Need help regarding Child Adoption

[Zarvan]

I said already the legal documents don't include guardian's name as that child's father name, may be as guardian but not as father.

And for Mehram Na Mehram I won't argue any more because in a Muslim society where Muslim males kidnap a girl and rape her for more than four months and make videos of it does not in any way deserve to pass fatwa whether female adopted by my family is mehram or na mehram, for us it is sufficient that she feels safe with us. I hope you see the bigger picture.

Child should know from day one that people he is living with are not his real parents. Not when he is 18 ore above than he is given a shock that people he or she thought are his or her biological parents is not true. No ALLAH saw the bigger picture before giving us rules of Na Mehram and Mehram you don't have bigger vision than ALLAH or his RASOOL SAW. They made the rules because they know human nature perfectly.

 

[I.R.A]

Child should know from day one that people he is living with are not his real parents. Not when he is 18 ore above than he is given a shock that people he or she thought are his or her biological parents is not true. No ALLAH saw the bigger picture before giving us rules of Na Mehram and Mehram you don't have bigger vision than ALLAH or his RASOOL SAW. They made the rules because they know human nature perfectly.

Zarvan bagair sir kay kukar ki tarah takray nahi mar yar ................................ Try to understand, even if I wanted to I cannot change the child's parents name and for ALLAH's sake when you have your own children then come talk to me for the time being you are clueless how a child behaves and how your life changes after children. There is no time to discuss parents name in that age, all you worry about is diapers, milk, cereals, clothes, then school, books, education, uniforms, exams, performance etc.

@Jazzbot go ahead man just worry about that you can take care of the child and would be just to him, otherwise this discussion will confuse you and believe me Satan works in very strange ways, he will stop you from a noble act by making the other opposing act look more nobler.

 

[Zarvan]

Zarvan bagair sir kay kukar ki tarah takray nahi mar yar ................................ Try to understand, even if I wanted to I cannot change the child's parents name and for ALLAH's sake when you have your own children then come talk to me for the time being you are clueless how a child behaves and how your life changes after children. There is no time to discuss parents name in that age, all you worry about is diapers, milk, cereals, clothes, then school, books, education, uniforms, exams, performance etc.

@Jazzbot go ahead man just worry about that you can take care of the child and would be just to him, otherwise this discussion will confuse you and believe me Satan works in very strange ways, he will stop you from a noble act by making the other opposing act look more nobler.

Islam is rule is simple you have to call child by her fathers name from day one weather he understands or not so as he grows up he can have some idea. He should go ahead but in Islamic way Islam has clearly told the limits if you want to cross that than you are in trouble. ALLAH has made the rules and he knows better than all of you. So you stop banging head on the wall and follow what ALLAH and his RASOOL SAW has told to do. @Jazzbot

 

[I.R.A]

Islam is rule is simple you have to call child by her fathers name from day one weather he understands or not so as he grows up he can have some idea. He should go ahead but in Islamic way Islam has clearly told the limits if you want to cross that than you are in trouble. ALLAH has made the rules and he knows better than all of you. So you stop banging head on the wall and follow what ALLAH and his RASOOL SAW has told to do. @Jazzbot

Okay agreed, I hope you have no issues if someone (the guardian) wants to be called by that child's father name in his home in front of that child?

 

[saiyan0321]

@Jazzbot bro how goes the adoption process? Made any progress or are you stuck with these debates. :p :p :p bro do what you feel is right.

 

[Uzair Shafiq [Босс]]

Good luck!

 

[Jazzbot]

@Jazzbot go ahead man just worry about that you can take care of the child and would be just to him, otherwise this discussion will confuse you and believe me Satan works in very strange ways, he will stop you from a noble act by making the other opposing act look more nobler.

I'm not confused, just followed the discussion here to know more and more about it. After reading it all here and using google, I'll just stick with what I've decided and go ahead with it.

@Jazzbot bro how goes the adoption process? Made any progress or are you stuck with these debates. :p :p :p bro do what you feel is right.

Yar, I'm exploring the options. But one thing is sure, this ain't that easy process. It might actually take several months to find a baby and adopt it after all the mandatory documentation. I will keep you guys posted here once some concrete progress is made.

 

[saiyan0321]

Yar, I'm exploring the options. But one thing is sure, this ain't that easy process. It might actually take several months to find a baby and adopt it after all the mandatory documentation. I will keep you guys posted here once some concrete progress is made.

Tch. Processes. I hate them and in Pakistan they are unnecessarily long. Good luck man and don't get dishearted bro bcz its very easy to say screw it.

Cool. Hope to hear some progress soon and I pray that ALLAH WILL HELP YOU AND GUIDE YOU IN THIS PATH.

 

[Jazzbot]

Tch. Processes. I hate them and in Pakistan they are unnecessarily long. Good luck man and don't get dishearted bro bcz its very easy to say screw it.

Cool. Hope to hear some progress soon and I pray that ALLAH WILL HELP YOU AND GUIDE YOU IN THIS PATH.

The thing is, its simply a process of about 1 - 2 years at least if you go all legal. You'll have to apply for child adoption, get all your documents (tax, income, property, medical etc) submitted (and then verified) in 3 - 6 months time, and then if everything is approved, you have to wait in queue for your turn.

Above all, most of the organizations I've contacted told me that I'm not eligible for child adoption as I have my own biological son. There are thousands of people who have no kids so to make sure they get the first most priority, most organizations have banned couples with biological kids for child adoption.

So I'm looking at other ways for this. Going to adopt an orphan / infant indirectly from someone without involving these organizations. This means, I'll have to wait for a child that is up for adoption. Hence not sure how much time it will take.

