Joke

[fatman17]

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre.

After the community sing song led by Alice at the piano

It was time for the Star of the Show-
Claudio the Hypnotist!

Claudio explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.
"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claudio.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claudio carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket
A beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claudio, holding the watch high for all to see.
"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations"
Said Claudio.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting
"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch"

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.

The lights twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.
And then,Suddenly,

The chain broke!!!

The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact"


"****" said Claudio.


It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Centre

And Claudio was never invited to entertain again!

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Astra-2013]

increasing my post to 15.so i can post links

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre.

After the community sing song led by Alice at the piano

It was time for the Star of the Show-
Claudio the Hypnotist!

Claudio explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.
"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claudio.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claudio carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket
A beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claudio, holding the watch high for all to see.
"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations"
Said Claudio.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting
"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch"

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.

The lights twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.
And then,Suddenly,

The chain broke!!!

The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact"


"****" said Claudio.


It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Centre

And Claudio was never invited to entertain again!

but all posts count only one time

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[fatman17]

laila majnu


>>> Laila nay Majnu ko aik daracht kay peeche dekha, aur boli;
>>
>>> "Tum Majnu ho na?
>>
>>> Majnu bola: " han."
>>
>>> Phir kutch dair bad usay jharhion kay peeche dekha, to boli; "Tum Majnu ho na?"
>>> Wo bola: "han."
>>
>>> Phir kutch dair bad usay deewar kay peeche dekha, aur kaha;
>>
>>> "Tum Majnu ho na?"
>>
>>> Majnu bola:
>>
>>> "Laila, Khuda de wastay mainu Potti karan de!!!"

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Master Blaster]

india became a superpower...

 

[quranak343]

i liked the funny jokes.i am very interesting to listened the funny jokes.

 

[Masterio92]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand
up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you
think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Masterio92]

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile
cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under
it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh
uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, ''What's wrong with
you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could
possibly be funny at a time like this?''
The other missionary replied, ''I just peed & **** in the soup!'’

 

[fatman17]

Even If You Never Served in the Armed Forces , You will relish this Situation.....!!!!!


A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland,
at midnight during a winter month. During the pilot's preflight check,
he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last
flight. So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off
duty is called out to take care of it.

The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the
aircraft only to find that the latrine pump-truck has been left
outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the
hangar, which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is
less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes
about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as
not to risk criticism later.

As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, 'Son, your
attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm
going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but
punished.'

Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath,
stands tall and says, 'Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son;
I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule,
Greenland, for 11 months without any leave, and reindeer's ***** are
beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it's 2:30 in
the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here
is to pump **** out of an aircraft. Now, just exactly what further
form of punishment did you have in mind?

 

[jha]

A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn't have the greatest relationship with.

"You know, I was with another woman last night, but I was still thinking of you.

"Why, because you miss me?"

"No, because it keeps me from cumming too fast."