Top 10 incredibly stupid things Pakistani politicians said in 2016

[Devil Soul]

Top 10 incredibly stupid things Pakistani politicians said in 2016
By Sunehra Mehmood / Design: Nabeel Ahmed
Published: December 28, 2016
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So, you think only Donald Trump said some pretty weird stuff this year? If so, then it might be time to refresh your memory. Pakistani politicians have said their share of incredibly dumb things in 2016. And interestingly enough, most times, they didn’t even realise it.
Disclaimer: We did NOT make this up.

1. Sindh govt converting province into ‘Kafiristan’

You have to give the devil his due. In a landmark move, Sindh Assembly banned forced conversions of minorities. But, it seems, some people were far from happy.

“Since the assembly has collectively banned religious conversion, it has committed treason with the Quran and Sunnah, and the Constitution. There is no justification for the assembly to stay,” Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam (JUI-S) leader Maulana Samiul Haq said.

He further added, “It is regrettable that minorities in Pakistan have the right to preach their religion, but a sick secular mentality are interfering in an Islamic country.” He isn’t done yet, people, not by a long shot. “The Sindh government is converting the province into ‘Kafiristan’ with such un-Islamic decisions.”

Oh well, you can’t please everyone.

You can read more about it here: JUI-S chief demands dissolution of Sindh Assembly over forced conversions bill

2. Forget press-ups, PML-N MPs tell cricketers

In a rather bizarre turn of events, two PML-N lawmakers took severe exception to Pakistan cricket team’s choice of post-match celebration, saying the players should offer voluntary prayers instead of doing pushups upon winning.

“What message Pakistani cricketers are trying to give by doing pushups after matches?” MNA Rana Muhammad Afzal asked.

What business it is of his remains a mystery to this day.

You can read more about it here: Forget press-ups, PML-N MPs tell cricketers

And for Misbahul Haq’s defence, go here: Misbahul Haq defends celebratory push-ups

3. Pervaiz Rashid refuses to say Middlesex/Hamfield

Apparently, former information minister Pervaiz Rashid’s wuzoo (ablution) can be broken by merely uttering the names of certain places in England. “I won’t take the name of the area because if a Muslim takes the name, they have to perform wuzoo (ablution),” Rashid said matter-of-factly at a press conference in May.

The intended area, Middlesex or Hamfield, is reportedly where PTI chairman Imran Khan’s children live. The former information minister then urged Khan to name the place. “If Khan Sahib takes its name, even he would have to perform wuzoo again, if he believes in performing it.”

Point-scoring taken to extreme lengths, eh?

You can read more about it here: Pervaiz Rashid refuses to say Middlesex. Here’s why

And if you are interested in other words that could break his wuzoo, go here: 20 names of places that could break Pervez Rasheed’s wuzu

4. Do not to observe Valentine’s Day

Pakistan’s President Mamnoon Hussain took out time from his extremely busy hibernation schedule a day ahead of Valentine’s Day only to urge all Pakistanis to refrain from celebrating the day.

“Valentine’s Day has no connection with our culture and it should be avoided,” he urged.

Interestingly, he said this while speaking at an event to honour the services of Pakistan Movement leader Sardar Abdur Rab Nishtar on his death anniversary.

He then made a valiant effort to make some sense of his words, saying that Valentine’s Day was not a part of Muslim tradition but of the West, and so we should maintain our religious and national identity.
Go back to sleep, Mr President.

You can read more about it here: President urges nation not to observe Valentine’s Day

5. Ban Doraemon

Sometimes, politicians can make us doubt their sanity. And this is one of those times.

Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf in August submitted a first of its kind resolution in the Punjab Assembly calling for a ban on famous Japanese anime series Doraemon.

“Pemra should impose a ban on Doraemon or limit its airtime as it contains explicit content which has a bad impact on children,” PTI legislator Malik Taimoor Masood said.

As you can imagine, Twitter had a field day: Why does PTI want Doraemon banned? Pakistanis take a guess

6. Khawaja Asif’s ‘tractor trolley’ comment

“Someone make this tractor trolley keep quiet.”

This infamous remark was made by Pakistan’s Defence Minister Khawaja Asif, intended for PTI’s Shireen Mazari, and in the National Assembly. Enough said!

