Joke

[Gentelman]

"I love walking in rain so that no one can see my tears"

Ye purana wala tha....
.
"I love walking in fog so that no one can see that I am smoking."

Ye naya tha....
.
Aur Latest ye hai....
.
I love walking
.
.
.
.
.
Bcoz petrol is very expensve and CNG is not available:-D :p

 

[Gentelman]

Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace here are sleeping pills. Wife: When must I give them to him? Doctor: They are for you.

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[neehar]

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Hindi movies that had his head pinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.



In the movie of Rajnikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes………………………



1. Rajnikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is
cured! Long Live Rajnikanth!



2. In another movie, Rajnikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.



3. Rajnikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajnikanth has a revolver but
no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...


This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics.


The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed.



Oops, not so fast!


The 'climax' finally arrives.


Rajnikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajnikanth can't even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajnikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.

(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)


Rajnikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air.


The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.



Newton commits suicide..

trust me u dnt know bala krishna and vijaykanth

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[fatman17]

Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Obama!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Sheeda from Chuk no-3, District Gujrat, Pakistan . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Sheeda," Obama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Sheeda, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Basheera, my next door neighbor Karam Deen, and the entire kabaddi team from the village. That makes eight"

Obama paused. "I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"BLOODY Hell " said Sheeda. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Obama paused. "I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"BLOODY Hell " said Sheeda. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Sheeda called again.

"Mr. Obama, it is Sheeda, I'm calling from Chuk no-3 Gujrat, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Sheeda?" Obama asked.

"Well, we have two combines,
a donkey and Amjad's tractor."

Obama sighed. "I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army TWO MILLION!"

"Tera bhala hove ...." said Sheeda, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Sheeda called again the next day. "Mr. Obama! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Obama. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Sheeda, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of days and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners!!"

 

[Umair Nawaz]

Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Obama!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Sheeda from Chuk no-3, District Gujrat, Pakistan . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Sheeda," Obama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Sheeda, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Basheera, my next door neighbor Karam Deen, and the entire kabaddi team from the village. That makes eight"

Obama paused. "I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"BLOODY Hell " said Sheeda. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Obama paused. "I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"BLOODY Hell " said Sheeda. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Sheeda called again.

"Mr. Obama, it is Sheeda, I'm calling from Chuk no-3 Gujrat, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Sheeda?" Obama asked.

"Well, we have two combines,
a donkey and Amjad's tractor."

Obama sighed. "I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army TWO MILLION!"

"Tera bhala hove ...." said Sheeda, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Sheeda called again the next day. "Mr. Obama! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Obama. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Sheeda, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of days and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners!!"

This is called Fatman's Dry sense of humor..........

BTW, it was a nice joke.

 

[AhmadBilal]

What is main object in this thread???

 

[Rizwan Alam]

What is main object in this thread???

Good joke

 

[fatman17]

Two right wing Hindu Indians extremists boarded a flight out of London ..

One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.... Just before takeoff,a Pakistani army guy sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff, the Pakistani kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes in his socks, and was settling in when the Indian in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a Coke.'

Don't get up,' said the Pakistani, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

As soon as he left, one of the Indians picked up the Pakistani's shoes and spat in it.

When the Pakistani returned with the Coke, the other Indian said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.'

Again, the Pakistani obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Indian picked up his other shoe and spat in it.

When the Pakistani returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Pakistani slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Indian neighbors . ..

'Why does it have to be this way?'

'How long must this go on . . . ?

This fighting between our nations . . . ?

This hatred . . . ?

This animosity . . . ?


This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes .. . .. ?'

WHERE DID THE WHITE MAN GO WRONG???


TOUGH TO ARGUE WITH THIS ONE.

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.

Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex with wife.'


Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'