Unrequited love/ one- sided love -The pain

[Zizou]

Well guys....i haev not recovered from the last relationship, it`s been 5 years...i dont know how to deal with it anymore but rather learned to live with it....you know

I was supposed to be engaged with this girl but too many tragedies occured in our path that rather strengthened our relationship in short period ...but for the worse later. first it was her parents divorce that literally crippled her family, and then a car accident in my family... and then my older sibs weddings and then mine all delayed and pretty much ruined our prospects

It was love at first sight. Not only from my side but also from her side the moment she stepped in our house in Canada. She totally blew away my mind the first time i saw her enter my house. Her family had recently moved into our neighbourhood and my mom invited her over for chai. I was barely 20 at the time and she was 17. It was not just an emotional physical attraction love-at-first-sight sorta thing, but one of mutual honesty and respect. I found tremendous respect for her within me blc she was not just an avg girl, she was very traditional and conservative in her appearance and attitude. She had honour and haya in her eyes that you rarely see in girls of today. Also unlike other girls, she is a beauty with brains, i was amazed that she knew so much about our religion and culture, and the fact that she could reason and argue on issues beyond her age, all made me respect her even more.

And a few conversations with her over the net, we were totally in love with each other. We both could not express it out of modestly or don`t know what, but later when i confessed, she shared her feelings, and replied in positive. and every time we met in family gatherings, her sparkalking eyes were a testimony to our true love.

Because of our love and respect for each other, we both grew intellectually and spiritually. she had embraced the hijab and i had grown the beard. We stopped our online conversations out of respect for religion. But in the meantime our love grew much stronger. infact the religious phase served as a catalyst to the love.

I have never touched this woman, we have never been in a physical one. this was true love. and honestly I don`t think true love exists anymore, all i see around is physical and emotional relationships. There's no respect for women in the hearts of contemporary men, and also women have completely lost respect for men.


But recently the last standing pillar of hope has fallen. There`s a less than 1 % chance ...and we have stopped talking as both of our families have stopped talking. the fact that she belongs to a divorced family and my parents can never get past that. they have some legitimate reasons, but how can you blame the child? My dad blames her crazy mom for the divorce, and reasons that girls usualy end up becoming like their mothers. Although i disagree with him but now my mom has also rejected her due to similar reasons.

I can't stop thinking about this girl and its been years. I'm sure she hasn't stopped thinking abotu me either. We still talk once in a while. but thats about it.

It's true love b/c she has not betrayed my trust and neither have i betrayed her trust. She has never looked at other men or dated even and neither have i. We're still both single. And honestly no idea how we could work things out without pissing off both of our families.

Very few people get a sense of true love in today's time.

Today's bf/gf relationships are animal like behaviourial bonds that lack depth and quality.. forget love.

Real Love is a sacred trust. If you truly love someone, Do not break it.

Sorry for boring you guys with my 18th century style love story haha

Sooooo Refreshing and touching .... Thank you yaar for sharing ... May Allah bless you both .... That is what true love really is ..... soo glad to hear it still exists .... though very rare but im sure it still exists in every corner of the world .... if the sky has not exploded and earth has not blown up herself is because people like 2 of you still exist ....

Coming to your story ... If both of you are single than of course there is hope .... There must be someone in her family or your family who is in support of this marriage ??? .... any talk of her marriage somewhere else ??? i guess she is living with her mom .... is there anyone who can act as a messenger between you 2 ??? ... ur or her younger sis perhaps ... you may think it is wrong but unless you both know what is happening on the other side, it is impossible to take a step forward .... without talking, all you can do is hope .... In any case, i would advise you not to give up and delay any talk of your own marriage with someone else for as long as she is single ....

