This oversea Pakistani is tired of sending money to relatives

[alphapak]

I used to send money to Charities in Pakistan but stopped since the regime change
last year. Even this years qurbani I have gave it in Uganda and other money I sent
money for earthquake victims in Syria and Turkey.

I will only send money to Pakistan if Napak Fouj do their job, which seems impossible.
I wont be supporting this PDM government.

 

[313ghazi]

It beats me how able bodied working man faces starvation



DIY is the way to go

When there is no work. When there is so little money in the community that people aren't paying for stuff. Also when you don't have the skills to provide what people want. Also when there are monopolies limiting what you can earn.

 

[Abdul Rehman Majeed]

No one is forcing you to send anything.

A bunch of cry babies finding all excuses in the world.

Losers!

 

[313ghazi]

This oversea Pakistani is tired of sending money to relatives

What should I do ?

• Block my relatives
• Tell them go away
• Tell them cut the electricity line

What is a diplomatic approach to tell folks stop asking me for money?

May be for the FAUJI well paid that is not issue but for most people it is
This oversea Pakistani is on verge of , telling his relatives in Pakistani bye bye


Tired of Cousins begging for money



How do I tell my cousins that the FAUJI has f over Pakistan and this is story of all Pakistani homes

I would recommend only contributing towards household expenses for those who are unable to earn an income - the ill, the elderly, orphans/widows etc.

Everyone else, if you help them - you are poisoning them. If a young relative wants to go abroad, or learn a skill, or go to study or even start a business - help them, but ask them to put some of their own capital into it first. If a young man with no expenses works for 12-18 months he can put together something at least!

Never give anyone anything for free - my father did and it poisoned those who took it. They have lost all ability to be self reliant.

Simiarly dont give anyone money for weddings, a nikkah is necessary and a simple walima even in your own home. We must not fund lavish weddings which is a societal poison. Those of us with wealth must take the first steps and ensure our weddings are not lavish, regardless of the wishes of anyone else.

 

[ziaulislam]

This oversea Pakistani is tired of sending money to relatives

What should I do ?

• Block my relatives
• Tell them go away
• Tell them cut the electricity line

What is a diplomatic approach to tell folks stop asking me for money?

May be for the FAUJI well paid that is not issue but for most people it is
This oversea Pakistani is on verge of , telling his relatives in Pakistani bye bye


Tired of Cousins begging for money



How do I tell my cousins that the FAUJI has f over Pakistan and this is story of all Pakistani homes

Simply tell them you are sick and have health Billa to pay.

But all my relatives ask for money still vote for local PMLN MNA (peer sabir shah sahab)

No one is forcing you to send anything.

A bunch of cry babies finding all excuses in the world.

Losers!

Agree.
Youthias crying..can't see Pakistan progress

I used to send money to Charities in Pakistan but stopped since the regime change
last year. Even this years qurbani I have gave it in Uganda and other money I sent
money for earthquake victims in Syria and Turkey.

I will only send money to Pakistan if Napak Fouj do their job, which seems impossible.
I wont be supporting this PDM government.

On serious note

Hmm. But charity needs to happen at home so I still don't send charity anywhere else just Pakistan

 

[Fish]

This oversea Pakistani is tired of sending money to relatives

What should I do ?

• Block my relatives
• Tell them go away
• Tell them cut the electricity line

What is a diplomatic approach to tell folks stop asking me for money?

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.

May be for the FAUJI well paid that is not issue but for most people it is
This oversea Pakistani is on verge of , telling his relatives in Pakistani bye bye


Tired of Cousins begging for money



How do I tell my cousins that the FAUJI has f over Pakistan and this is story of all Pakistani homes

Ooh! Fauj in all caps!

Kiddie Pool Party fabricating stories to find new ways to crap on 'Fauj,' it seems!

Either that or you people are just royally butt hurt because despite all your online incitement and unhinged rhetoric against the establishment, the local youth failed miserably to burn this country down.

A so called "civil war" squashed like a bug in mere 48 hours, and now not a peep. Ought to be a record or something!

Must be heart-wrenching to see your beloved politicians scattered like sheep, the youth in hiding and no one giving a sh!t about their 'little' predicament, least of all Imran Khan who practically treated them like toilet paper.

