Kill The Dowry.

[Leader]

just a final word on this matter.... fitay moun on those who take dowry !!

 

[rockstarIN]

Dowry is outlawed in india, but its pervasive in culture.
Although I know some people now a days dont take it as such.
In my view, the girl should get her part of share of property fairly (was not part of hindu law till recently) and dowry is a poor substitute for that.

ya finally, it all coming down to the property dispute.

It became a tool of early settlement of property of women.

 

[madooxno9]

From this thread , i remember a recent incident where one of my old friend got married to District Magistrate .Though my friend is a doctor by profession even though she end up coughing up 5.5 corore ( 1 million dollars) .

 

[AUSTERLITZ]

Refusing to take dowry was one of my, engagement conditions. This insanity makes me sick to my stomach.

Good for you congratz mate,if i ever marry this will be my first and foremost condition.
This ugly medieval practice needs to be obliterated from all over the subcontinent regardless of borders.

 

[hassana]

Doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand,the message that Dowry [Jahez], is a curse. If you are a Muslim, than it is almost Haram, if you look at it through a human perspective, its a cruse and a custom that represents stone age.Lets divorce the dowry, for good.

Its a public service message.


*Translation for Urdu Line in the Middle: "If you are needy, than you should collect your Zakat not the Dowry."

ne
I find it very interesting that everything in pakistan starts and finish with islam but no one follows it, like in this ad "Muslim co-notation"' When u land at the a ir port customs will tell u can not bring this this in to the country coz it,s islamic country then they will tell u if u pay bribe it, ok . Everyone lies through their teeth, cheating is way of life. etc etc but still all the pakistanies think they all going to haven. every one, convinced they have not done anything wrong,

 

[Hyperion]

Buddy all the ill's that you just mentioned are endemic to the whole of subcontinent and maybe Africa as well.

ne
I find it very interesting that everything in pakistan starts and finish with islam but no one follows it, like in this ad "Muslim co-notation"' When u land at the a ir port customs will tell u can not bring this this in to the country coz it,s islamic country then they will tell u if u pay bribe it, ok . Everyone lies through their teeth, cheating is way of life. etc etc but still all the pakistanies think they all going to haven. Despite all that every one, convinced they have not done anything wrong,

 

[Hyperion]

Its not just in your family, there is no tradition of jahaiz among all pashtuns,. In our pashtun society, in addition to haq mehar, a groom has to pay zar,gold to bride, and he also has to pay for all the expenditures of the wedding. Thats why they say about us in punjab that we sell our daughters.

I know mate! I was just trying to sidestep "zar", so that this thread does not get derailed.

 

[Kompromat]

 

[Armstrong]

@Hyperion @Monkey D Luffy @Aeronaut

What ?

So let me get this straight :

(a) You guys buy wives !

(b) Whereas we sell them !

Buraa lagaa ? Mujhee bhiii !

Jahaiz like Zar has the same propensity of abuse so let us not demonize one & exalt the other ! Both traditions were born keeping something good in mind.

One could even argue that Haq-Mehar should be abolished as well because I've seen cases with my own eyes in my extended family where the groom's father actually had to take out a loan to pay for the Haq-Mehar the Bride's side of the family were demanding ! I'm sure there are more such examples all over Pakistan.

So instead of banning one or the other let us 'regulate' them ! Just as in the Punjab, the poor families were given relief, by ensuring that only 'One-Dish' bridal events will be allowed; we can pass a law that places an upper & lower limit on the Haq-Mehar, the Zar & the Jahaiz that could be given or demanded by either side. We could take it a step further to ensure that the bride's right to the 'Haq-Mehar' is protected further by ensuring that Government Bonds are to be bought or the money is to be invested in a Government's Plot Distribution scheme, all in the name of the bride !

So kill the 'dowry', kill the 'zar' & kill the 'Haq-Mehar' too not selectively or better yet recognize that neither of those practices are inherently evil & utterly devoid of good examples (great ones in fact) but have the propensity of abuse...massive abuse.

On my part : I will neither buy a bride (zar) nor sell a daughter (dowry) !

 

[Marwat Khan Lodhi]

@Hyperion @Monkey D Luffy @Aeronaut

What ?

So let me get this straight :

(a) You guys buy wives !

(b) Whereas we sell them !

Buraa lagaa ? Mujhee bhiii !

Jahaiz like Zar has the same propensity of abuse so let us not demonize one & exalt the other ! Both traditions were born keeping something good in mind.

One could even argue that Haq-Mehar should be abolished as well because I've seen cases with my own eyes in my extended family where the groom's father actually had to take out a loan to pay for the Haq-Mehar the Bride's side of the family were demanding ! I'm sure there are more such examples all over Pakistan.

So instead of banning one or the other let us 'regulate' them ! Just as in the Punjab, the poor families were given relief, by ensuring that only 'One-Dish' bridal events will be allowed; we can pass a law that places an upper & lower limit on the Haq-Mehar, the Zar & the Jahaiz that could be given or demanded by either side. We could take it a step further to ensure that the bride's right to the 'Haq-Mehar' is protected further by ensuring that Government Bonds are to be bought or the money is to be invested in a Government's Plot Distribution scheme, all in the name of the bride !