As if the damage hadn’t already been done, Asif took the opportunity to also remark on Mazari’s ‘manly voice’. “It will be better if you first transform your masculine voice into a more feminine one,” he said.

You can read more about it here: Ruckus in NA as defence minister calls Shireen Mazari ‘tractor trolley’

 

[Devil Soul]

7. Divorce rate linked to gas load-shedding

Of all the reasons for increasing instances of divorce in Pakistan, a PML-N lawmaker hit upon gas load-shedding as the leading cause. It sure defies reason, but Tahira Aurangzeb did have an argument to back her supposition.

“Squabbles have become common as housewives have been unable to cook food or breakfast on time because of excessive gas load-shedding. As a result, men get irritated, tearing couples apart in the long run,” she said.

“The house should be informed who exactly is responsible for the mess [in the family life of consumers].”
Who, indeed?

You can read more about it here: Divorce rate linked to gas load-shedding, MNA claims

8. If you can’t afford pulses, eat chicken: Ishaq Dar

Umm, Mr finance minister, you have heard of Marie Antoinette, haven’t you? Perhaps not, it seems.

Answering criticism on soaring prices of pulses in the National Assembly, Ishaq Dar came up with some strange advice. “If pulses are expensive, then people should eat chicken which is Rs200 per kilo because the government has waived all taxes and duties on poultry products,” he said. Slow-clap

You can read more about it here: If you can’t afford pulses, eat chicken: Dar

9. Husbands be allowed to ‘lightly beat’ defying wives

If we were to hold a competition for most ridiculous suggestion ever, this one would win hands down.

Earlier this year, the Council of Islamic Ideology (CII), headed by Maulana Muhammad Khan Sherani of JUI-F, proposed its own version of the women protection bill, recommending ‘a light beating’ for the wife if she defies the husband.

According to the council, a husband should be allowed to ‘lightly’ beat his wife if she defies his commands and refuses to dress up as per his desires; turns down demand of intercourse without any religious excuse or does not take bath after intercourse or menstrual periods.

It has also suggested that a beating is permissible if a woman does not observe hijab; interacts with strangers; speaks loud enough that she can easily be heard by strangers; and provides monetary support to people without taking consent of her spouse.

For other such gems, go here: CII proposes husbands be allowed to ‘lightly beat’ defying wives

And here’s a fitting response to the ludicrous suggestion: #TryBeatingMeLightly: Pakistani women react to CII bill with powerful portrait series

10. Sindh sports minister challenges Punjab counterpart to push-up competition

For reals. That right there is the solution to all of Sindh’s sporting woes. Wonder why no one else thought of that before?

“I challenge the sports minister of Punjab to do 50 push-ups, and I’ll do the same. I am a sportsman myself. The players of Sindh aren’t in the spotlight and this is what I aim to change — Even if I have to fight with the federal government,” Sardar Muhammad Bux Khan Mahar said.

If you actually want to see him do those ‘pushups’, go here: Sindh sports minister does 50 push-ups, challenges Punjab counterpart

New year resolution: Don’t vote for politicians as silly as the ones mentioned above.

 

[saiyan0321]

Considering their backgrounds and history and the background of our elected officials, one expects worse :p

 

[AUz]

Lol, Express Tribune calling others' on stupidity?

Oh the irony!

 

[karakoram]

One word for all of our politicians OLambai

 

[Valar Dohaeris]

There is nothing wrong in 1,4,5 and 9 from a neutral perspective. The author find them "stupid" because he is another desi-liberal and dont realize the fact that journalism must be unbiased.

 

[Tipu7]

4, 5, 9 do not fall in category of "incredible stupid"

 

[Jungibaaz]

There is nothing wrong in 1,4,5 and 9 from a neutral perspective. The author find them "stupid" because he is another desi-liberal and dont realize the fact that journalism must be unbiased.

The bias here probably isn't of the journalist, more likely your own bias to excuse any comment as long as it qualifies as vaguely religious.

As for the statements themselves, they're at the very least unnecessary. Stupid perhaps not. Number 9 especially has no place in our society.

