Anatomy of an apologist: A double-act play

[RAMPAGE]

Anatomy of an apologist: A double-act play - Blogs - DAWN.COM

Terrorist: We have just bombed a market to avenge the military's operation against us.

Outraged Man: You are an animal!

Apologist: Gentlemen, gentlemen, please, this is serious.

Outraged Man: You animal, you slaughtered innocent people!

Apologist: No, he didn't.

Terrorist: Yes, we did.

Outraged Man: You heard him. He said he did.

Apologist: Well, yes and no.

Outraged Man: What do you mean?

Terrorist: Yes, what do you mean?

Apologist: Well, yes the bombing they did was a condemnable act, but they didn't do it.

Outraged Man: But he just said he did, and even you said 'the bombing they did ...'

Apologist: Okay, let me rephrase it. The bombing was a condemnable act done by the enemies of our faith and the country.

Terrorist: You calling me an enemy of faith?

Apologist: No, I'm calling those who planted the bomb, the enemy.

Terrorist: But we planted the bomb, fool.

Apologist: No, you didn't.

Outraged Man: But he just said that he did.

Apologist: Well, yes and no.

Outraged Man: Are you deaf?

Terrorist: Don't call him deaf, infidel.

Outraged Man: Oh, so now you agree with him?

Terrorist: I agree that he is not deaf.

Outraged Man: But he says you didn't bomb that market.

Terrorist: Yes, we did. And we shall carry out more such attacks!

Apologist: Our brother is angry ...

Outraged Man: He's not my brother! How can you call him your brother?

Apologist: Because he is. We have misunderstood him. We need to guide him back from the wrong course he has taken ...

Terrorist: The heck you do. You are the ones on the wrong course. We will destroy that course by bombing it out of existence, like we bombed that market.

Apologist: No, you didn't.

Outraged Man: But he just said he did. You are deaf!

Terrorist: Don't call him deaf. And yes, I said we bombed that market.

Apologist: Gentlemen, gentlemen, both of you are being used by our enemies.

Terrorist: You are our enemy!

Apologist (discreetly pointing at the Outraged Man and whispering): No, no, he ... he is your enemy.

Outraged Man: I heard that! You hypocrite!

Terrorist: Don't call him a hypocrite, you hypocrite. Only I can call him a hypocrite.

Outraged Man: You are the biggest hypocrite there is. A reptile ...

Apologist: Gentlemen, gentlemen, can the both of you just sit together like two good patriots and talk things out? Let's give peace a chance, shall we?

Outraged Man: How can one talk peace with people who are hell-bent on destroying everything in their path?

Terrorist: Yes, we do destroy, for the greater good of the faith and the ...

Outraged Man: Oh, please, spare us your ill-informed and vile nonsense, you reptile!

Terrorist: You infidel and stooges of the West ...!

Apologist: He has a point.

Outraged Man: What?

Apologist: We are fighting them on the behest of the West, aren't we?

Outraged Man: So you are saying it is okay for them to slaughter our civilians, cops, politicians and soldiers?

Apologist: No, no, this is not what I am saying. I am saying that terrorism in our country is due to us trying to fight a war that is not our own.

Outraged Man: So thus it is okay to indulge in shameless bloodbaths?

Apologist: Our brothers are not responsible for this ...

Terrorist: Yes, we are!

Apologist: No, you aren't!

Outraged Man: He just said he is, you ostrich.

Terrorist: Don't call him an ostrich, you dog!

Outraged Man: Dogs at least have emotions, unlike snakes ...

Terrorist: You infidels, I'll blow you all!

Apologist (discretely pointing towards the Outraged Man and whispering): Him, him ... he's the dog ...

Outraged Man: I saw that! You both are one and the same.

Apologist: We don't want war. We want peace. Right, misguided brother?

Terrorist: I want pieces. Pieces of those who are stopping our path towards attaining a pious state and ...

Outraged Man: Oh, so you want to build your pious state with the innocent pieces of men, women and children?

Terrorist: They are not innocent. None of you are!

Apologist: Gentlemen, gentlemen ...

Outraged Man: Oh, shut up!

Terrorist: Don't tell him to shut up ...

Outraged Man: I wasn't. I was telling you to shut up.

Apologist: Don't tell him to shut up ...

Terrorist: Shut up! I'm wearing a suicide vest, infidel!

Apologist: No, no, you're not.

Terrorist: Yes, I am. Here, see.

Apologist: No, you're not.

Outraged Man: But he just said he was. Can't you see it? Are you blind?

Terrorist: Don't call him blind.

Apologist: He was forced to wear one.

Outraged Man: Oh, so you agree that he is wearing one ...

Apologist: No, I said he was forced to.

Terrorist: No, I wasn't. Nobody forced me to.

Apologist: Yes, you were ...

Outraged Man: Oh, for heaven’s sake ...

Terrorist: Yes, that's it.

Outraged Man: What?

Apologist: Gentlemen, gentlemen ...

Outrage Man: Oh, shut up ...

Terrorist: I said do not tell him to shut up (Boom! He explodes himself).

Outraged Man: cough cough See ... I ... I ... told you, he was ... was ... was wearing one ...

Apologist: cough cough Well ... I guess, he was ... But ... cough ... I don't think he was one of us ... I think he was foreign ...

Outraged Man: But you called him a brother. Are you mad?

Terrorist: cough ... cough ... don't ... don't .... don't call him mad ... (Passes away).

Act 2 (A week later):
Apologist: He was a martyr.

