Why should women change their names on getting married?

[jamahir]

I still have my maiden name.I was specifically asked not to change my name after my marriage as that would have looked different from my names on certificates.
I am glad that I've a hubby who thinks rationally.
Touchwood!!

your husband's name is touchwood??

by the way, what do you think of the experiment i wrote in post ( Why should women change their names on getting married? | Page 2 )... @Jf Thunder has already said "no" for unexplained reasons...

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@Peter C the problem in south asia in big families in a joint-family setting... just so that they continue a fake sense of "family-ness"... much of south asia has not progressed since 1945, and the reason being today's grandparents did not do anything to get themselves out of middle-class poverty or lower-class poverty... the grandfather did job instead of starting a business or getting into revolutionary politics...

the grandparents are now treated as heads of family, and they haven't learned after all these years, and now, their stupid advises are command for their children and grandchildren, who in turn continue their grandparents' middle-class poverty... that cycle will continue if allowed.

 

[Levina]

the basic point is existence of surname... whether of husband or the missus... i ask why should surname be present in this day and age?? our identity now is present via other means... passport number, national id number, house address etc.

can we do this experiment... within the next six months, we will remove our surnames, retaining just the first name... if any of us has a wife, she too must remove her last name...

You mentioned about passport number,national id number, house address etc which reminds me that a professor in my college used to call me Roll no. 54. Lol
His way of teasing me.
But i like surnames...i luv calling my frens Saraf..Parimoo ... Khan....etc etc.
Surnames 're used for a reason which i'm sure you know already. It helps in identifying a person in a crowd.IMO.
But then I dont see any point in adding hubby's name to a wife's name...I still dont understand its purpose.

your husband's name is touchwood??

grrrrr

 

[livingdead]

Why selfish? How are you going to fit multiple generations in one house?

the scheme works due to low life expectancy.. your grandparents usually die by the time you reach late teenage.

 

[atatwolf]

Doesn't matter if she changes her name or not. At the end the children will take over the surname of the father.

 

[RazPaK]

Doesn't matter if she changes her name or not. At the end the children will take over the surname of the father.

Thread should be closed now.

 

[Iggy]

the basic point is existence of surname... whether of husband or the missus... i ask why should surname be present in this day and age?? our identity now is present via other means... passport number, national id number, house address etc.
...

Well we cannot use passport number and national id to be introduced to others. right? I mean you do know that there will be many Harish or Girish in one village or a town..

 

[Hamartia Antidote]

2 kids, 2 parents and 2 grand parents max

Well that's reasonable. Of course if you have 3 brothers you aren't going to rotate them.

your husband's name is touchwood??

by the way, what do you think of the experiment i wrote in post ( Why should women change their names on getting married? | Page 2 )... @Jf Thunder has already said "no" for unexplained reasons...

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@Peter C ... and the reason being today's grandparents did not do anything to get themselves out of middle-class poverty or lower-class poverty..

Well I think there is a misunderstanding of the situation in the US when it comes to older generations. Many Americans in their 80's are not poor. Many are degreed professionals who have stock market retirement plans and social security. They drive cars and can take care of themselves just fine. However when they hit their 90's they are going to require some help.

If they are in their 50's when their children get married there is no need to stay home and "take care of them". They still have 9-5 jobs!! So the kids buy new homes and let their parents have some peace and quiet. Anyways the parents are probably more well off than the kids and may even help them pay for a new home.

 

[Armstrong]

Much ado about nothing. My wife kept her surname after marriage

My Wife also kept her surname.. She just changed her surname in facebook may be to console me..

My wife has not changed her name , nor do i feel she needs too.

Name change: I discussed this with my wife before getting married, It was voluntary option for her, and she agreed to add my family name to hers. But nothing comes for free in this world, the deal at the outset was she would get name all future children and pets, almost 2 years now into the marriage, I am realizing that fineprint was after taking my family name, she is going to make not just decisions of pets/ children names, but all decisions for me for the rest of my life....

Joru ka Ghulam !

Just kidding !

 

[jamahir]

grrrrr

maafi... maafi...

