My friend, you have potential to learn. Those who admit their mistakes are brave people and they learn and excel in their life. Let me summarize the issue at hand as follows:
1. Before Islam, among the pagan Arabs, there was no limit on how many wives one can take. Islam has restricted that to maximum of four wives.
2. The average lifespan of men in those days was short due to wars and diseases. As a result there were a lot of widows and many with little children. There existed no system such a social security hence to make the ends meet, these women would do prostitution or lived on alms . In both the instances, the kids would never gain a respectable position in the society.
3. To address this issue, and to raise the social/moral status of women, Islam allowed able men to marry up to 4 women.
4. There is no ayah or hadith that encourages Muslim men to take more than one wife. It is an allowance, not an encouragement. For instance, Hazrat Ali had only one wife (Fatima) until her death.
5. Permission from one's first wife to marry 2nd time is not mandatory but common sense and societal norms suggests that one should take his first or earlier wives in confidence and discuss the implications of the 2nd or more marriages.
6. A man must be able to take care of all his wives equally, both monetarily and physically.
7. Some men have higher libido than others and this is medically proven. In this case, it is preferable to satisfy one's urge from a wife rather than going to a brothel. However, it is only permissible if the point#6 is fulfillable.
8. Sometimes a wife is unable to bear a child for medical reasons. In that case, a man is allowed to marry a second woman so he could have children. Of course if the fault is in the husband, this cant be a valid reason.
May Allah help us understand the teachings of Islam in their true spirit.
