Stupid & Funny from Around the World :Continued

[ghazi52]

 

[ghazi52]

..

 

[Silicon0000]

 

[Silicon0000]

 

[alikazmi007]

View attachment 606183

Not sure a 'subtle' message works on us at all, we still need Aunti/Uncle to remind us to bring some cash....!

 

[Silicon0000]

 

[Silicon0000]

For smoker, they put a fearful picture of a cancer patient on cigarette pack.

With this logic......
Why don't they put a picture of obese children on McDonald's pack.
Why don't they put a picture of deadly car crashes on wine bottles.
Why don't they put a picture of damaged kidney and liver on Coke & Pepsi tins.

And most importantly;
Why don't they put a picture of dead bodies, injured and starving humans on Fighter Jets and missiles.



Note: I am not smoker.

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فرہنگ زوجیات کے مطابق ویلنٹائن کا آغاز پاکستان کے صوبہ پنجاب سے ہوا،
جب پنجابی شوہر اپنے بیویوں کے نافرمان ہوئے تو اُن کی بیویوں نے اُن کو سُدھارنے کیلئے آلہِ گول روٹی "وِیلن" کا استعمال شروع کیا،
کثرتِ استعمال کی وجہ سے اُن لمحات کو ویلن ٹائم (اوقاتِ مار) کہا جانے لگا،
شوہر اپنی بیویوں کے تشدد سے بچنے کیلئے اُن کو پھول اور تحائف دینے لگے یوں وقت گزرنے کے ساتھ ساتھ زباں و بیاں میں ارتقاء ہوا اور وِیلن ٹائم کو "وِیلن ٹائن" کہا جانے لگا،

آپریشن توں بعد مریض دے رشتہ دار تے ڈاکٹر

*ڈاکٹر صاب مریض نوں کھان لئی کی دیئے؟*
نرم غذا دیں۔
او کیہڑی؟
دلیا ، کھچڑی ڈبل روٹی بسکٹ پھل جوس وغیرہ۔
پھل کہیڑے۔۔۔۔۔سارے؟ "فروٹر" کھلا دیئے؟
ہاں دے دیں۔
پر ایہہ تے کھنگ کر سکدا اے جی؟
اچھا۔ نا دیں۔
نئیں ڈاکٹر صاحب جے ضروری اے تاں کھلا دیندے آں جی۔
پر روٹی توں پہلے دیئے یا بعد چے؟
او بھائی ابھی کھانا نہیں دینا۔
تو مریض کی کھاوے۔ خوراک دا تے دس دیو۔
نرم غذا کھلائیں۔ دلیا کھچڑی پھل ڈبل روٹی جوس وغیرہ۔
گوشت کیہڑا کھوایئے؟
ابھی گوشت نہیں دینا۔
چھوٹا وھڈّا کوئی وی نئیں دینا ؟ مرغی وی نئیں؟
نہیں مرغی بھی نا دیں ؟
تے مچھلی ڈاکٹر صاب؟
نہیں۔
چوچا یا بٹیر دے دیئے؟
نہیں بابا ابھی کوئی پکانے والی چیز نہیں دینی۔
دودھ تے پلا سکدے آں؟
ہاں دے دیں۔
کیہڑا؟
کچا ۔۔۔۔۔۔یا کا ڑھ کےَ؟
کا ڑھ کے۔
ٹھنڈا یا گرم؟
نیم گرم، کوسا کر کے دے دیں۔
کنّاں کوسا ؟
ہلکا کوسا ۔
انّی دیر وچ دوجا بندہ۔ ۔ ۔
چھڈ ۔۔ تینوں تاں سمجھہ ہی نئی آندی۔ مینوں پچھن دے۔ ۔ ۔

"جی ڈاکٹر صاحب - مریض نوں خوراک کیہڑی دیئے؟"




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.

I love this Story,

A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay.

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.

He could not control his curiosity and asked,

"Do you always carry your TV remote with you?"

She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote."

*Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies.....*

The story continues....

The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased.

Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing.

He said, "your husband has blocked your credit card.........."

*MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.*

Story continues....

Wife took out her husband's credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.

*Moral: Don't underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..*

Story continues...

After swiping, the machine indicated, 'ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE'.......

*Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!*

Story continues....

She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse.

It was her husband's phone showing the forwarded SMS.

She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn't call her during her shopping.

She bought her items and returned home happily.

*Moral: Don't underestimate a desperate woman!*

Story continues....

On getting home, his car was gone.

A note was pasted on the door

"Couldn't find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something".

Damn... He left with the house key too.


*Moral: Don't try to control your husband.
You will always lose

*Happy International Men's Day* to all Men in here
We appreciate us all




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[ghazi52]

 

[ghazi52]

 

[ghazi52]

 

[ghazi52]

 

[Silicon0000]

 

[jamahir]

And most importantly;
Why don't they put a picture of dead bodies, injured and starving humans on Fighter Jets and missiles.

Agreed.

The arms industry is the most useless industry ever.

 

[ghazi52]

O' Allah we are also your creature.

 

[dexter]