 

[saiyan0321]

The thing is, its simply a process of about 1 - 2 years at least if you go all legal. You'll have to apply for child adoption, get all your documents (tax, income, property, medical etc) submitted (and then verified) in 3 - 6 months time, and then if everything is approved, you have to wait in queue for your turn.

That's a lot of documentation and that is most definitely going to take time. I guess in a way its good that they aren't handing out orphans just to anybody considering how horrible some people can be. Makes it harder for parents like you who just want a child but keeps the maniacs away. Que? Really? After verification it should be done in a snap. Considering we have loads of orphans shouldn't the process be quicker..

Above all, most of the organizations I've contacted told me that I'm not eligible for child adoption as I have my own biological son. There are thousands of people who have no kids so to make sure they get the first most priority, most organizations have banned couples with biological kids for child adoption.

So organizations would happily keep them in an underfunded orphanage rather than allow them the love and care of a parent. I get the priority of no child couple but if they have not applied then that shouldn't stop parents like you from adopting them. Banning has to be stupid. Give priority if you must but banning is crap.

So I'm looking at other ways for this. Going to adopt an orphan / infant indirectly from someone without involving these organizations. This means, I'll have to wait for a child that is up for adoption. Hence not sure how much time it will take.

Well good luck. Looks like you are in for the long haul. After verification it shouldn't take that long. If you are bypassing the organizations then make sure to legalize the process otherwise it will create a mess and messes in Pakistan cost money and time.

 

[Zarvan]

Okay agreed, I hope you have no issues if someone (the guardian) wants to be called by that child's father name in his home in front of that child?

No he can't be called father of the child.

 

[abp94]

Question @Zarvan

Let's say I want to take care of a child but I have no idea who the father is. Obviously I can't give him my name, which is obvious. I obviously can't call him by his father's name

I won't be calling a kid's full name anyway, just his name in front of him. What is the ruling for this? Curious

 

[Zarvan]

Question @Zarvan

Let's say I want to take care of a child but I have no idea who the father is. Obviously I can't give him my name, which is obvious. I obviously can't call him by his father's name

I won't be calling a kid's full name anyway, just his name in front of him. What is the ruling for this? Curious

You would call him your brother in faith if your wife have not breast feeded him. If your wife have breast feeded him than He will be your Razai son still if you don't know his real fathers name you can use word ABDULLAH in Urdu it means ALLAH ka banda because every human is ALLAH ka banda in that sense

 

[My-Analogous]

Hi all,

I have a son who just turned 3 and is about to start going school in coming 6 months (hopefully), so its time to think about expanding the family.

After thinking about this, I've decided to adopt a child instead of going for our own child (2 kids in total are all I want). Luckily, my wife's always been the first one to support me in every tough decision, so here again she has understood my point of view and agreed. Honestly, I had bit of tough time convincing my dad but in the end all's perfectly fine as we all are agreed about all the responsibility and stuff that comes with a child adoption.

Why I decided to adopt a child, well I remember as a child that my mom always wanted to adopt an orphan cousin of mine but my father (due to some family conflicts and other issues) never agreed, and he had valid reasons. So I've always had it in me (thanks to my mom), always wanted to adopt a child and raise him as my own along with my own kids.

---

Now the problem is, after convincing my entire family I still have no idea about how to proceed with this plan. Not sure where should I consult or contact for child adoption. I know there are organizations like Edhi etc but I want suggestions about the legal process as well. Unfortunately, none of my close relatives or friends have adopted anyone so I'm unable to find valuable assistance hence here I am asking you guys.

Do let me know if there are any centers or organizations in Lahore (where I live) where I should contact, and how to proceed with the process. Like I've said, I want complete custody of the child as I want to raise him as my own. Boy or girl doesn't matter, cast / ethnicity - I don't buy these things. Ideally the child should be less than 1.5 years old so we can groom him as we want.




@Jzaib @Jango @Armstrong @jaibi @Tameem @WAJsal @Color_Less_Sky @Irfan Baloch @Bratva @Hyperion @Leader @Shamain @notorious_eagle

There are some laws in Islam and if you are follower, so check with some Mufti's as well and if you are non muslim then it is other matter.

 

[Jazzbot]

That's a lot of documentation and that is most definitely going to take time. I guess in a way its good that they aren't handing out orphans just to anybody considering how horrible some people can be. Makes it harder for parents like you who just want a child but keeps the maniacs away. Que? Really? After verification it should be done in a snap. Considering we have loads of orphans shouldn't the process be quicker..

After all the documentary stuff, and its verification they give you a time or a token number. Lets say its 200, that means your turn is 200th so once 199 kids will be given, then you'll have your turn. Meanwhile they frequently make contact with you to make sure your commitment hasn't faded away. Even after your turn, they just don't give away the baby right away. They arrange several meeting sessions between kids (if he's of 3+ age) and the couple before transferring the custody.

So organizations would happily keep them in an underfunded orphanage rather than allow them the love and care of a parent. I get the priority of no child couple but if they have not applied then that shouldn't stop parents like you from adopting them. Banning has to be stupid. Give priority if you must but banning is crap.

To them, keeping the kids in underfunded orphanage is better than ruining their lives. That is why the process is slow and steady. You need to look at this from their point of view, it looks completely legit. And they've banned due to the reasons. They have several known cases where couples with biological kids started to discriminate between their own and adopted kids after some time.

Well good luck. Looks like you are in for the long haul. After verification it shouldn't take that long. If you are bypassing the organizations then make sure to legalize the process otherwise it will create a mess and messes in Pakistan cost money and time.

True that.