Your love is pure and spiritual .... im very sure that if she is the right girl for you, Allah will reward you both for your patience and even if she is not, there is a reason for that which may be difficult to understand at first but with time you will understand .... May Allah bless you both .... Ameen

 

[REHAN NIAZI FALCON]

Well guys....i haev not recovered from the last relationship, it`s been 5 years...i dont know how to deal with it anymore but rather learned to live with it....you know

I was supposed to be engaged with this girl but too many tragedies occured in our path that rather strengthened our relationship in short period ...but for the worse later. first it was her parents divorce that literally crippled her family, and then a car accident in my family... and then my older sibs weddings and then mine all delayed and pretty much ruined our prospects

It was love at first sight. Not only from my side but also from her side the moment she stepped in our house in Canada. She totally blew away my mind the first time i saw her enter my house. Her family had recently moved into our neighbourhood and my mom invited her over for chai. I was barely 20 at the time and she was 17. It was not just an emotional physical attraction love-at-first-sight sorta thing, but one of mutual honesty and respect. I found tremendous respect for her within me blc she was not just an avg girl, she was very traditional and conservative in her appearance and attitude. She had honour and haya in her eyes that you rarely see in girls of today. Also unlike other girls, she is a beauty with brains, i was amazed that she knew so much about our religion and culture, and the fact that she could reason and argue on issues beyond her age, all made me respect her even more.

And a few conversations with her over the net, we were totally in love with each other. We both could not express it out of modestly or don`t know what, but later when i confessed, she shared her feelings, and replied in positive. and every time we met in family gatherings, her sparkalking eyes were a testimony to our true love.

Because of our love and respect for each other, we both grew intellectually and spiritually. she had embraced the hijab and i had grown the beard. We stopped our online conversations out of respect for religion. But in the meantime our love grew much stronger. infact the religious phase served as a catalyst to the love.

I have never touched this woman, we have never been in a physical one. this was true love. and honestly I don`t think true love exists anymore, all i see around is physical and emotional relationships. There's no respect for women in the hearts of contemporary men, and also women have completely lost respect for men.


But recently the last standing pillar of hope has fallen. There`s a less than 1 % chance ...and we have stopped talking as both of our families have stopped talking. the fact that she belongs to a divorced family and my parents can never get past that. they have some legitimate reasons, but how can you blame the child? My dad blames her crazy mom for the divorce, and reasons that girls usualy end up becoming like their mothers. Although i disagree with him but now my mom has also rejected her due to similar reasons.

I can't stop thinking about this girl and its been years. I'm sure she hasn't stopped thinking abotu me either. We still talk once in a while. but thats about it.

It's true love b/c she has not betrayed my trust and neither have i betrayed her trust. She has never looked at other men or dated even and neither have i. We're still both single. And honestly no idea how we could work things out without pissing off both of our families.

Very few people get a sense of true love in today's time.

Today's bf/gf relationships are animal like behaviourial bonds that lack depth and quality.. forget love.

Real Love is a sacred trust. If you truly love someone, Do not break it.

Sorry for boring you guys with my 18th century style love story haha

chor yar jo hoea so hoea .....
wapis ti nehi aane wala ..so just chill ..... best wishes to you

 

[Durrak]

per girls ko yahan tak lane wala kon hota hai aur jab innocent girl apki batao pe believe krne lag jati hai tou ap ko koi aur pasand ajati hai esa q hota hai ya ap log esa q krte ho ??

huda g ap 1 sided baat kr rhi hen agr 99 per lrkian innocen hti hen tou 1 per sharp bhi hti hen

 

[Huda]

Well guys....i haev not recovered from the last relationship, it`s been 5 years...i dont know how to deal with it anymore but rather learned to live with it....you know

I was supposed to be engaged with this girl but too many tragedies occured in our path that rather strengthened our relationship in short period ...but for the worse later. first it was her parents divorce that literally crippled her family, and then a car accident in my family... and then my older sibs weddings and then mine all delayed and pretty much ruined our prospects

It was love at first sight. Not only from my side but also from her side the moment she stepped in our house in Canada. She totally blew away my mind the first time i saw her enter my house. Her family had recently moved into our neighbourhood and my mom invited her over for chai. I was barely 20 at the time and she was 17. It was not just an emotional physical attraction love-at-first-sight sorta thing, but one of mutual honesty and respect. I found tremendous respect for her within me blc she was not just an avg girl, she was very traditional and conservative in her appearance and attitude. She had honour and haya in her eyes that you rarely see in girls of today. Also unlike other girls, she is a beauty with brains, i was amazed that she knew so much about our religion and culture, and the fact that she could reason and argue on issues beyond her age, all made me respect her even more.

