Why Can't Boys/Men Cry?

[Cookie Monster]

In a society like Pak, in times of stress or some calamity, families look up to the head of the household(a man). As the captain of the ship that man has to look strong and unshakable...and for him the solution usually is to shove his stresses, sadness and depression deep down into his heart and act like everything is perfectly fine...until he has a heart attack at 65.

 

[Hellraiser007]

Dude, if u got to feel how i felt in back then , you would advice me to go kill myself n get rid of life.

I also have gone through worse situations and troubles, but I some how ignored bad feelings and started concentrating on learning things.

I only advice you to concentrate on hobbies and learning things.

 

[Orca]

crying can be postponed to some other private time (which Pakistani men don't get that often).

Agreed sir but i would like to share my past practice, whenever I was broken I used washroom as a private place and cried as much as I can but in a silent way

 

[El Sidd]

This thread makes me wanna cry

 

[The Diplomat]

@Moonlight an interesting thread with some interesting replies.

Talking from my prospective and what I have seen over years; men do cry however either when their left by them self (left alone, in a quiet room) or when they are with someone they really trust. It’s natural to shed a tear once in a while however society see’s men as “strong” and therefor men usually refrain themselves from crying in front of other people.

I lost someone close to me a while back and I got the call when I was with my friend, I didn’t really cry in front of my friend however I did shed a few tears when I was at home, my friend did have a talk with me and kind of helped me back up. The point being that I was close to the friend that helped me get through such a time and I wasn’t really afraid of talking to him, to be honest I didn’t cry in front of him however I did let a few tears drop down when I got the news. And as a close friend he understood the importance the situation had for me, we don’t really talk about that when we meet because who wants to remember such sad stuff. Point to be noted, I was in a private place when I got the news (my friend’s house).

Well some do look at it from this perspective
In a tense situation you are expected to be the tall tree that endures the waves not the one that crumbles under heir pressure

Agreed, men have to act like the pressure cooker that can stand high levels of psi.
If your going to take the lead you must act strong.
If the person the family or friend looks upto for support starts crying, how are the people your comforting going to cope? They’ll be in a wreak alongside your self, making the situation 10X worse.

I only advice you to concentrate on hobbies and learning things.

Meet a friend for dinner, it usually diverts the tension you have. It’s probably the best solution I can think of.

 

[Burhan Wani]

This society has made things so hard for men when it comes to emotions. Why is that?
Crying in difficult times for men or boys don't make them weak. Is it the fault of this society as whole or the environment an individual is raised in play a role? I was reading a report on this and one psychologist stated, All their lives they were told, “Real men don’t cry,”. But I personally believe, only real men cry. Also, scientifically speaking, it's proven good to cry out for your health both emotional health and physical. It releases toxin from the body.

In another article I got read this, "From a physiological perspective, when humans get stressed there is an increase in adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH). Over time as this builds it leads to more stress that demands to be released." That is actually very scary. Severe depression at least once make the thought of killing yourself cross. Very unfortaunelty, many times people do attempt suicide.
Additionally, of you talk about class system, I have observed in middle or lower middle, let alone crying in depression, even crying on death if someone beloved to you is taken strangely. Men can't even cry on death of his wife, even that I have seen. They always get to hear, "mard bano" (be a man). That is so unfair.

This needs to be changed. It doesn't make you look weak a man. I would ask you all male members and my friends on this forum and visitors to manage the useless pressure of this society and do cry when your heart is heavy.

More power to you all.

@django @Zibago @Hell hound @The Sandman @Realistic Change @PakSword @Arsalan @abdulbarijan @RealNapster @The Diplomat @The Eagle @Sher Shah Awan @saiyan0321 @Silk @Burhan Wani & all others...

I talk too much but when my heart is heavy i stopped talking.
It is easy to cry when some one hurt your feelings but difficult to control at that specific moment. Last time i dropped tears due to wisdom teeth pain, It is most of the difficult time of my life.

