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janon : Because that thread got closed while I was away I'd like to answer here !
I don't feel the slightest bit of begrudge when admitting that North Indian & Pakistani Punjabi culture has certain similarities & more so the Muslim majority areas of Kashmir in their similarity with Upper Punjab, AJK & slightly Gilgit Baltistan ! However at the same time I would not want to be clubbed as if both are similar to the point of being interchangeable with each other, saying that doesn't begrudge me in the least, but nor can I ignore the very real fact that our respective cultures have diverged quite a bit due to Persian, Pukhtoon & Central Asian influences on our lands especially the lands west of the Indus & because there has been a significant immigration of people within Pakistan our culture that already went a paradigmatic shift or diversion from the culture of Indian Punjab & Northern India (baring Kashmir) with it being embellished, like all cultures, with their Vedic past & present unlike ours which sees an indelible mark of Islam on our cultural practices, values & traditions. Therefore, we've evolved in much the same way Urdu & Hindi did - Same roots but evolved, over a period of time, due to a plethora of reasons in different unique directions !
As for your ever so presumptions assertion that somehow Pakistanis have been led to believe that we must define ourselves as anything 'Not-India' whereas such is not the case of India, then please pay Pakistan a visit, talk to the people therein, live amongst themselves, see our National celebrations & then tell me how do we define ourselves instead of formulating your opinion from provocative & absolutely unsubstantiated BS that passes for Journalism these days. If there is anything that defines us - It is Islam ! A Pukhtoon of KP, a Baluch of Baluchistan, a Sindhi of Sindh or a Punjabi of Punjab are very conscious of their identity as Muslims first & then anything else; luckily for us we defined the notion of 'Pakistan' in the exact same terms for ourselves ! India doesn't figure in - Our narrative is there...why we went for a country of our own but India doesn't define us for better or for worse...Islam does that job for us !
However at the same time we are very much conscious of our linguistic & ethnic identities but under the banner of our overarching identity as Muslims. And that is precisely why a Punjabi from Lahore can & does marry a Pukhtoon from Peshawar, is friends with each other & acts like Pakistanis for all intents & purposes.
Its sometime quite humorous to see how much you Indians know about us & still have the temerity of writing entire treatises on what is wrong with Pakistan !