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McCain Urges Military Strikes Against FIFA

The fact that they were using payment systems in the US for facilitating bribe money is the reason for the US to intervene on the matter.

Just for all to know, bribe is a serious crime in the USA. And it can land you in jail.

'Beginning in 1991, two generations of soccer officials, including the then-presidents of two regional soccer confederations under FIFA – the Confederation of North, Central American and Caribbean Association Football, known as CONCACAF, which includes the United States, and the South American Football Confederation, or CONMEBOL, which represents organized soccer in South America – used their positions of trust within their respective organizations to solicit bribes from sports marketers in exchange for the commercial rights to their soccer tournaments. They did this over and over, year after year, tournament after tournament.

For instance, in 2016, the United States is scheduled to host the centennial edition of the Copa America – the first time that tournament will be held in cities outside South America. Our investigation revealed that what should be an expression of international sportsmanship was used as a vehicle in a broader scheme to line executives’ pockets with bribes totaling $110 million – nearly a third of the legitimate costs of the rights to the tournaments involved.

The criminal activity we have identified did not solely involve sports marketing. Around 2004, bidding began for the opportunity to host the 2010 World Cup, which was ultimately awarded to South Africa – the first time the tournament would be held on the African continent. But even for this historic event, FIFA executives and others corrupted the process by using bribes to influence the hosting decision. The indictment also alleges that corruption and bribery extended to the 2011 FIFA presidential election, and to agreements regarding sponsorship of the Brazilian national soccer team by a major U.S. sportswear company.

In short, these individuals and organizations engaged in bribery to decide who would televise games; where the games would be held; and who would run the organization overseeing organized soccer worldwide. While at least one FIFA executive served as CONCACAF president without pay, there was little altruism involved, as he alone is alleged to have taken more than $10 million in bribes over a 19-year period and amassed a personal fortune from his ill-gotten gains. In many instances, defendants and their co-conspirators planned aspects of their scheme during meetings held here in the United States; they used the banking and wire facilities of the United States to distribute bribe payments; and they planned to profit from their scheme in large part through promotional efforts directed at the growing U.S. market for soccer.'

Source:
Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch Delivers Remarks at Press Conference Announcing Charges Against Nine FIFA Officials and Five Corporate Executives | OPA | Department of Justice
 
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I understand, this is satire. But the Americans have just arrested a top leadership of FIFA.
This is likely related to the fact that the 2018 World Cup will be held in Russia.
No it isnt, the current investigation is implicating plenty of American and American companies, even Nike are going to be hurt. And even if it affects Russia then its Russians own fault for deciding to bribe officials but it isnt about Russia, why is EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT RUSSIA. You are unimportant on any stage that does not involve weapons talk. This if anything is about Qatar, I dont think people have a problem with Russia having the world cup, the means they obtained it yes but Russia is local, plenty of football fans and isnt really a huge issue to have a world cup there, no rescheduling etc etc.
 
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americans must delusion themselves to truelly believe they are god.
 
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Blatter re-elected as FIFA President. So that the danger of cancel of Championship in Russia reduced.
 
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Calling the Obama Administration’s actions against the soccer organization “weak and ineffective,” Senator John McCain on Thursday proposed military action to “dismantle and destroy FIFA once and for all.”

“These are people who only understand one thing: force,” McCain said on the floor of the United States Senate. “We must make FIFA taste the vengeful might and fury of the United States military.”

McCain said that he was “completely unimpressed” by the Department of Justice’s arrests of several top FIFA lieutenants this week, calling the action “the kind of Band-Aid solution that this Administration, sadly, has become famous for.”

“Rounding up a few flunkies in a hotel is meaningless when the leader of FIFAremains at large,” he said. “I will follow Sepp Blatter to the gates of Hell.”

McCain requested a four-billion-dollar aid package for moderate elements within global soccer, and said that the United States should be prepared to put boots on the ground in Switzerland.

Calling the use of force against FIFA “long overdue,” he placed the blame for the group’s alarming growth squarely on the shoulders of the White House. “Barack Obama created FIFA,” he said.
McCain Urges Military Strikes Against FIFA - The New Yorker
I know that McCain - shell-shocked clown. But now the United States assumed the right in its sole discretion to intervene in sports organizations?
What's wrong with you, people?




Bwahahaha ,this guy is a think tank,LOL :enjoy::rofl:
 
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I see how this satire works. McCain is a lunatic ready and barking for a fight with anyone. He even admitted to war crimes he committed in Vietnam. Petty he did not take the job as advisor to Ukraine, Pork-oshenko could have used his expertise in destroying towns and villages.
 
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Pity the op didnt link the best of Borowitz

This one is even better.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Shortly after world powers successfully negotiated a nuclear-framework agreement with Iran, Sen. John McCain warned that a lasting peace with the Middle Eastern nation “could greatly limit our ability to bomb it.”
“President Obama is hailing this framework as something that could enhance the prospects for peace in the Middle East,” McCain told reporters at the United States Senate. “For those of us who have looked forward to bombing Iran for some time now, that would be a doomsday scenario.”
“The Iranians know well and good that if they abandon their nuclear program exactly the way we’ve asked them to, we can kiss bombing them goodbye,” he said, shaking his head ruefully. “It’s a damn shame.”

Peace with Iran Could Limit Ability to Bomb It, Warns McCain - The New Yorker
 
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Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for newyorker.com.

lol, so next time when Borowitz said we should nuke Russia, would the Russia nuke us first?? lol

Some people just don't know what jokes and comedy is all about.
 
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