Stupid and funny from all over the world - II

[AHMED85]

Well Its Is Depend On The Circumstances..

Two pictures are

Or

 

[Firemaster]

 

[LURKER]

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[Frank Martin]

 

[dexter]

ultimate getup for women members ov MQM's jalsaP

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[BlackenTheSky]

‎~~~~ Tale of Dickson-The Sperm~~~~~~~
Out of a bunch of millions of sperms there was this one sperm named Dickson

Dickson was always trying to keep his fitness, jogging, lifting weights, and even swimming.
When his friends ask him why was he doing these things he say "only one of us will meet the egg and make a baby, and I want to be that one when the time comes". His friends would just laugh at him and pass.

The time for them to go out came and Dickson outran all of them (I'm talking millions of sperms) to the exit, as matter of fact, there was a huge gap between Dick and the rest.

All of a sudden the other guys
saw Dickson running back as fast as they have never seen him before. As he went past them in the opposite direction.
They asked, " Dickson why are you running back, didn't you say you wanted to be the one?", and

Dickson breathlessly replied, "heh heh heh heh......This stupid is masturbating.

 

[Nirvana]

‎~~~~ Tale of Dickson-The Sperm~~~~~~~
Out of a bunch of millions of sperms there was this one sperm named Dickson

Dickson was always trying to keep his fitness, jogging, lifting weights, and even swimming.
When his friends ask him why was he doing these things he say "only one of us will meet the egg and make a baby, and I want to be that one when the time comes". His friends would just laugh at him and pass.

The time for them to go out came and Dickson outran all of them (I'm talking millions of sperms) to the exit, as matter of fact, there was a huge gap between Dick and the rest.

All of a sudden the other guys
saw Dickson running back as fast as they have never seen him before. As he went past them in the opposite direction.
They asked, " Dickson why are you running back, didn't you say you wanted to be the one?", and

Dickson breathlessly replied, "heh heh heh heh......This stupid is masturbating.

Superb...i wish ihad thousand likes

 

[Zabaniyah]

 

[BlackenTheSky]

‎80year old man: doctor my 20year old wife is pregnant.
Doctor: Let me tell youu a story
once a man by mistake took umbrella instead of gun to jungle.
He met a lion while walkin
he pulled d umbrella&fired
d lion died

old man: Impossible!! sum1 must have fired.
Doctor:Exactly

--------------------------
1 Aadmi medical shop pe :Zeher
do
Dukandar : bina Parchi ke nahi mil
sakta
Aadmi ne Shadi ka Card dikhaya
Dukandar :bas Pagle rulayega kya,
Badi bottle deta hu

----------------
A secretary got an expensive PEN as birthday gift from her boss.
She sent her boss a 'Thank You' via SMS. The wife read the text and angrily shows her husband the message:

"Your penis wonderful, I enjoyed using it last night. Thanks."

Moral: Space is essential for a successful married life.

-----------------------

Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend... Beautiful, Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible. Or in other words........... B.I.G.T.I.T.S.

-----------------------

The break up of a cricket fan...

A boyfriend threw 6 Cricket Balls at his girlfriend.

Girlfriend Yelled: What`s that for?

Boy: It`s Over!

--------------------

 

[BlackenTheSky]

It's true....

 

[BlackenTheSky]

 

[BlackenTheSky]

 

[BlackenTheSky]

Wife travelling to London to meet her sister...

Wife: What would you like me to brink back for you?
Husband: (Jokingly) A British girl.

>Wife returns from London...

Husband: (Taunting) Where is the girl I asked for?
Wife: I got her. Wait 9 months

---------------------

Guy 1: "Owky, I'm gonna tell u a story with 4 PARTS. Ok remember that, 4 PARTS...!!!"

Guy 2: "Owky..."
...
Guy 1: "I'm gonna start with part 1...

There was a husband and a wife, they were driving to a camp site when they came upon a split road...

The husband goes: 'Let's take the left one.'

The wife goes: 'I think we should take the right road...'

Then the husband slaps the wife across the face... 'Who's driving, me or you?!?' And they take the left path....

Guy 2: "Hahahahahaaaaa..."

Guy 1: "Owky, now I'm gonna tell you part 2...

Once they get to the camp site the husband goes fishing so his wife can cook their dinner.

He comes back and the wife says, 'Good, now I can cook fish soup for us to eat...'

The husband says, 'But I wanna eat fried fish..'

The wife slaps the husband across the face and says, 'Who's cooking me or you?!?'

And they end up drinking fish soup...

Guy 2: "Hahahaaaa.... lol..."

Guy 1: "Now I'm gonna tell you part 4....

Guy 2: "What about part 3?!?"

Guy 1: ****Gives two big slaps to guy 2 across the face****

"Who's telling the story, me or you?!?

----------------------------

Everything on a woman's upper body starts with a `B` . Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & the lower body with a `P`. Petticoat, Pants, Panties, P****?

No wonder men suffer from high BP

-------------------

An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband.

The mother asks the daughter, 'What are you doing naked?'

The daughter responds, 'This is the dress of love.'

When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband.

When her husband arrives, he asks her, 'What are you doing naked?'

She responds, 'This is the dress of love.'

'Well,' he says to her, 'go iron it.'

-------------------


Mother asked 3 Daughters who
got Married At The Same Time To
Send postcard from their
honeymoon to tell about how
Marital sex felt.

1st girl sent a card 2 days after
wedding with just written
"Nescafe"!
Mom checked Nescafe jar It said:
"Good till the last drop".
Mom blushed, but was pleased for
her.

2nd girl sent the card after a
week: "Rothmans"
Mom checked her husbands
cigarettes, which read: "Extra
Long. King Size"
She was again slightly
embarrassed but still happy for
her daughter.

3rd girl after a MONTH!!: In shaky
handwriting. "Singapore Airways"
Mom took out her latest
magazine, saw the ad which said:

"Ten times a day, seven days a
week, both ways, even from
where U speak."

Mom fainted
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A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his
wife one Friday evening that reads...

Dear Wife,
I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter
I will be at the Grand
Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old
secretary."
When he arrived at the hotel there was a
letter waiting for him that read as follows...

Dear Husband,
I too am 54 and by the time you receive this
letter I will be at the
Intercontinental Hotel with my handsome and virile
18 year old boy toy.

AND,
you, being an accountant, will appreciate that
18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes
into 18.

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[BlackenTheSky]

 

[Saifullah Sani]