Stupid and Funny from all over the world

[Future Weapon]

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!

 

[Future Weapon]

 

[Future Weapon]

A Sardarji, a German and a Pakistani got
arrested consuming alcohol which
is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so
for the terrible crime they are
all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:

"It's my first wife's birthday today,and she has asked me to allow
each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."


This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to
be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."


But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also
led away whimpering loudly.


The Sardar ji was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said:

"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is
one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardarji replied.


"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."


"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

"And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.


Sardar ji smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

 

[Zizou]

YouTube - The Google Toilet: SuperNews!

 

[Future Weapon]

 

[Future Weapon]

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home and devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home and economist in bed.

 

[Future Weapon]

An Arab was interviewed in 1970 at US Embassy for visa



Embassy: Name, please?
Arab : Abu fatal al majid
Embassy: Sex?
Arab: Yez Every day
Embassy: I mean, male or female
Arab: Doesn't matter, sometimes even camel.
Embassy: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes cows n donkey, too.
Embassy: Man, isn`t that hostile?
Arab: Hostile, dogstyle, anystyle!
Embassy: oh dear!
Arab: No deer! A**hole too tight and they run fast.

 

[Future Weapon]

Zardari and Musharaf were in Paris where they made friends with a
French guy named Jean Paul.

They used to go all over Paris with him when suddenly one day Jean Paul
disappeared.

Zardhari and Musharaf went to the police and lodged a complaint .

The police asked Zardhari and Musharaf if they could give some vital
clues about Jean Paul that would make finding him easier.

Zardhari says..." Jean Paul was handsome and tall"

Police... " All Frenchmen are like that... give us something specific"

Musharaf says " Jean Paul had blue eyes and was very fair"

Police says " C,mon guys, all Frenchmen have blue eyes and they are fair,
tell us something specific"

Zardhari and Musharaf now.... "Oh yes. now we remember, Jean Paul
had two A$$ holes !!!

Policeman gets really interested now " Now that's something very specific-
but tell me , how do you know this ?? Did you guys see it.

Zardhari and Musharaf ... " No we didn't see the holes, but everywhere we
went with Jean Paul, everyone used to say, here comes Jean Paul with the
TWO A$$ holes.

 

[Future Weapon]

 

[DesiGuy]

hahahaha, btw, u got pic of female brain???

 

[Water Car Engineer]

 

[VelocuR]

What a clown!

 

[Gabbar]

What a clown!

You shouldn't laugh at this, someone hava him as a AVATAR and he is damn proud of it

 

[JonAsad]

What a clown!

Whats so funny about it?
His Beard?

 

[Water Car Engineer]

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