And a few conversations with her over the net, we were totally in love with each other. We both could not express it out of modestly or don`t know what, but later when i confessed, she shared her feelings, and replied in positive. and every time we met in family gatherings, her sparkalking eyes were a testimony to our true love.

Because of our love and respect for each other, we both grew intellectually and spiritually. she had embraced the hijab and i had grown the beard. We stopped our online conversations out of respect for religion. But in the meantime our love grew much stronger. infact the religious phase served as a catalyst to the love.

I have never touched this woman, we have never been in a physical one. this was true love. and honestly I don`t think true love exists anymore, all i see around is physical and emotional relationships. There's no respect for women in the hearts of contemporary men, and also women have completely lost respect for men.


But recently the last standing pillar of hope has fallen. There`s a less than 1 % chance ...and we have stopped talking as both of our families have stopped talking. the fact that she belongs to a divorced family and my parents can never get past that. they have some legitimate reasons, but how can you blame the child? My dad blames her crazy mom for the divorce, and reasons that girls usualy end up becoming like their mothers. Although i disagree with him but now my mom has also rejected her due to similar reasons.

I can't stop thinking about this girl and its been years. I'm sure she hasn't stopped thinking abotu me either. We still talk once in a while. but thats about it.

It's true love b/c she has not betrayed my trust and neither have i betrayed her trust. She has never looked at other men or dated even and neither have i. We're still both single. And honestly no idea how we could work things out without pissing off both of our families.

Very few people get a sense of true love in today's time.

Today's bf/gf relationships are animal like behaviourial bonds that lack depth and quality.. forget love.

Real Love is a sacred trust. If you truly love someone, Do not break it.

Sorry for boring you guys with my 18th century style love story haha

sorry to say about it seems like a novel story

 

[FireFighter]

chor yar jo hoea so hoea .....
wapis ti nehi aane wala ..so just chill ..... best wishes to you

thanks bro...easier said than done haha, honestly i don't know how to forget her...her pic is engraved on my heart and i don't know how to get rid of her

Sooooo Refreshing and touching .... Thank you yaar for sharing ... May Allah bless you both .... That is what true love really is ..... soo glad to hear it still exists .... though very rare but im sure it still exists in every corner of the world .... if the sky has not exploded and earth has not blown up herself is because people like 2 of you still exist ....

Coming to your story ... If both of you are single than of course there is hope .... There must be someone in her family or your family who is in support of this marriage ??? .... any talk of her marriage somewhere else ??? i guess she is living with her mom .... is there anyone who can act as a messenger between you 2 ??? ... ur or her younger sis perhaps ... you may think it is wrong but unless you both know what is happening on the other side, it is impossible to take a step forward .... without talking, all you can do is hope .... In any case, i would advise you not to give up and delay any talk of your own marriage with someone else for as long as she is single ....

Your love is pure and spiritual .... im very sure that if she is the right girl for you, Allah will reward you both for your patience and even if she is not, there is a reason for that which may be difficult to understand at first but with time you will understand .... May Allah bless you both .... Ameen

thanks bro...really appreciate your input...i have been trying hard but the way things are going, it seems quite impossible to change my parents minds.

they have all sorts of reasons against her parents...it's really hard to change my parents mind about it. they say its not just her that i'll be dealing with after marriage but her whole family...thats why i have been reluctant in pursuing this any further...

sorry to say about it seems like a novel story

haha yeah, but what do the kids know about love these days

this whole bf/gf breakup culture is not ours, it has nothing to do with our culture and traditions, and the kids these days mindlessly following it lose it

I just find it quite ridiculous honestly...whats the point of being in a relationship esp physical if you know you're not going to be married to that person....whats the difference between animals that move on constantly and us human beings then?

