This oversea Pakistani is tired of sending money to relatives

[313ghazi]

I understand the realities of 3rd world economy. I do not mean to be harsh. people can make better choices both individually, as a family, as an extended clan and as a society



I definitely will count my blessings that I am not in that state

I could write a book on bad choices made by my relatives. I think getting them used to a lifetime of hand outs definitely made it worse.

 

[nahtanbob]

What you recounted is very similar to my father's experience in his early career and supporting his sister and her husband. The fight and separation still haunt my father; I think I've seen him mention his sister's name only 3-4 times since I came to my senses. When she was on her death bed breathing her last breath, she asked my cousin if my father could go and see her; when I asked him, he stayed quiet and didn't bother making a call or anything. This was last year.

The problem with money is it destroys families from within.

I agree with you on the baby-making part, I'm not against it, but they should only produce once you are stable. I believe you do a disservice to a child to bring him into this world to suffer along with you. My wife's sister married in 2020 and already has three kids (first daughter, then two twin boys). Their house is a double story with an uncle, a wife, and two children on the top floor. The married sister-in-law occupies the first floor with her three kids and husband and her in-laws comprising uncle, aunt, and two brothers-in-law.

On top, the other brother is getting married this year, and I'm sure we'll hear of another child being born within one year. When I asked the wife what his income level they said, "Guzara" I told her that meant their primarily hand-to-mouth and not a position to be in.

Her older sister, that married and has one daughter, is getting funds from my mother-in-law to run her house. I told the wife I hoped it doesn't develop into a situation where your second and third sisters must reach out to run their house. The sad part was when the second sister was popping kids, the oldest praised it as some accomplishment and threw words like "ghar bangaya." Yet, neither of the husbands and husband-to-be are educated beyond 8th grade, and the youngest dropped out before he even took the exam to get into 9th grade.


I count my blessings every day. I came from a financially stable and robust side of the family.

any brownie points for guessing how this is going to turn out ?

I could write a book on bad choices made by my relatives. I think getting them used to a lifetime of hand outs definitely made it worse.

it looks like pakistanis could use all those self-improvement books

 

[PakFactor]

any brownie points for guessing how this is going to turn out ?


it looks like pakistanis could use all those self-improvement books

Not for the best, that's for sure, and I told the wife I would not send a single penny.

 

[Olympus81]

You need to get them to a vasectomy clinic bhai.

 

[surmabhopali]

i sent money to help my brother finish school, now he with me in us

but every time it was fight with wife since we didnt have much money either back then

dont send what is not necessary


i only send help for education and large medical bills

wives are happy if you help relatives of their side , Otherwise there is always shortage of money for them .

 

[CIA Mole]

wives are happy if you help relatives of their side , Otherwise there is always shortage of money for them .

i paid for sister in law cancer

now wife cant say anything

 

[AZADPAKISTAN2009]

Once in while is ok but if it becomes a monthly thing then it is a problem

But it is a problem because al these "Price Rises" happening in Pakistan are forcing people to reach outward for help

Even people who never reached outwards


From Islamic point of view we have to help or give charity outwards every pay cycle

• And that is what I am trying to do but after 3 years it kind of adds up

My bank balance will not go with me afterlife but I hope may be some prayer from some one who I helped with benefit me afterlife god willing


But I wish Pakistan was not at this bad situation that people who are "Educated" and working are falling short of month to month expenses

 

[Conqueror]

Tell them truth, you don't have capacity to support them. Repeat the same message every time.

They may he genuinely in need, and you may be equally and genuinely unable to help. But when and where you can, consider lending a hand. Under Army's rule, Pakistan is in a deep $hit. Families are unable to feed themselves.