I hate to interject, but it pains me to see that there are a lot of well-informed and intelligent people in this thread but most of these conversations end up with childish and personal abuses. Threads like these have the potential to bring about some real high quality discussions. It really isn't all that hard to look at situations objectively and avoid being overly defensive. I've been active on this forum for only a day or two and I find it filled with penis measuring competitions.
Penis measurements notwithstanding -- I think there might even be a healthy side to this.
I think the question that is most pertinent (which I believe is in between your lines) is: how is it that educated Pakistanis and Afghans cannot find traction in their arguments so that they converge to solutions.
I suspect the lesson to be had here is that the Afghan and Pakistani people will remain hostile to each other in the near future possibly for 2 generations or more. Something like the Israeli and Palestinian people. The hatred you find Amongst all strata of Afghans towards common Pakistanis is akin the the hatred you find amongst Palestinians towards the Israeli people.
The reason for this enduring hostility is rooted in structural (or systemic) issues in how the Afghan and Pakistani states and nations are constituted today. Further, this hostility will endure until the Afghan/Pakistan equilibrium changes, for example:
a. Afghanistan dominates Pakistan
b. Pakistan dominates Afghanistan
c. A new Afghan/Pakistan equilibrium is established via a Grand bargain or organically over time.
So I think from a Pakistani perspective, the Pakistani people need to come to terms with an enduring hostility that awaits them on their Eastern border. Everyone wishes for a quick fix but wishes don't translate into policy.
The question for the Pakistani policy community and people should be: Given a hostile Afghan people to the East how does one insulate Pakistan and still prosper. Nations with hostile neighbors have prospered but only after coming to terms with reality (for example: the Israelis, Lebanese, Koreans, etc.)
Now, it has recently been reported that when the Afghan delegation comprising members of the high peace council met Mullah Baradar he was sedated -- if this is true (ignoring for a second how comical it sounds, like a bad Bond flick): it means that the Mullah Military complex of Pakistan is at least under no illusion to what awaits them in the East.
Further, the other good news is that Afghans at least say that they want or need nothing from Pakistanis: not our military training, not our ports (they say they have much better access through Iran), not access to our schools and universities, not our labor -- so I think we should listen to the Afghans and grant them their wish.
Mian Nawaz Sharif sab is new in his position, he will soon learn that waging his tail in Kabul will only get him the polite bitter cold of Kabul and nothing more.