 

[JonAsad]

Well guys....i haev not recovered from the last relationship, it`s been 5 years...i dont know how to deal with it anymore but rather learned to live with it....you know

I was supposed to be engaged with this girl but too many tragedies occured in our path that rather strengthened our relationship in short period ...but for the worse later. first it was her parents divorce that literally crippled her family, and then a car accident in my family... and then my older sibs weddings and then mine all delayed and pretty much ruined our prospects

It was love at first sight. Not only from my side but also from her side the moment she stepped in our house in Canada. She totally blew away my mind the first time i saw her enter my house. Her family had recently moved into our neighbourhood and my mom invited her over for chai. I was barely 20 at the time and she was 17. It was not just an emotional physical attraction love-at-first-sight sorta thing, but one of mutual honesty and respect. I found tremendous respect for her within me blc she was not just an avg girl, she was very traditional and conservative in her appearance and attitude. She had honour and haya in her eyes that you rarely see in girls of today. Also unlike other girls, she is a beauty with brains, i was amazed that she knew so much about our religion and culture, and the fact that she could reason and argue on issues beyond her age, all made me respect her even more.

And a few conversations with her over the net, we were totally in love with each other. We both could not express it out of modestly or don`t know what, but later when i confessed, she shared her feelings, and replied in positive. and every time we met in family gatherings, her sparkalking eyes were a testimony to our true love.

Because of our love and respect for each other, we both grew intellectually and spiritually. she had embraced the hijab and i had grown the beard. We stopped our online conversations out of respect for religion. But in the meantime our love grew much stronger. infact the religious phase served as a catalyst to the love.

I have never touched this woman, we have never been in a physical one. this was true love. and honestly I don`t think true love exists anymore, all i see around is physical and emotional relationships. There's no respect for women in the hearts of contemporary men, and also women have completely lost respect for men.


But recently the last standing pillar of hope has fallen. There`s a less than 1 % chance ...and we have stopped talking as both of our families have stopped talking. the fact that she belongs to a divorced family and my parents can never get past that. they have some legitimate reasons, but how can you blame the child? My dad blames her crazy mom for the divorce, and reasons that girls usualy end up becoming like their mothers. Although i disagree with him but now my mom has also rejected her due to similar reasons.

I can't stop thinking about this girl and its been years. I'm sure she hasn't stopped thinking abotu me either. We still talk once in a while. but thats about it.

It's true love b/c she has not betrayed my trust and neither have i betrayed her trust. She has never looked at other men or dated even and neither have i. We're still both single. And honestly no idea how we could work things out without pissing off both of our families.

Very few people get a sense of true love in today's time.

Today's bf/gf relationships are animal like behaviourial bonds that lack depth and quality.. forget love.

Real Love is a sacred trust. If you truly love someone, Do not break it.

Sorry for boring you guys with my 18th century style love story haha

Falling in Love is the most easiest thing in the whole world..
But Keeping it, standing for it, fighting for it, is the most difficult thing to do..
I am sorry to say you have miserably failed the later.


Its not her fault, its completely your fault. Talking about her being traditional and conservative, she will not be able to make a stand for you or herself because of her beliefs, her sharam, her haya, being a Man you will have to do something yourself. The true love you are talking about, whats the use of it if you cannot stand for the one you truly love?

If you loose her you are the only one at blame sir.
Maybe i sound a little bit harsh, but this is not the reason the thread was made for, to share your failed love story because you did not have the courage and guts to stand for your love.

You live in canada its a open liberal society, if religion is what stopping you from taking a stand against your parents (not in a sense that you dis obey, or dis owe them) then you should have not fallen in love in the first place, now since you are in love you have to fight for it, fight for something which is yours, fight for your right, Islam teaches us that aswell.