 

[The Diplomat]

I talk too much but when my heart is heavy i stopped talking.
It is easy to cry when some one hurt your feelings but difficult to control at that specific moment. Last time i dropped tears due to wisdom teeth pain, It is most of the difficult time of my life.

So what happened with the tooth? Got it removed?
I haven’t got mine yet however I don’t really want it... Everyone seems to say how much it hurts.

I used to be scared of the dentist injections however now I go in as a pro, no injections are ruining my life...

 

[Burhan Wani]

So what happened with the tooth? Got it removed?
I haven’t got mine yet however I don’t really want it... Everyone seems to say how much it hurts.

I used to be scared of the dentist injections however now I go in as a pro, no injections are ruining my life...

Not yet.
I have same story as you have mentioned above. Wisdom teeth is the most useless thing in our body and it hurt you like someone is beating you baseball bat right on your head.

 

[fitpOsitive]

We are emotionally programmed in such a way....cant weep even...!

 

[RoadRunner401]

Oh please!!! every month when I get my credit card statement I cry

 

[The Diplomat]

Oh please!!! every month when I get my credit card statement I cry

Or when I see the amount of student loan I have left.
@Sher Shah Awan and @Garfield can probably relate.

 

[The Eagle]

This society has made things so hard for men when it comes to emotions. Why is that?
Crying in difficult times for men or boys don't make them weak. Is it the fault of this society as whole or the environment an individual is raised in play a role? I was reading a report on this and one psychologist stated, All their lives they were told, “Real men don’t cry,”. But I personally believe, only real men cry. Also, scientifically speaking, it's proven good to cry out for your health both emotional health and physical. It releases toxin from the body.

In another article I got read this, "From a physiological perspective, when humans get stressed there is an increase in adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH). Over time as this builds it leads to more stress that demands to be released." That is actually very scary. Severe depression at least once make the thought of killing yourself cross. Very unfortaunelty, many times people do attempt suicide.
Additionally, of you talk about class system, I have observed in middle or lower middle, let alone crying in depression, even crying on death if someone beloved to you is taken strangely. Men can't even cry on death of his wife, even that I have seen. They always get to hear, "mard bano" (be a man). That is so unfair.

This needs to be changed. It doesn't make you look weak a man. I would ask you all male members and my friends on this forum and visitors to manage the useless pressure of this society and do cry when your heart is heavy.

More power to you all.

@django @Zibago @Hell hound @The Sandman @Realistic Change @PakSword @Arsalan @abdulbarijan @RealNapster @The Diplomat @The Eagle @Sher Shah Awan @saiyan0321 @Silk @Burhan Wani & all others...

Well, speaking from society point of view, indeed it has been portrayed that a Man do not cry which in my understanding is not that never cry but the cry is being referred to weakness. From another point of view and my own understanding, I would like to say that actually Men do cry like woman but inside, controlling the tears as such are sign of weakness in some cases if popped in front of others. Men do cry internally for anything that goes beyond handling while physically appearing strong enough so that the situation can be contained. Tears are merely the one of the signs of cry but there are other things that I refer as a cry on different occasions. The stature of Men actually is being made a bit strong or one can say a stone heart w.r.t tears in the eyes thing as well as the cry in front of anyone.

By the way a famous quote: Mard ko dard nahi hota. Translation for other readers: Men never feels the pain.

 

[El Sidd]

By the way a famous quote: Mard ko dard nahi hota. Translation for other readers: Men never feels the pain.

This is some bullcrap logic to be honest specially coming from a male oriented society.

mard ko dard hota hai per uska dard koi samajh nahi sakta....

 

[The Diplomat]

This is some bullcrap logic to be honest specially coming from a male oriented society.

mard ko dard hota hai per uska dard koi samajh nahi sakta....

Maalik daiklo, quote ko smjjao gai

 

[Signalian]

I cry, sometimes daily.