He just wiped his arse (or at least tried to) and threw them away like a bunch of literal arse wipes.

No compassion, even for his very own minions.

It does actually hurts to see that he ruined the lives of so many young kids. After all, the establishment isn't going to go soft on 'em, that's the truth. And now, their innocent parents have to pay the price of their actions...

 

[Meengla]

I'm sending money only to my uncle's widow due to my father's request. The rest of the family I've declined to send a single dollar as I or anybody have no obligation to support them. The issue I've seen is they become dependent on it and do nothing to help themselves.

Your parents help them but nothing of the sort should be done to support extended relatives, especially cousins.

You do not need to lose sleep over them.

I wish I had your kind of fortitude. But I am a softie and keep doing it and I know they waste on multiple ceremonies weddings, on endless religious events, and on whatnot. Yet I keep doing it since April 2004. I would have accumulated that money and invested here and would have been financially far better off now. Yeah, I have been stupid!!

Speaking of cousins: There are endless numbers in need in Karachi. One cousin--who was poor and married a poor husband, had FOUR kids in rapid succession! FOUR! I have indirectly given her some but in one phone call I just erupted about her choices in life. And this cousin's brother--who was close to me as we grew up--was also supported by me for years. Helped with his son's college admission fee once and monthly some amounts. He always complained about having no house of his own and having to rent. So some 7 years ago, I gave him $5000 lumpsum with an explicit condition that he would use that for down payment toward some property he would buy. But, no, he used that on his son's rather lavish wedding. I was so upset. And when I went to Pakistan in last trip in December 2019, he again approached me for $5000!!! At that time I was myself in between jobs and worried. I just couldn't believe he would ask for more money and that kind of amount. I unleashed anger on him! I had supported him quietly, without letting anyone else in my family know but I let them know of what I had done. The cousin has been upset with me since then for doing so and we rarely ever speak anymore; I guess he senses the tap has run dry.

Supporting parents is one thing. But siblings and cousins? They are youngish and healthy. They should live within their means. They bitch about tomatoes so expensive. I said you could cook without tomatoes and that will be just fine!!! But, no, stretching hand for help is better than a tomato-less curry!!

 

[MastanKhan]

It beats me how able bodied working man faces starvation



DIY is the way to go

Hi,

You would never know till you hit the brick wall---and it is a terrible place to be. Just count your blessings that you are not in line to be one of them.

 

[BamsiBey]

Pakistan literally came into existence with the help Oversees Civilian Pakistanis like Jinnah and Iqbal. And saved by OVERSEEAS CIVILIAN Scientists like Dr. AQ khan and his team, and continue to function because of the OVERSEES pakistanis.

Look how these animals in government and army generals are treating the Oversees now?

 

[AZADPAKISTAN2009]

I would really like to know how much every Fauji has in bank account all the way to General Rank
I don't even think they pay for Utilities or Water or Electricity

Has anyone ever done a study on these figures
No wonder the Prices keep going up


It's time overseas Pakistani also started to debate seriously , enough of sending funds to Pakistan
considering no reforms are being done for helping Pakistan choose their ideal Leader

 

[fitpOsitive]

17,000 rupee electricity bill ridiculous !!!

This used to be 3000 rupee to 4000 rupee

Guys salary is 34,000

Fauji ka game destroying Pakistani homes

If they are your cousins then they should not get thus money that often. If they are your siblings and parents then I will say it's OK to send them money.
Everyone else is a freeloader.

 

[xyxmt]

This oversea Pakistani is tired of sending money to relatives

What should I do ?

• Block my relatives
• Tell them go away
• Tell them cut the electricity line

What is a diplomatic approach to tell folks stop asking me for money?

May be for the FAUJI well paid that is not issue but for most people it is
This oversea Pakistani is on verge of , telling his relatives in Pakistani bye bye


Tired of Cousins begging for money



How do I tell my cousins that the FAUJI has f over Pakistan and this is story of all Pakistani homes

tell them I lost my job and only send to very close relatives (parents) with the condition to hush about it. Tell them to keep begging for life or do something about it.

 

[nahtanbob]

When there is no work. When there is so little money in the community that people aren't paying for stuff. Also when you don't have the skills to provide what people want. Also when there are monopolies limiting what you can earn.