And do discuss with your parents that our Holy Prophet (PBUH) has himself married a divorced women, if it was not a problem for our beloved Prophet, then which version of Islam gave them the right to label a divorced women faulty and her daughter not good for marriage.

And please, you love story is not complete yet.. It will be completed either if you loose her for good or you marry her, which ending you want, it totally depends on you and your determination and ofcourse on the so called true love you are talking about.

they have all sorts of reasons against her parents...it's really hard to change my parents mind about it. they say its not just her that i'll be dealing with after marriage but her whole family...thats why i have been reluctant in pursuing this any further...

True Love.. eh.. maybe only she had it for you

thanks bro...easier said than done haha, honestly i don't know how to forget her...her pic is engraved on my heart and i don't know how to get rid of her

Dont try to forget her or get rid of her, she is Alive, Breathing (alhamdolillah) and most importantly in love with you.
Why in the hell you are letting some one stand between you two?
Thats the ugliest reason for a breakup you gona have.

Read jagjit's post on his love and his determination, he is even willing to "chuk k lay awan ga onu" for God forbade worst case scenario.

 

[rohailmalhi]

Falling in Love is the most easiest thing in the whole world..
But Keeping it, standing for it, fighting for it, is the most difficult thing to do..
I am sorry to say you have miserably failed the later.


Its not her fault, its completely your fault. Talking about her being traditional and conservative, she will not be able to make a stand for you or herself because of her beliefs, her sharam, her haya, being a Man you will have to do something yourself. The true love you are talking about, whats the use of it if you cannot stand for the one you truly love?

If you loose her you are the only one at blame sir.
Maybe i sound a little bit harsh, but this is not the reason the thread was made for, to share your failed love story because you did not have the courage and guts to stand for your love.

You live in canada its a open liberal society, if religion is what stopping you from taking a stand against your parents (not in a sense that you dis obey, or dis owe them) then you should have not fallen in love in the first place, now since you are in love you have to fight for it, fight for something which is yours, fight for your right, Islam teaches us that aswell.

And do discuss with your parents that our Holy Prophet (PBUH) has himself married a divorced women, if it was not a problem for our beloved Prophet, then which version of Islam gave them the right to label a divorced women faulty and her daughter not good for marriage.

And please, you love story is not complete yet.. It will be completed either if you loose her for good or you marry her, which ending you want, it totally depends on you and your determination and ofcourse on the so called true love you are talking about.



True Love.. eh.. maybe only she had it for you



Dont try to forget her or get rid of her, she is Alive, Breathing (alhamdolillah) and most importantly in love with you.
Why in the hell you are letting some one stand between you two?
Thats the ugliest reason for a breakup you gona have.

Read jagjit's post on his love and his determination, he is even willing to "chuk k lay awan ga onu" for God forbade worst case scenario.

I think u are Muslim and jagjit is not so there is i think difference being a muslim and being non muslim .

I think Fire Fighter u should, do the istakhara for her and if it is good then get your parents to it and pray to Allah that ur parents agree for ur marriage , and i think u should not ever disobey your parents but u should keep asking them till they agree with you .

My 2 cents nothing more.

May Allah help u in getting what is better for u and ur parents. Inshaallah.

 

[sergente rehan]

You did a wonderful thing .... these things matter a lot to girls ... if you remember their preferences, things she like, things she said ... they like to be appreciated and feel important ... and by now she most probably has a very good idea of your feelings .. now it all depends if aag doosri janib bhi lagi hai k nahin ... stay ready now ... wont be that hard to judge ...

Your case is affection but the moment she says "YES", it will turn into love .... and if it does, i wish you all the best but looking at the circumstances surrounding you, you may soon be joining Dil-Jaley club just like most of us here .....

Thanks for the positive remark buddy! but now i'm getting a bit worry....damn day by day my feelings are becoming more intense...don't know how to describe; it's a strange feeling, AIK BAICHAINY SI HO GAY HAI!!!! can't understand what's going on

 

[JonAsad]

I think u are Muslim and jagjit is not so there is i think difference being a muslim and being non muslim.

