Kill The Dowry.

[KRAIT]

You, HAVE to be kidding me

Welcome to India.

 

[Zarvan]

@Aeronaut The dowry has reduced only by the people who like you, say no to dowry.

Let me tell you case of Haryana, my friend told me that when his sister will get married they might have to give 80 lakhs as dowry. So when he will get married, his parents will take at least 1 cr.

According to him, if a family have two boys, they say, "Teri to lottery lag gayi".Because of this female babies are killed in haryana and sex ratio has declined.

But in many states, the dowry is changed into more subtle way. People actually make compromises while arranging a marriage. There are no direct demands in many cases. Many people give from their wish, not on demand as they think its important to show off, otherwise people will say "Dekho, beti ko kuch nahin diya". Even the groom's side buy jewellery for bride and they tell the gift is from girl's side to show that the bride's girl is also well to do.

Do you know there is rate of civil servants. govt. officials. For an IAS officer it can start from 50 lakhs to 1 cr. And so on for various top posts.

I have only one question what the hell is your point ? Sir dowry is a really bad thing yes they are many other corruption to in the society but dowry is also really very big evil which needs to be banned completely so even daughter of poor people can get married and don't have to face torture but along with banning it we need to educate people on the evil affects of this custom on our societies so they don't taunt their females or daughter in laws

 

[SHAMK9]

I have only question what the hell is your point ? Sir dowry is a really bad thing yes they are many other corruption to in the society but dowry is also really very big evil which needs to be banned completely so even daughter of poor people can get married and don't have to face torture but along with banning it we need to educate people on the evil affects of this custom on our societies so they don't taunt their females or daughter in laws

For the first time ever, I agree with you down with dowry!

 

[Agnostic_Indian]

Dodwry is not that bad thing, in old days ladies were not given proper share in father's ancestral property, instead of that dowary was given..Now laws are changed and women have equal share in property/wealth so dowry system is not needed.either way women should get a part of father's wealth that's it..in that sense dowary was not that bad, people misused the dowry system.

 

[KRAIT]

I have only question what the hell is your point ? Sir dowry is a really bad thing yes they are many other corruption to in the society but dowry is also really very big evil which needs to be banned completely so even daughter of poor people can get married and don't have to face torture but along with banning it we need to educate people on the evil affects of this custom on our societies so they don't taunt their females or daughter in laws

Point is the reality and inability to impose the law for reducing this crime.

I know all these emotions attached, Dowry is evil, blah blah blah.......this doesn't solve the problem in the real world. What solve is you have to know the factors and social norms or customs, no matter how skewed they are, understand them and then make amendments in law.

There is a proposal in the courts that will limit the money to be spent on the wedding. This might help in reducing the lavish spending, extra spending the girl's parents don't have to do.

Education doesn't changes few people's behavior. Like I mentioned even most educated people demand dowry. Also, many parents want to give gifts to their daughter by their own wish.

So all this singing, dancing, cr@p in the world doesn't do a squat. What changes the system is practical solution to be found to understand the REAL reasons behind this evil.

Education is solution to all problems in the world but one has to go deep into how this education can be applied to curb an evil.

This include helpline numbers, rapid actions by Police, support services to the victim, stricter punishment, informing people the laws that exists that can help a victim.

So buddy, give practical solution, not these same old rhetoric.

For the first time ever, I agree with you down with dowry!

Down with the dowry don't solve the problem. Get to the roots of the problem and make practical suggestions for constructive discussion otherwise we will be beating around the bushes.

Lamenting an evil is society is one thing, finding the solution is completely different game.

Dndwry is not that bad thing, in old days ladies were not given proper share in father's ancestral property, instead of that dowary was given..Now laws are changed and women have equal share in property/wealth so dowry system is not needed.either way women should get a part of father's wealth that's it..in that sense dowary was not that bad, people misused the dowry system.

Thanks for making a constructive statement. Agree with you. If a girl doesn't want share in the property, she has to sign legal documents to hand over the property to her brother. Otherwise he has to give her the share she has the right of.

 

[Zarvan]

Point is the reality and inability to impose the law for reducing this crime.

I know all these emotions attached, Dowry is evil, blah blah blah.......this doesn't solve the problem in the real world. What solve is you have to know the factors and social norms or customs, no matter how skewed they are, understand them and then make amendments in law.

There is a proposal in the courts that will limit the money to be spent on the wedding. This might help in reducing the lavish spending, extra spending the girl's parents don't have to do.

Education doesn't changes few people's behavior. Like I mentioned even most educated people demand dowry. Also, many parents want to give gifts to their daughter by their own wish.

So all this singing, dancing, cr@p in the world doesn't do a squat. What changes the system is practical solution to be found to understand the REAL reasons behind this evil.

Education is solution to all problems in the world but one has to go deep into how this education can be applied to curb an evil.

This include helpline numbers, rapid actions by Police, support services to the victim, stricter punishment, informing people the laws that exists that can help a victim.

So buddy, give practical solution, not these same old rhetoric.

Down with the dowry don't solve the problem. Get to the roots of the problem and make practical suggestions for constructive discussion otherwise we will be beating around the bushes.

Lamenting an evil is society is one thing, finding the solution is completely different game.

