Unrequited love/ one- sided love -The pain

[JonAsad]

asad agar tum apne ous break-up k hisab se bat kar rahay ho tau woh break-up nahi tha it was kind of a fight and narazgi ,break-up aur naraz honay ma bohat faraq hota ha ,also in your case you were in Nikkah so being in Nikkah and without beingin Nikkah there is a difference hell lotof difference

Sir Ji, yh baat mein nay apnay nikkah say pehlay k experiences ko made nazar rakh k ki thi.. mera bachpan say to nikkah nai hua na, yh woh baat thi jo mein nay feel ki nikkah say pehlay, or inhi experiences ki wajah say baat nikkah tk pohonchi hai na. Nikkah k bad jo kuch hota hai woh totally different league hai.. i know... lol

He is right to some extent k once you break-up and then make-up there is not the same charm.obviously there was a reason due to which you broke up on first and making-up doesn't necessarily mean that you still have a charm and spark most of the time it has lot to do with addat.

For -example if you smoke you may want to get rid of smoking one day as you know its not good for you and one day you tell yourself that ok i m going to quit smoking you try for 4 days not to smoke but on 5th day you feel a dire need to smoke and even not willing to but still you start smoking again.so what does it mean? will it mean that you have love and charm for smoking or will that mean although you hate smoking and want to quit it but still because of your habbit (adat) you can't

Lol.. man it has nothing to do with 'Addat' there is no compulsion in it. Once the charm or spark has gone.. you dont have to be together because of 'Addat'.
I agree with the first part, if it has gone, its gone.. Its over.. I disagree with the later part.. Once you guys are willing to be together again.. then this is where the spark kicks in..
Almost all the breaks up happen when the charm is lost, the value, the uderstanding is gone.. but all the patch up happen because we believe we can re create it, we can still work it out... The willingness of being together again is Love my friend not Addat.

and the Smoking Example is irrelevant here.
Even i smoke heavily.. but i never loved it.. Its purely an addiction.

 

[Mani2020]

Sir Ji, yh baat mein nay apnay nikkah say pehlay k experiences ko made nazar rakh k ki thi.. mera bachpan say to nikkah nai hua na, yh woh baat thi jo mein nay feel ki nikkah say pehlay, or inhi experiences ki wajah say baat nikkah tk pohonchi hai na. Nikkah k bad jo kuch hota hai woh totally different league hai.. i know... lol

lol so you mean before your nikkah you also faced break-ups .was that with the same girl who by the way is now your wife or anyother girl was there

and the Smoking Example is irrelevant here.
Even i smoke heavily.. but i never loved it.. Its purely an addiction

.

Exactly thats what i tried to say ,that many times the things you do are not because you love them or have charm for them rather for other factors

 

[JonAsad]

lol so you mean before your nikkah you also faced break-ups .was that with the same girl who by the way is now your wife or anyother girl was there

Sir Ji, its always the same story before marriage and mine is no different.. lol

Exactly thats what i tried to say ,that many times the things you do are not because you love them or have charm for them rather for other factors

I agree, but you cannot corelate them with Love in a relationship.
The only other factor i can think of is external pressure from parents, or if you made the girl pregnant or sm thing.. lol.. Then you'll have to be together

 

[Mani2020]

@jonasad
your wife is the only girl whom you have relationship with before nikkah or with other girls as well before her?

and for how much time you both were apart during break-up?

 

[ice_man]

@ice_man

how many break-ups do you have? and be honest

hahaha bro 4....one i wanted her back never came back one did....and the one who did it was never the same with her.....and the one who didn't it was never a closure hence i still miss her

lekin abb woh ek bachay ki maa hai FML!

the other two were just winter love

 

[DESERT FIGHTER]

Looks like every nakaam ashiq is present on this forum.

 

[cipla]

Looks like every nakaam ashiq is present on this forum.

And those also who wants to run away from biwi find solace here.

 

[Mani2020]

@ice_man

the one who came back, after how much time she came back? and how long the relationship was before break-up? and how long did it work out after getting back?

 

[ice_man]

Looks like every nakaam ashiq is present on this forum.

bro all pakistanis are naqaam aashiq!! it is evident from our songs too for example:

1) ATIF ASLAM: TERAY BIN

2) 82 ROKCERS: CHAAR DINOO KAA PYAR O RABAA

3) TOU PHIR AAO MUJHKO SATAAO

pakistani men love depression and failed love! we enjoy tragedy!

 

[rohailmalhi]

We shouldnt be falling in love at the first place. See we all act on the western things and where we all end up with , just pain and more pain .

Allah (S.W.T) guide us on the right path and let us forget our pain.

 

[Mabs]

A year- long relationship, we broke up,she got married,had a kid and unfortunately/fortunately I still get to see her because we go to the same university. Can it get any more melodramatic and NO, i am not making it up.

 

[JonAsad]

We shouldnt be falling in love at the first place. See we all act on the western things and where we all end up with , just pain and more pain .

Allah (S.W.T) guide us on the right path and let us forget our pain.

Ameen.

Now tell me where in Islam it's written, that falling in Love before marriage is Haram? or Love Marriage is Firbidden?

Enlighten me

 

[Imran Khan]

zindgi jaber e musalsal ki trah kati hai jany kis jurm ki pai hai saza yaad.

 

[Mabs]

^^^
Falling is love is definitely not Haram, but falling in Love and acting like you are married, surely is. I can dig up loads of references but lets not bring religion into this.

Lets keep it casual guys.

 

[REHAN NIAZI FALCON]

@Rehan niazi

yeah i know.so how long was your relationship?

5 years man........ from 1st day in college till final prof before she rejected my proposal..... i had a very sincere and innocent love for her but she made fun of my feelings, it was really painful but i still pray for her that where ever and with who ever she live she be happy because true love is to see your loved one happy......
two things really hurt me when i look back in past 1) when i was declared unfit for flying by CMB and 2) her broke up rather rejection