The only difference is the Religion, nothing else. BTW we are talking about Love here, even animals love.. do you think animals have religions?

I think Fire Fighter u should, do the istakhara for her and if it is good then get your parents to it and pray to Allah that ur parents agree for ur marriage , and i think u should not ever disobey your parents but u should keep asking them till they agree with you.

I agree with you with istakhara part, being Muslims istakhara should have been the only scale to measure if she was right for him or not. But as he has said it, there are others reasons his parents disaprove her and this is where the disagrement is. According to islam You cannot disobey your parents, but according to same islam children have every right to chose whome they want to marry, its just not the parents consent that is required, but it is important.

May Allah help him in getting what is better for him and his parents. Inshaallah.

Ameen to that

 

[Mani2020]

Well guys....i haev not recovered from the last relationship, it`s been 5 years...i dont know how to deal with it anymore but rather learned to live with it....you know

I was supposed to be engaged with this girl but too many tragedies occured in our path that rather strengthened our relationship in short period ...but for the worse later. first it was her parents divorce that literally crippled her family, and then a car accident in my family... and then my older sibs weddings and then mine all delayed and pretty much ruined our prospects

It was love at first sight. Not only from my side but also from her side the moment she stepped in our house in Canada. She totally blew away my mind the first time i saw her enter my house. Her family had recently moved into our neighbourhood and my mom invited her over for chai. I was barely 20 at the time and she was 17. It was not just an emotional physical attraction love-at-first-sight sorta thing, but one of mutual honesty and respect. I found tremendous respect for her within me blc she was not just an avg girl, she was very traditional and conservative in her appearance and attitude. She had honour and haya in her eyes that you rarely see in girls of today. Also unlike other girls, she is a beauty with brains, i was amazed that she knew so much about our religion and culture, and the fact that she could reason and argue on issues beyond her age, all made me respect her even more.

And a few conversations with her over the net, we were totally in love with each other. We both could not express it out of modestly or don`t know what, but later when i confessed, she shared her feelings, and replied in positive. and every time we met in family gatherings, her sparkalking eyes were a testimony to our true love.

Because of our love and respect for each other, we both grew intellectually and spiritually. she had embraced the hijab and i had grown the beard. We stopped our online conversations out of respect for religion. But in the meantime our love grew much stronger. infact the religious phase served as a catalyst to the love.

I have never touched this woman, we have never been in a physical one. this was true love. and honestly I don`t think true love exists anymore, all i see around is physical and emotional relationships. There's no respect for women in the hearts of contemporary men, and also women have completely lost respect for men.


But recently the last standing pillar of hope has fallen. There`s a less than 1 % chance ...and we have stopped talking as both of our families have stopped talking. the fact that she belongs to a divorced family and my parents can never get past that. they have some legitimate reasons, but how can you blame the child? My dad blames her crazy mom for the divorce, and reasons that girls usualy end up becoming like their mothers. Although i disagree with him but now my mom has also rejected her due to similar reasons.

I can't stop thinking about this girl and its been years. I'm sure she hasn't stopped thinking abotu me either. We still talk once in a while. but thats about it.

It's true love b/c she has not betrayed my trust and neither have i betrayed her trust. She has never looked at other men or dated even and neither have i. We're still both single. And honestly no idea how we could work things out without pissing off both of our families.

Very few people get a sense of true love in today's time.

Today's bf/gf relationships are animal like behaviourial bonds that lack depth and quality.. forget love.

Real Love is a sacred trust. If you truly love someone, Do not break it.

