region.