Thanks for making a constructive statement. Agree with you. If a girl doesn't want share in the property, she has to sign legal documents to hand over the property to her brother. Otherwise he has to give her the share she has the right of.

Sir only thing which is lacking is will if will is their it can be done dowry needs to be banned and those who take and even those who try to give it should be put behind bars at least for 5 years give this start giving this punishment you will see that this will reduce a lot

 

[Spring Onion]

On the contrary Jahaiz is nothing more than & nothing less than the other side of the coin; the other side being zar.

I could argue that Jahaiz is neither for the wife or the groom or the parents but the 'couple' & as such trumps either your Zar or Haq-Mehar in the 'thought' that it carries & yet I recognize that like either of those three it has the propensity of abuse !

This isn't about defending my 'People' for the 'Pashtuns' are my People too but it is simply an attempt to impress upon you that 'traditions' are made with something 'good-in-mind' & yet, like all things in life, are used & abused sometimes more so than one would care to think.

Brother please stop justifying the most stinking ill that prevails in Punjab Province of Pakistan more than any other.

And personally i feel there are reasons for that. Punjab still follows many Hindu influenced customs in marriages dowry is one of these (No offense to Indians here but thats the fact).

Many families in Punjab proudly handover lists of dowry which sometimes also include a vehicle to brides family.

 

[KRAIT]

Sir only thing which is lacking is will if will is their it can be done dowry needs to be banned and those who take and even those who try to give it should be put behind bars at least for 5 years give this start giving this punishment you will see that this will reduce a lot

Do you really think there are not enough laws to curb these. In many cases, when dowry is demanded, which is generally made when groom reaches the bride's home. Now the parent has to agree to the demand or they threaten to take back the Barat.

In these cases many brides have called the police and the groom and his family is arrested. If a girl is tortured or harassed, she can file a complaint and groom and his family will be put behind bars.

Will to curb the crime is one thing, but point of discussion is how to create this will. Also if there isn't a will, then what are the other measures. Proactive measures by the govt. can come into play here. Kindly go through what I have suggested and we can have detailed discussion on each probable solution.

Punishment is the last aspect of the solution. One has to go to origin and midst of the crime and implementation of law.

Brother please stop justifying the most stinking ill that prevails in Punjab Province of Pakistan more than any other.
And personally i feel there are reasons for that. Punjab still follows many Hindu influenced customs in marriages dowry is one of these (No offense to Indians here but thats the fact).
Many families in Punjab proudly handover lists of dowry which sometimes also include a vehicle to brides family.

None taken.

Many evil customs find their way in other religion as for people they think that custom will be beneficial for them.

Another thing that is been happening in India is that groom and bride's families decide to do the marriage at groom's place rather than groom taking the barat to bride's home. Also, they now pool in the money so that they can have good wedding and no one feels the extra monetary pressure.

 

[Zarvan]

Do you really think there are not enough laws to curb these. In many cases, when dowry is demanded, which is generally made when groom reaches the bride's home. Now the parent has to agree to the demand or they threaten to take back the Barat.

In these cases many brides have called the police and the groom and his family is arrested. If a girl is tortured or harassed, she can file a complaint and groom and his family will be put behind bars.

Will to curb the crime is one thing, but point of discussion is how to create this will. Also if there isn't a will, then what are the other measures. Proactive measures by the govt. can come into play here. Kindly go through what I have suggested and we can have detailed discussion on each probable solution.

Punishment is the last aspect of the solution. One has to go to origin and midst of the crime and implementation of law.

None taken.

Many evil customs find their way in other religion as for people they think that custom will be beneficial for them.

Another thing that is been happening in India is that groom and bride's families decide to do the marriage at groom's place rather than groom taking the barat to bride's home. Also, they now pool in the money so that they can have good wedding and no one feels the extra monetary pressure.

No Sir in Pakistan there are not enough laws Sir to stop this evil

 

[KRAIT]

No Sir in Pakistan there are not enough laws Sir to stop this evil

Then we can discuss the possible solution by understanding the reasons and social phenomenon related to this problem in Pakistan.

 

[Zarvan]

Then we can discuss the possible solution by understanding the reasons and social phenomenon related to this problem in Pakistan.

It is considered a evil by many in Pakistan but it is not a crime in Pakistan

 

[Armstrong]

Brother please stop justifying the most stinking ill that prevails in Punjab Province of Pakistan more than any other.

And personally i feel there are reasons for that. Punjab still follows many Hindu influenced customs in marriages dowry is one of these (No offense to Indians here but thats the fact).

Many families in Punjab proudly handover lists of dowry which sometimes also include a vehicle to brides family.

I was simply arguing that these customs & traditions were born out of 'good intentions' & have indeed the propensity of abuse & are abused but thats common to every tradition in Pakistan ! I've heard some extremely depressing stories about Haq-Mehar too & even your Zar in the context of Jirgas; should one argue that they're 'evil incarnate' too ? Its the mindset thats evil where women are treated as objects to be bought & sold or bartered with to solve disputes & it must be eliminated.

On my part, I'm clear - I will neither buy a wife nor sell a daughter !

P.S In my family we don't do Jahaiz only Haq-Mehar !

 

[Don Jaguar]

I was simply arguing that these customs & traditions were born out of 'good intentions'

Lakin Pakistan mein sub kaam ultay ho jatay hain.