The first thing one looks for in an officer, is integrity. Sometimes it's by nature, sometimes you have to force yourself. Let me give you an example, when dealing with relatives, don't you get to hear, "dekho maa baap nai kiya tarbiyat ey hai!" The same way any officer, civilian or military is an ambassador of his organization. Gen Niazi, from what I have read in the Hummod ur Rehman Commission Report (in particular) was quite a disgrace on his own. His actions were barbaric and uncalled for. He did the exact opposite of what one is supposed to do when fighting a guerrilla war. Alienating the local population, looking down on them, crushing them under the boot, never works. It is always counter-productive. 2nd Century mentality at best!
The second part of your statement, absolutely right!