Joke

[U-571]

They start shouting together: "harder..louder...harder..louder...harder..louder".

i think only neo laughed himself for his joke and no one else did

 

[dr.umer]

i think only neo laughed himself for his joke and no one else did

Actually this is the first time I am seeing someone laughing at himself failing to understand a joke.

Joke posted by Neo was hilarious for those who understood it. Not everyones piece of cake...but...never mind.

 

[U-571]

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

- She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

- The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months!

- I don't like to interrupt her.

Why do men die before their wives?

- They want to.

 

[U-571]

Actually this is the first time I am seeing someone laughing at himself failing to understand a joke.

Joke posted by Neo was hilarious for those who understood it. Not everyones piece of cake...but...never mind.

yah i have understood it, by its kinda very boooring!!!!

i think, umer bahi is very booring personality,

 

[U-571]

Three girl friends have met up for their weekly meal together and are discussing their relationships.
One of them is engaged, one is a mistress and the other is married.

They decide that to try and surprise their men that night
all three will dress up in a leather S&M style bodice, red stilettos and a mask.

The next week they meet up again and compare their experiences.

The engaged girl says, ‘The other night, when my fiance came home, he found me in the leather bodice, the high red stilettos and mask covering my eyes. As soon as he
saw me he grabbed me saying “I love you” and carried me upstairs where we made love all night.’

The mistress says, ‘I went up to my lover’s hotel room where he was waiting for me and knocked on the door. I was wearing the leather bodice, the red stilettos, and the mask, with my fur coat on top. When I entered the room and dropped my coat to the floor, he said “Wow” and we made love all night.

The married girl say ‘Hmmph, I got myself dressed up the same as you two, leather bodice, red stilettos and mask over my eyes and waited for my husband to get home from work.”

“He opened the door, came in and said “Evening Batman, what’s for dinner?”

 

[U-571]

footbaal loovers ull love it!!!, its football theme made a music, by the way, rooney and ronaldo and alpay(turkish player) grabbed by one brazilian player and other appearing to kik his balls( not kiking football kiking his balls), and the clip of oliver khan were the best things here, other r good too!!

 

[cabatli_53]

Thanks broes...

 

[U-571]

lol watch this, saudi club football!!!

 

[Imran Khan]

گاؤں کا پیش امام
ایک شہری کسی گاؤں میں مہمان بن کر گیا۔ نماز کے وقت مہمان و میزبان نماز پڑھنے گاؤں کے مسجد میں گیے۔ نماز جب شروع ہوئی تو پیش امام نے ساری نماز غلط سلط پڑھی۔ نہ الفاظ صحیح تھے نہ حرکات و سکنات
واپسی پر مہمان نے میزبان سے کہا۔
مہمان: "آپ کے امام صاحب نے ساری نماز غلط پڑھی"
میزبان: عموماً تو ایسا نہیں ہوتا مگر جب نشے میں ہو تو پھر نماز میں چوک بھی جاتا ہے
مہمان: کیا؟؟؟؟؟ یہ نشہ کرتا ہے؟
میزبان: ارے نہیں۔ نشہ نہیں کرتا ۔ بس جب مجرا دیکھنے جاتا ہے۔ تو وہاں تھوڑی سی پی لیتا ہے۔
مہمان: لا حول ولا قوۃ۔ یعنی طوائف کے کوٹھے پر بھی جاتا ہے؟
میزبان: ہاں مگر صرف اس وقت جاتا ہے جب جوے میں کچھ کما لیتا ہے۔ورنہ ہر روز نہیں جاتا۔
مہمان کا منہ حیرت سے کھلا رہ گیا۔۔۔ اور کہا:
مہمان: تو جوا بھی کھیلتا ہے؟
میزبان: جوا کب کھیلتا ہے ۔ وہ تو چوری میں کچھ پیسہ ہاتھ آ جاتا ہے تو تھوڑی سی کھیل لیتا ہے۔
مہمان: کمال ہے۔ ایسے آدمی کو آپ نماز کے لئے آگے کر دیتے ہو۔

میزبان نے جواب دیا:

بھئی کیا کریں، اگر اس کو آگے نہ کریں تو پیچھے پھر جوتے چراتا ہے۔​

 

[jeypore]

i find this Indian ad very funny.

 

[Spring Onion]

‘A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping compartment of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top berth, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm feeling awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles. "Great,"

he replies, "Get your own damn blanket and do not disturb me!"

 

[Pk_Thunder]

A kid in bus sitting behind driver starts saying:if my dad was a bull and mom a cow,i would be a little bull.
Driver got mad at noisy kid,kid continues:if my dad was an elephant and mom a girl elephant i would be a little elephant.
kid goes on and on with many animals names when driver gets angry and said:What if your dad was cad and your mom was a prostitute?
Kid smiles and says:i would be a Bus Driver!!

 

[third eye]

After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama is still alive,' Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message:
370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice .
Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad.
Eventually they asked Indian Intelligence (CBI) for help.

Within a minute, CBI emailed the White House with this reply: 'Tell the President he's holding the message upside down. !!

 

[third eye]

Marc Faber comment on US economy :

Investment analyst and entrepreneur Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the Following:

'The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China .

If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs.

If we buy a computer it will go to India .

If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .

If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany .

If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer,
since these are the only products still produced in US !!

 

[dr.umer]

After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama is still alive,' Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message:
370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice .
Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad.
Eventually they asked Indian Intelligence (CBI) for help.

Within a minute, CBI emailed the White House with this reply: 'Tell the President he's holding the message upside down. !!

It was a good one.