 

[Valar Dohaeris]

The bias here probably isn't of the journalist, more likely your own bias to excuse any comment as long as it qualifies as vaguely religious.

As for the statements themselves, they're at the very least unnecessary. Stupid perhaps not. Number 9 especially has no place in our society.

I am not a journalist and I dont claim to be writing something which represents the opinion of the whole society. So first of all, I have not taken the position of neutrality here. Secondly, the same logic of being 'vaguely religious' applies to the article as well. Hence, 1, 4 and 5 are included in the list just because of being religious.

As far as 9 is concern, its debatable point and I respect your point of view. Though, I disagree to some extant.

 

[Jungibaaz]

I am not a journalist and I dont claim to be writing something which represents the opinion of the whole society. So first of all, I have not taken the position of neutrality here. Secondly, the same logic of being 'vaguely religious' applies to the article as well. Hence, 1, 4 and 5 are included in the list just because of being religious.

You have your opinion and the journalist who wrote this piece has theirs. But look who it was to first dismiss either opinion as bias. We're arguing over thin air, but you must at least see the difference here.

And I know full well you've no position of neutrality, hence my reply.

As far as 9 is concern, its debatable point and I respect your point of view.

I think if you set aside the religious justifications, whatever they may be, there is no reasonable debate you or anyone could muster in favour of number 9.

 

[Valar Dohaeris]

You have your opinion and the journalist who wrote this piece has theirs. But look who it was to first dismiss either opinion as bias. We're arguing over thin air, but you must at least see the difference here.

Well, we have a right to question that why the author thinks saying something against valentine day is the 4th most stupid quote of the year ? This is the main point from where one raises question on the intentions of author. Then, why not we should scrutinize the content being aired for our kids ?

I think if you set aside the religious justifications, whatever they may be, there is no reasonable debate you or anyone could muster in favour of number 9.

The debate is about the point which CII chairman said, not about what is mentioned in the Quran. Because the religious ruling regarding physical punishment of the wife is quite logical and different from what Maulana Sherani said or what media heard.

 

[Jungibaaz]

Well, we have a right to question that why the author thinks

Yeah you do, let me know where I or anyone else, including the biased author prevented that.
But dismissing him as bias is what was being discussed, and that you did.

saying something against valentine day is the 4th most stupid quote of the year ?

If you or I said it, it wouldn't matter. Coming from the President of Pakistan, it is a stupid quote, if not stupid it ought to maybe bother you that your president concerns himself with petty things such as this. Nevermind his actual opinion.

This is the main point from where one raises question on the intentions of author. Then, why not we should scrutinize the content being aired for our kids/ ?

Please tell us the intentions of the author, you already dismissed him as a desi-liberal for each point where something remotely religious was the subject of ridicule. So, what's his intention as hinted at in the part in bold?

The debate is about the point which CII chairman said, not about what is mentioned in the Quran. Because the religious ruling regarding physical punishment of the wife is quite logical and different from what Maulana Sherani said or what media heard.

So are you saying the CII chairman said no such thing about wife beating? That he was misinterpreted by the author, myself and others? Or that he said something along those lines but our reaction was somehow wrong? (This one you'll need to explain)

Or is it that it's debatable when it comes Islamic guidance and therefore it would be wrong to include his quote on the list? In which case I already addressed the issue in the previous post. (see below)

I think if you set aside the religious justifications, whatever they may be, there is no reasonable debate you or anyone could muster in favour of number 9.

@Valar Dohaeris Please pick whichever argument you'd like to make with number 9, I can't decipher from our discussion what your issue there was.

 

[The Diplomat]

4, 5, 9 do not fall in category of "incredible stupid"

So husbands should be allowed to beat their wife's? Come on man... How is that even right?

 

[deckingraj]

So husbands should be allowed to beat their wife's? Come on man... How is that even right?

because they are husbands ...isn't that clear enough...what world do you live in ..... On serious note leaders don't make statements out of thin air...there is a following who still believe in this sh1t....Husbands beating their wives is a reality and a right...thus such statements raise no eyebrows there...Unfortunately this is a sad truth

 

[Syed1.]

4, 5, 9 do not fall in category of "incredible stupid"

Husbands should be allowed to beat their wives??!?!