I understand the realities of 3rd world economy. I do not mean to be harsh. people can make better choices both individually, as a family, as an extended clan and as a society

Hi,

You would never know till you hit the brick wall---and it is a terrible place to be. Just count your blessings that you are not in line to be one of them.

I definitely will count my blessings that I am not in that state

 

[PakFactor]

I wish I had your kind of fortitude. But I am a softie and keep doing it and I know they waste on multiple ceremonies weddings, on endless religious events, and on whatnot. Yet I keep doing it since April 2004. I would have accumulated that money and invested here and would have been financially far better off now. Yeah, I have been stupid!!

Speaking of cousins: There are endless numbers in need in Karachi. One cousin--who was poor and married a poor husband, had FOUR kids in rapid succession! FOUR! I have indirectly given her some but in one phone call I just erupted about her choices in life. And this cousin's brother--who was close to me as we grew up--was also supported by me for years. Helped with his son's college admission fee once and monthly some amounts. He always complained about having no house of his own and having to rent. So some 7 years ago, I gave him $5000 lumpsum with an explicit condition that he would use that for down payment toward some property he would buy. But, no, he used that on his son's rather lavish wedding. I was so upset. And when I went to Pakistan in last trip in December 2019, he again approached me for $5000!!! At that time I was myself in between jobs and worried. I just couldn't believe he would ask for more money and that kind of amount. I unleashed anger on him! I had supported him quietly, without letting anyone else in my family know but I let them know of what I had done. The cousin has been upset with me since then for doing so and we rarely ever speak anymore; I guess he senses the tap has run dry.

Supporting parents is one thing. But siblings and cousins? They are youngish and healthy. They should live within their means. They bitch about tomatoes so expensive. I said you could cook without tomatoes and that will be just fine!!! But, no, stretching hand for help is better than a tomato-less curry!!

What you recounted is very similar to my father's experience in his early career and supporting his sister and her husband. The fight and separation still haunt my father; I think I've seen him mention his sister's name only 3-4 times since I came to my senses. When she was on her death bed breathing her last breath, she asked my cousin if my father could go and see her; when I asked him, he stayed quiet and didn't bother making a call or anything. This was last year.

The problem with money is it destroys families from within.

I agree with you on the baby-making part, I'm not against it, but they should only produce once you are stable. I believe you do a disservice to a child to bring him into this world to suffer along with you. My wife's sister married in 2020 and already has three kids (first daughter, then two twin boys). Their house is a double story with an uncle, a wife, and two children on the top floor. The married sister-in-law occupies the first floor with her three kids and husband and her in-laws comprising uncle, aunt, and two brothers-in-law.

On top, the other brother is getting married this year, and I'm sure we'll hear of another child being born within one year. When I asked the wife what his income level they said, "Guzara" I told her that meant their primarily hand-to-mouth and not a position to be in.

Her older sister, that married and has one daughter, is getting funds from my mother-in-law to run her house. I told the wife I hope it doesn't develop into a situation where your second and third sisters must reach out to run their house. The sad part was when the second sister was popping kids, the oldest praised it as some accomplishment and threw words like "ghar ban-gaya." Yet, neither of the husbands nor husband-to-be are educated beyond 8th grade, and the youngest dropped out before he even took the exam to get into 9th grade.


I count my blessings every day. I came from a financially stable and robust side of the family.

 

[omegared]

This oversea Pakistani is tired of sending money to relatives

What should I do ?

• Block my relatives
• Tell them go away
• Tell them cut the electricity line

What is a diplomatic approach to tell folks stop asking me for money?

May be for the FAUJI well paid that is not issue but for most people it is
This oversea Pakistani is on verge of , telling his relatives in Pakistani bye bye


Tired of Cousins begging for money



How do I tell my cousins that the FAUJI has f over Pakistan and this is story of all Pakistani homes

Tell them the truth and only help, when you can comfortably.

I've seen this script repeated many times, it goes something like this.

Guy keeps sends money to relatives in Pak, over many years.
They always want more, he sends more.

They may have appreciated it at first, but now it's a habit and not appreciated.
When the money stops, they will turn on you.
The same people you helped, will attempt to take your land /property when a close relative dies and leaves anything in a will.
They are only nice to you because you help.
If you can help, always do, bu the onus is on you to make sure they don't take you for a fool.