Sorry for boring you guys with my 18th century style love story haha

I know thats not her fault but your father has legitimate reason for that believe you me i suffered from samething but the difference was my parents never had any problem with my ex-gf mother's past.They always said that we have nothing to do what her mom did because we can't blame the girl for that.Also my parents are not conservative like most in Pakistan ,they are pretty broad minded and never had problem with my gf mother's past ( which was quite weird and disastrous) i too thought that if her mother is like that ,it doesnot mean that she should also be like her mother as she always use to talk to me in very calm and respected manner but u know what? After 3 years she started to show her true color and that was same like her mother ,then i realized that she was quite change from her mother in start of our relationship because she was too young then and usually young ones don't care about anything but then gradually when she started to grow she started following path of her mother ,and the girl i ever considered innocent,caring and different from her mother turned out to be a monster after three years when finally she dumped me and after our break-up i came to know how much she lied to me during this time ,she had contacts with every boy with whom i refrained her from talking .i realized that what she was in 3 years was just apparent and this is real one. i cried for 3 months ,pleaded and did everything to request her to get back but in vain and all i got was heartache .

Believe me never marry a girl with such fluctuating past.Its biological reality that genes are from parents to off-spring and the child has similarities with parents and that is inherited you can't change it.also her mother is the one who brought her up so obviously she will follow the guidelines told by her mother . You will be better off without her in long-run ,i know i may sound weird and cruel but thats the brutal truth .Kill me for that but the reality will not change .i have suffered from same thing and keep one thing in mind a person's unmarried behavior is always different from his behavior after marriage.A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship specially in the one like yours there are always some formalities and hidden truth which you only get to know after marriage.Today she might be every nice thing to you but in future may be a spoiler like her mother.You can't stop yourself loving someone but its always better to hurt yourself for few years compare to hurting yourself till the last moment of death.

Sorry dude for sounding pathetic

 

[Zizou]

Thanks for the positive remark buddy! but now i'm getting a bit worry....damn day by day my feelings are becoming more intense...don't know how to describe; it's a strange feeling, AIK BAICHAINY SI HO GAY HAI!!!! can't understand what's going on

Abhi aaghaz-e-mohabbat hai, rota hai kya ...
Aaagey aagey dekh hota hai kya ...

 

[Zizou]

I know thats not her fault but your father has legitimate reason for that believe you me i suffered from samething but the difference was my parents never had any problem with my ex-gf mother's past.They always said that we have nothing to do what her mom did because we can't blame the girl for that.Also my parents are not conservative like most in Pakistan ,they are pretty broad minded and never had problem with my gf mother's past ( which was quite weird and disastrous) i too thought that if her mother is like that ,it doesnot mean that she should also be like her mother as she always use to talk to me in very calm and respected manner but u know what? After 3 years she started to show her true color and that was same like her mother ,then i realized that she was quite change from her mother in start of our relationship because she was too young then and usually young ones don't care about anything but then gradually when she started to grow she started following path of her mother ,and the girl i ever considered innocent,caring and different from her mother turned out to be a monster after three years when finally she dumped me and after our break-up i came to know how much she lied to me during this time ,she had contacts with every boy with whom i refrained her from talking .i realized that what she was in 3 years was just apparent and this is real one. i cried for 3 months ,pleaded and did everything to request her to get back but in vain and all i got was heartache .

Believe me never marry a girl with such fluctuating past.Its biological reality that genes are from parents to off-spring and the child has similarities with parents and that is inherited you can' change it.also her mother is the one who brought her up so obviously she will follow the guidelines told by her mother . You will be better off without her in long-run ,i know i may sound weird and cruel but thats the brutal truth .Kill me for that but the reality will not change .i have suffered from same thing and keep one thing in mind a person's unmarried behavior is always different from his behavior after marriage.Today she might be every nice thing to you but in future may be a spoiler like her mother.

Sorry dude for sounding pathetic

Nah bro, i don't agree with you and that was by mistake .... You are saying that from your own experience only ... Yes, what you said is often the case but that doesn't mean it is always the case ....

@JonAsad .... You are right that he needs to stand up for his love and do something coz it is very obvious, she won't be able to do much but disobeying the parents and chuk k ley aanra is not right .... if he gets her without the approval of his parents than he will have to live away from his parents and that is just not right ...