So kill the 'dowry', kill the 'zar' & kill the 'Haq-Mehar' too not selectively or better yet recognize that neither of those practices are inherently evil & utterly devoid of good examples (great ones in fact) but have the propensity of abuse...massive abuse.

On my part : I will neither buy a bride (zar) nor sell a daughter (dowry) !

You dont need to say all this to defend your people.... neither we pashtuns sell our daughters neither we buy our wives....because zar(gold) is bought for wife not her parents, this gold is kind of wedding gift of husband for her wife.....on the other hand jahaiz in your punjab is abuse of women......and you sont say "kill haq mehar", its in islam.

 

[KingMamba]

@Hyperion @Monkey D Luffy @Aeronaut

What ?

So let me get this straight :

(a) You guys buy wives !

(b) Whereas we sell them !

Buraa lagaa ? Mujhee bhiii !

Jahaiz like Zar has the same propensity of abuse so let us not demonize one & exalt the other ! Both traditions were born keeping something good in mind.

One could even argue that Haq-Mehar should be abolished as well because I've seen cases with my own eyes in my extended family where the groom's father actually had to take out a loan to pay for the Haq-Mehar the Bride's side of the family were demanding ! I'm sure there are more such examples all over Pakistan.

So instead of banning one or the other let us 'regulate' them ! Just as in the Punjab, the poor families were given relief, by ensuring that only 'One-Dish' bridal events will be allowed; we can pass a law that places an upper & lower limit on the Haq-Mehar, the Zar & the Jahaiz that could be given or demanded by either side. We could take it a step further to ensure that the bride's right to the 'Haq-Mehar' is protected further by ensuring that Government Bonds are to be bought or the money is to be invested in a Government's Plot Distribution scheme, all in the name of the bride !

So kill the 'dowry', kill the 'zar' & kill the 'Haq-Mehar' too not selectively or better yet recognize that neither of those practices are inherently evil & utterly devoid of good examples (great ones in fact) but have the propensity of abuse...massive abuse.

On my part : I will neither buy a bride (zar) nor sell a daughter (dowry) !

You can't kill Haq-Mehar just because the foolish groom did not know his own religion. The brides family has no right to demand Haq-Mehar it is whatever the groom decides to give her whether a couple of dishes or a million dollars. He should have told that girl to take a hike.

 

[KRAIT]

@Aeronaut The dowry has reduced only by the people who like you, say no to dowry.

Let me tell you case of Haryana, my friend told me that when his sister will get married they might have to give 80 lakhs as dowry. So when he will get married, his parents will take at least 1 cr.

According to him, if a family have two boys, they say, "Teri to lottery lag gayi".Because of this female babies are killed in haryana and sex ratio has declined.

But in many states, the dowry is changed into more subtle way. People actually make compromises while arranging a marriage. There are no direct demands in many cases. Many people give from their wish, not on demand as they think its important to show off, otherwise people will say "Dekho, beti ko kuch nahin diya". Even the groom's side buy jewellery for bride and they tell the gift is from girl's side to show that the bride's girl is also well to do.

Do you know there is rate of civil servants. govt. officials. For an IAS officer it can start from 50 lakhs to 1 cr. And so on for various top posts.

 

[Iggy]

Come on guys!! Victims get compensation when big accidents happens!!

 

[Armstrong]

You dont need to say all this to defend your people.... neither we pashtuns sell our daughters neither we buy our wives....because zar(gold) is bought for wife not her parents, this gold is kind of wedding gift of husband for her wife.....on the other hand jahaiz in your punjab is abuse of women......and you sont say "kill haq mehar", its in islam.

On the contrary Jahaiz is nothing more than & nothing less than the other side of the coin; the other side being zar.

I could argue that Jahaiz is neither for the wife or the groom or the parents but the 'couple' & as such trumps either your Zar or Haq-Mehar in the 'thought' that it carries & yet I recognize that like either of those three it has the propensity of abuse !

This isn't about defending my 'People' for the 'Pashtuns' are my People too but it is simply an attempt to impress upon you that 'traditions' are made with something 'good-in-mind' & yet, like all things in life, are used & abused sometimes more so than one would care to think.

 

[Kompromat]

@Aeronaut The dowry has reduced only by the people who like you, say no to dowry.

Let me tell you case of Haryana, my friend told me that when his sister will get married they might have to give 80 lakhs as dowry. So when he will get married, his parents will take at least 1 cr.

According to him, if a family have two boys, they say, "Teri to lottery lag gayi".Because of this female babies are killed in haryana and sex ratio has declined.

But in many states, the dowry is changed into more subtle way. People actually make compromises while arranging a marriage. There are no direct demands in many cases. Many people give from their wish, not on demand as they think its important to show off, otherwise people will say "Dekho, beti ko kuch nahin diya". Even the groom's side buy jewellery for bride and they tell the gift is from girl's side to show that the bride's girl is also well to do.

Do you know there is rate of civil servants. govt. officials. For an IAS officer it can start from 50 lakhs to 1 cr. And so on for various top posts.

You, HAVE to be kidding me