Posted 07 May 2011 - 10:08 PM
St. Paul Pioneer Press (Minnesota)
Neocon Logic Makes India the Next Target for U.S. War
by Har N. Shukla
Now that we have established democracy in Afghanistan and soon will we accomplish that in Iraq after Sunday's elections, we must wage the next war in India for the following top 10 reasons:
1. India is linked to al-Qaida because its prime minister looks like Osama bin Laden. Actually, Osama is hiding in India in the garb of a Sikh, and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is protecting him in his home state Punjab. Also, India is a logical choice because its name starts with "I" and the world cannot accuse us of invading only Muslim countries.
2. India has weapons of mass destruction and is a constant threat to our key ally Pakistan. Pakistan's WMD are now benign because A.Q. Khan is under house arrest and can no longer indulge in nuclear proliferation.
3. India falsely accuses Pakistan of cross-border terrorism. We cannot believe India because Pakistan, a model democracy, is fighting the war on terrorism with us.
4. India boasts the largest democracy in the world. Actually, their democracy is phony. They have too many political parties and their parliament is in perpetual pandemonium. We must teach them real democracy and the virtues of a civilized two-party system.
5. Communists have ruled two of India's states, West Bengal and Kerala, for decades and successive Indian governments in New Delhi have done nothing to ban the Communist party. India is a socialist country, and it always supported the Soviet Union in the United Nations in the cold war era.
6. Women in India are not free; they still wear saris and put bindis on their foreheads. India is a weird country Hindus believe in many gods and reincarnation. They worship cows and don't eat beef. Civilization has not reached there yet.
7. India is now charging us more than the minimum U.S. wages for the outsourced programming jobs. How can we contain inflation in the United States if the Indians wildly increase their labor costs?
8. The Indian government is very slow in privatizing the public sector. The government is still in the business of running steel, oil, defense, insurance and banking industries. They are not opening up these industries fast enough for the American companies to invest.
9. Government jobs and college admissions are doled out based on the caste system in India. People of color in the USA are demanding the same treatment here in the name of affirmative action.
10. India has a bad influence on our Western culture: yoga is spreading like a wild fire and the Americans are increasingly using Sanskrit words such as pundit, guru and mantra to show off their vocabulary prowess.
Shukla of Shoreview, Minnesota immigrated to the United States from India. He is a real estate agent and retired engineer.