Outraged Man: Oh, so now you are calling him a martyr. What about those he slaughtered?

Apologist: They are martyrs as well. At least some of them.

Outraged Man: How can that be?

Apologist: Well, you see ...

(An army man comes in): We have decided to launch a full scale operation against the terrorists. (He leaves).

Apologist: Hmmm. Anyway, so as I was saying, you see, these terrorists are animals, reptiles, brutes, and we should support the army in crushing them!

Outraged Man: Oh, now they are animals?

Apologist: Yes ... foreign funded ... like you.

 

[RAMPAGE]

@Zarvan @Azad-Kashmiri

 

[DESERT FIGHTER]

@Zarvan @Azad-Kashmiri

I remember zarvan justifying suicide BOMBING not long ago...

Azad Kashmir lol he declares ppl kafir...

 

[RAMPAGE]

Azad Kashmir lol he declares ppl kafir...

Fake barelvi probably.

 

[Gunsnroses]

Lol...well, who is this apologist? Both NS and IK call them brothers.

 

[Lavrentiy]

Lol...well, who is this apologist? Both NS and IK call them brothers.

Fair enough; they are apologists.

But

What about those geniuses who came up with the idea of using non-state actors to create the infamous strategic depth in Afghanistan? Shouldn't guys like Hamid Gul stand trial in a Court Marshall?

 

[Zarvan]

I remember zarvan justifying suicide BOMBING not long ago...

Azad Kashmir lol he declares ppl kafir...

I never justified it I stand by what I said

Fake barelvi probably.

For your information Barelvis are always more active in declaring others kafirs giving them ticket of hell than any other sect. I was a barelvi before becoming salafi and I know their nature very well.

 

[Irfan Baloch]

Lol...well, who is this apologist? Both NS and IK call them brothers.

I recall the praise almost equal to Naa't and prayer written by Irfan Sadique (Nawaz' senior advisor) praise in name of Mullah Fazlullah of TTP. the khawajas of the party and people like abid sher ali etc are supporters of terrorists

For your information Barelvis are always more active in declaring others kafirs giving them ticket of hell than any other sect. I was a barelvi before becoming salafi and I know their nature very well.

sadly I have to agree
seen it in person I was also declared kafir by a Beralvi (although some members of my family are Berlavi too )

 

[Gunsnroses]

I recall the praise almost equal to Naa't and prayer written by Irfan Sadique (Nawaz' senior advisor) praise in name of Mullah Fazlullah of TTP. the khawajas of the party and people like abid sher ali etc are supporters of terrorists

Sir, what can one expect from the same chain of people who raised Quran on the spears saying Quran will decide who is on the right path ignoring who will interpret the very Quran (?) - while one of the best interpreters of Quran of their time and now was dwelling among them. From khawarij of Kufa to Raiwand to Najd the chain is same with little here and there variation - we all know that. Noon league, at least the elders, share the same concepts.

sadly I have to agree
seen it in person I was also declared kafir by a Beralvi (although some members of my family are Berlavi too )

Because of my beliefs I am labelled as Barelvi but Barelvis don't own me.... The difference is that Barelvis are lenient in blame games and have very less tendency of 'go kill the kafir' so you are lucky

 

[TankMan]

We want peace.

Terrorist: I want pieces.

Hilarious.
Yet sends an important message.

Fake barelvi probably.

Barelvis are always more active in declaring others kafirs giving them ticket of hell than any other sect.

seen it in person I was also declared kafir by a Beralvi (although some members of my family are Berlavi too )

I've been labelled a ''Wahabi Kafir'' by certain Barelvis for not agreeing with the prophecies and methods prescribed by certain Pirs more times than I can count. They tend to throw the term around very much, even though it shouldn't be used even for non-Muslims.

Most other sects are no better though.

 

[Irfan Baloch]

Hilarious.
Yet sends an important message.



I've been labelled a ''Wahabi Kafir'' by certain Barelvis for not agreeing with the prophecies and methods prescribed by certain Pirs more times than I can count. They tend to throw the term around very much, even though it shouldn't be used even for non-Muslims.

oh yea I am called a wahabi, grave worshipper, shia kafir, atheist , ahmedi etc so yea it all happens
depending on what i said or who was the audience. normally it was a given that expressing any grief for shias or ahmedis got me labelled immediately to those communities

 

[VCheng]

oh yea I am called a wahabi, grave worshipper, shia kafir, atheist , ahmedi etc so yea it all happens

At least those terms all apply to humans. I am a "thing" apparently, not even human.

 

[Irfan Baloch]

At least those terms all apply to humans. I am a "thing" apparently, not even human.

yes sir you are alone on that one

 

[TankMan]

I've been going through some of the comments on Dawn and it appears most people on there either misinterpret the satire or deliberately misrepresent certain arguments.

It is very important that we do not apologise for terrorists. But we must be careful so as to not throw the term around too much. Or else it will become another label, just like 'Kafir'.

Considering that this is actually written by Paracha Sahib, I wouldn't be surprised if he or his group of pseudo-Liberal followers tried to extrapolate this label of ''apologist'' onto all religious people, or onto the Tribals who are actually Pakistanis and not involved in terrorism.

Once we start labeling people apologists, It's a slippery slope.

But, obviously, actual apologists need to be called out.

I'd post this as a comment on Dawn, but none of my comments there ever gets approved. They have a very biased approval system that is usually only open to Indians or pseudo-Liberals.

 

[salarsikander]

I never justified it I stand by what I said

And what did you say? If I may ask