Istekhara is important and as you said you are a very religious person, you should do it first thing and than find someone in ur family or her family whom you can trust and is in support of this marriage .... Start talking .... Allah help those who help themselves ....

 

[H2O3C4Nitrogen]

Usually in Pakistan the person you love are rejected by your parents...! So its kind of hard to get along with your choice, some dare to stick to there relationship but some couldn't , and its really hard to get along once after a break up. Even if you are with another girl , your mind by default keeps comparing her with the one you love ... !

 

[Mani2020]

Nah bro, i don't agree with you and that was by mistake .... You are saying that from your own experience only ... Yes, what you said is often the case but that doesn't mean it is always the case ....
....

Obviously everyone has his/her own experience and one can only advice others based on his personal experience,and that was mine so i advised her with regard to what i suffered and what i felt .May be he has different opinion.

Everyone has his/her own opinion one can agree or disagree according to his mind-set,but to me that is what mostly happens because of inherited things and brought up

 

[Majnun]

JonAsad, why r u trying to bring memories that took me 20 years to burry, never the less if u insist.

MY LOVE STORY OR U CAN SAY LOVE DISASTER.

I was Medical College Student about 22 or 23 years old, and she was next door girl about 26 or 27 years. We used sit on roof top and chat for hours sometime's.

Allah forgive me but i virtually worshiped her, she was so delicate and beautiful and trumendous sense of humor. OH God i miss her.

Back to reality, her father got this proposal from some where of VP of Habib bank, i was just a college student so there was no contest.

Her mother knew about us but kept quit coz of her husbands temper.

She was very well brought up (Mashriki ladki) so she said YES to this proposal that her father favoured, but she was very upset.

The day she got engaged to this guy, after all ceremonies finished she came up to roof and called me, i sat beside her and she apologised and wept like hell but i said no problem we were not destined for each other ( inside i was dying ).

3 months later she got married to this guy, i took extra care during these 3 month to distance myself from her but she didnt allowed.

She said if u go away i will not be able to go through this, so stay put.

Guys she did her entire wedding shopping with me, even she bought her wedding dress on my advice.

But she was so attached to me mentally and emotionally, that after Rukhsati she refused her husband physical contact.

Things got worse on 3rd day of marrige,when her husband brought her back to her home and asked her parents to keep her for good.

There was nightmare in there house that day. Her father was going through the roof.

I didnt had a clue what was happening next door, coz my exams where on.

All of a sudden her mother came to my house and asked my mom to help solve this problem.

I was in my room upstairs, when these two ladies came in and looked at me as if i have committed a henious crime.

I said WHAT, they say fix it or u be perpare for the aftermath, guys i was shocked and didnt knew what to do, her father was a retired DIG and had all kinds of ammo and even my own mother was upset with me.

I said can i talk to her alone, first her mother said imposible, than she said after her father leave for evening walk than u can talk to her but only infront of me. I said than it wont work pls give some private space with her, she reluctantly agreed.

So that evening i went to her own room with her mother's consent (what an irony).

When i went in she was already soak in tears to the toe nail. I said hi she said buy, i tried to hide my actual feelings and said icecream, she looked at me and said Ok, so i went out and bought this 1 liter IGLOO box of her favorite Venila icecream and put 2 spoons in it and we eat without saying a word to each other.

After some time i said to her, dont do this i cant takecare of you coz iam just a student and ur family will never allow it coz it will put bad light on ur two younger sister's.

So lets say good buy to each other coz i never was that much inlove with you ( i was lying through my teeths ) so lets honour each other parents decisions.

She looked at me for 10 minutes and said leave before i hit you with something, and i left never to see her till this day ( she took something with her that day My Heart and she still has it ).

She has 2 sons and 1 beautiful daughter.

One of her son's is my friend on FaceBook and he has no idea who am i, he just think of me as one of 500 hundred friends he has on FB.

JonAsad u happy now.

Touching story. Very touching. Aisi khubsurat kahani bohot din se kisi se nai suni hai.