You mentioned about passport number,national id number, house address etc which reminds me that a professor in my college used to call me Roll no. 54. Lol
His way of teasing me.

and i am sure, some people here will pick that up... not me, of course.

It helps in identifying a person in a crowd.IMO.

in a non-friends crowd setting, yes... but among friends, not necessary, yes?? in face-to-face gathering, we address the person directly... on internet, like in pdf, we use nick-names or @ sign... or we use direct mail... when a person isn't present, we identify the person by extra information...

actually, my real first name has a nice "intellectual" meaning in arabi... and generally not so common... maybe that makes me partial to that experiment...

But then I dont see any point in adding hubby's name to a wife's name...I still dont understand its purpose.

very true... especially when common law in many societies allows divorce and re-marriage.

 

[Armstrong]

I still have my maiden name.I was specifically asked not to change my name after my marriage as that would have looked different from my names on certificates.
I am glad that I've a hubby who thinks rationally.
Touchwood!!

Now we know who the man of the house is - You !

Its a wonder that Mr.Levina didn't take your surname !

 

[jamahir]

Well we cannot use passport number and national id to be introduced to others. right? I mean you do know that there will be many Harish or Girish in one village or a town..

but there can be many harish joshi or girish rao too... so, again we must identify them by extra information... what they do... and the general area they live in... what their interests are... who their family is...

Many are degreed professionals who have stock market retirement plans and social security.

that can't be going very fine since 2007... and post-occupy...

as for college degrees, with fall of global software industry, and with emergence of 3-d printing and spacex and vertical farming and other things for a different future... those college degrees can't be valid for long...

However when they hit their 90's they are going to require some help.

true... and we can only wait for health-enhancing treatments.

but even in present south asia, a person in the 90's is better off in a proper old-age home than in a middle-class family setting with its money-based tensions and silly tensions with relatives and neighbours.

the uno body, who, had declared india to be "suicide capital of the world"... despite india's traditional "family values" system...

i don't like the word "retirement"... how can a mentally capable person be allowed to stop contributing to society?? they will not contribute later because they could not contribute when younger... and that is a political question... so, socialism is good.

and actually, in a old-age home, they can be allowed to contribute... better than among their family where they may be stopped by their children or grandchildren whose selfish nature is result of the grandparents not being socially active when younger.

Anyways the parents are probably more well off than the kids and may even help them pay for a new home.

true... and result of non-socialist society... housing must be a human right and must be free... in fact, everything should be free.

 

[Hamartia Antidote]

that can't be going very fine since 2007... and post-occupy...

as for college degrees, with fall of global software industry, and with emergence of 3-d printing and spacex and vertical farming and other things for a different future... those college degrees can't be valid for long...

Simply too many areas where skilled workers are needed. If anything machines will put non-degreed blue collared people out of jobs before white collar.

but even in present south asia, a person in the 90's is better off in a proper old-age home than in a middle-class family setting with its money-based tensions and silly tensions with relatives and neighbours.

You can live in a retirement home here too if you choose.

i don't like the word "retirement"... how can a mentally capable person be allowed to stop contributing to society?? they will not contribute later because they could not contribute when younger... and that is a political question... so, socialism is good.

You don't have to retire. The retirement age is just the age the government will start paying you back your social security if you stop working.

and actually, in a old-age home, they can be allowed to contribute... better than among their family where they may be stopped by their children or grandchildren whose selfish nature is result of the grandparents not being socially active when younger.

People can choose the route they want.

true... and result of non-socialist society... housing must be a human right and must be free... in fact, everything should be free.

The problem is "free" might not be adequate/acceptable.
Free might mean living in a tiny two bedroom apartment in some crowded 20 story building in the middle of nowhere.

 

[trident2010]

No one has to change the name. My wife hasn't changed her name and surname. No problem either with me or my family.

 

[Kambojaric]

Don't see why they should. If a female voluntarily wants to change her surname then fair enough but i personally see no need for this practice.

 

[FaujHistorian]

Islam is not mute may be you think so in Islam she becomes your wife enough no need to change name

As usual what you say is your confusion between tribal culture and religion itself.

you are not the first or last making the same mistake.

peace to you


p.s. Tomorrow you will come and tell us that Islam says to wear a tie or not.