Stupid and funny from all over the world - II

[Devil Soul]

 

[Sugarcane]

 

[HRK]

 

[Evil Flare]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=242831442511436

WTF is this $hit ...

how do i stop my laughing ?

 

[friendly_troll96]

 

[Fekay]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=242831442511436

here's ones with street fight theme:

 

[friendly_troll96]

 

[KRAIT]

Oppa Buddham Style.

 

[Cheetah786]

It's written Liar

 

[untitled]

Yikes I am a hybrid !!!!
No wonder I like olive oil, pizza and kebabs

 

[friendly_troll96]

some PDFer when two finds *** dimes walk by

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[Cheetah786]

60 Great Pick Up Lines: Most Original, Ordinary, and Outrageous

Most Original (and most likely to work):

20. "If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer."

19. "I was so enchanted by you that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes."

18. "For a moment I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me."

17. "If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

16. "Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you."

15. "You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line."

14. "There's something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it."

13. "Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?"

12. "If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand."

11. "Would you grab my arm? I want to tell my friends I've been touched by an angel."

10. "I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you."

9. "I think there's something wrong with my eyes...I can't take them off of you."

8. "Hey, how are you? [Fine] Wait, I didn't ask how you looked!"

7. "Be unique and different, say yes."

6. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

5. "Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle."

4. "Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back."

3. "You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

2. "[Extending hand] Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?"

1. "Do you know much a polar bear weighs? [No, how much?] Enough to break the ice...hello, I'm (insert your name here).

Most Ordinary (and most likely to make her laugh):

20. "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!"

19. "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you."

18. "You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!"

17. "If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents."

16. "You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else or you'll set the carpet on fire."

15. "Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine."

14. "There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look."

13. "I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight."

12. "Me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, a sentencewithoutspaces."

11. "Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!"

10. "Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call 'FINE PRINT'!"

9. "You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room."

8. "Do you have a twin? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!"

7. "How was heaven when you left it?"

6. "Excuse me, but I think I dropped something...MY JAW!"

5. "I don't have a library card, do you mind if I check you out?"

4. "Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications like headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So, for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!"

3. "Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."

2. "Hello are you married? Oh you are? Well I didn't hear you say 'happily.' "

1. "I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet."

Most Outrageous (and most likely to completely scare her off):

20. "I play the field and it looks like I just hit a home run with you."

19. "The more I drink, the prettier you get."

18. "Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!"

17. "Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns."

16. "Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'."

15. "You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?"

14. "You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts."

13. "You must be tired because you've been running through my head all night."

12. "Hey, what's up? Guess what? It's your lucky day. Out of all the girls here, I picked you."

11. "That shirt's very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming too."

10. "You Know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...want to help prove him wrong?"

9. "Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?"

8. "If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib."

7. "Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them."

6. "[As she's leaving] Hey, aren't you forgetting something? [What?] ME!!"

5. "Hey, baby, you're so fine you make me stutter. Wha-wha-what's your name?"

4. "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."

3. "Great legs, what time do they open?"

2. "Did you fart, 'cause you just blew me away."

1. "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in."

 

[friendly_troll96]

It's written Liar

------------------

 

[friendly_troll96]

60 Great Pick Up Lines: Most Original, Ordinary, and Outrageous

Most Original (and most likely to work):

20. "If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer."

19. "I was so enchanted by you that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes."

18. "For a moment I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me."

17. "If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

16. "Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you."

15. "You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line."

14. "There's something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it."

13. "Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?"

12. "If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand."

11. "Would you grab my arm? I want to tell my friends I've been touched by an angel."

10. "I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you."

9. "I think there's something wrong with my eyes...I can't take them off of you."

8. "Hey, how are you? [Fine] Wait, I didn't ask how you looked!"

7. "Be unique and different, say yes."

6. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

5. "Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle."

4. "Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back."

3. "You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

2. "[Extending hand] Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?"

1. "Do you know much a polar bear weighs? [No, how much?] Enough to break the ice...hello, I'm (insert your name here).

Most Ordinary (and most likely to make her laugh):

20. "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!"

19. "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you."

18. "You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!"

17. "If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents."

16. "You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else or you'll set the carpet on fire."

15. "Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine."

14. "There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look."

13. "I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight."

12. "Me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, a sentencewithoutspaces."

11. "Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!"

10. "Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call 'FINE PRINT'!"

9. "You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room."

8. "Do you have a twin? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!"

7. "How was heaven when you left it?"

6. "Excuse me, but I think I dropped something...MY JAW!"

5. "I don't have a library card, do you mind if I check you out?"

4. "Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications like headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So, for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!"

3. "Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."

2. "Hello are you married? Oh you are? Well I didn't hear you say 'happily.' "

1. "I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet."

Most Outrageous (and most likely to completely scare her off):

20. "I play the field and it looks like I just hit a home run with you."

19. "The more I drink, the prettier you get."

18. "Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!"

17. "Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns."

16. "Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'."

15. "You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?"

14. "You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts."

13. "You must be tired because you've been running through my head all night."

12. "Hey, what's up? Guess what? It's your lucky day. Out of all the girls here, I picked you."

11. "That shirt's very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming too."

10. "You Know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...want to help prove him wrong?"

9. "Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?"

8. "If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib."

7. "Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them."

6. "[As she's leaving] Hey, aren't you forgetting something? [What?] ME!!"

5. "Hey, baby, you're so fine you make me stutter. Wha-wha-what's your name?"

4. "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."

3. "Great legs, what time do they open?"

2. "Did you fart, 'cause you just blew me away."

1. "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in."

"You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

epic...gonna try

 

[krash]

E-mails from an Asshole

Not sure if shared before.