Bro, I am not asserting that your views do not have merit but you are overlooking different realities as well. Continue to read below.
Understand that the army of the living was also massive in size - 8 banners were involved in various capacities in total.
Winterfell was a large castle but not large enough to accommodate battlefield-relevant formations of a huge force within. A large number of men were stationed outside the castle before the dead arrived - you can notice this dynamic in episode 2. In fact, Sansa Stark pointed out that she wasn't equipped to provide for a huge force to begin with - refer to episode 1.
In the light of the above, the living had no choice but to establish battlefield-relevant formations of men outside the castle in the face of the expected battle. They chose to lay lot of traps and obstacles inside the castle and also a thick layer of obstacles outside the castle. But they had to factor-in the possibility of retreating behind the walls (if need be) before setting the outer layer of obstacles on fire.
Please understand that a purely defensive fight can/could also go wrong. Perhaps the living felt that the Dothraki horde would take a major bite out of the dead with a powerful charge (the horde was large enough to cut through a large force of men with ease), but the dead were absolutely fearless and deadly; the look on the face of the people at the sight of the Dothraki horde falling apart so easily was very telling. Daenerys lost her temper and decided to take matters into her hands soon after whereas many were like WTF (morale was apparently waning at this stage).
The dead charged next - and did you notice the sheer size of the first wave and the punch it packed? If it weren't for the dragons, even the initial wave of the dead would have cut down many of the living outside. Thanks to the dragons, a large number of men got the opportunity to retreat behind the walls.
Dude, you serious?
1. Army of the dead had about 100 lieutenants in total.
2. Visibility was very poor.
3. Daenerys and John were like miles away from the castle - bringing some men to this spot would have been inconsequential.
4. Daenerys and John were waiting for the Night King to show up but the latter proved smarter.
5. How would the living know that the Night King would choose to keep his lieutenants in the rear during the course of the assault of the dead on the living?
You are assuming too much.
Indeed but the Night King and his lieutenants were not taking the bait.
I do not disagree with this part, but see above.
I get the impression that the dead did not give Winterfell much time for preparations.
They might be short on oil at the time?
As I pointed out above, the living had no choice but to take their chances with the dead outside the castle, to reduce numbers of the dead and to kill the Night King if possible.
[1] Lack of space inside the castle for battlefield-relevant formations like in the outside.
[2] Lack of time for best possible preparations.
[3] The Dothraki could maneuver best out in the open; horses could provide mobility and speed.
[4] Numerous fire arrows were unloaded on the thick layer of obstacles outside the castle but stormy conditions prevented them from setting fire to the obstacles instead.
The dead managed to scale the walls by climbing over each other until the mass of reanimated bodies reached high enough from the surface for numerous reanimated bodies to get through. Not sure why this development irk you.
See above.
Night King's death in episode 3 make sense because how he would be stopped at a later stage?
