Joke

[pkpatriotic]

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans.
Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy--Johnny.

The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a Bush fan."

The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush fan?"

Johnny says, "I'm a John F. Kerry fan." The teacher asks why he's a Kerry fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a Kerry fan, and my Dad's a Kerry fan, so I'm a Kerry fan!"

The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if you're Mom was a moron, and you're dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush fan."

 

[pkpatriotic]

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn.

The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.

The old farmer told him he had buried them.

The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"

The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."

 

[thorosius]

Bush meeting the Queen in London

At Heathrow, a 300-foot long red carpet is stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strides to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II.

They ride in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of central London where they board an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white matching horses.

They ride toward Buckingham Palace, each looking sideways and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all is going well.

But suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous, earth-rending, eye-smarting blast of gastronomic flatulence ever heard in the British Empire, including Bermuda, Tortola and the Falkland Islands. It shakes the coach.

Uncomfortable, but under control, the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decides that's ridiculous. She turns to Mr. Bush and explains, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

George W. Bush, ever the gentleman, replies, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses...."

 

[Vic-Aries]

 

[Blossom]

There were two firends takin Chem. Both did well on all the quizzes,
> >the labs and midterm, therefore they were goin into the final each
> >with a solid A. They were so confident the weekend b4 the final that
> >they decided to party all night. They overslept all day on Sunday
> >and got back too late to study for the Chemistry final that was
> >scheduled on Monday morning. Rather than take the final unprepared,
> >they went to the professor with a sob story. They each said they had
>
> >gone on a trip and had planned to come back in good time to study
> >for the final but had had a flat tire on the way back. Because they
> >didnt have a spare, they spent most of the night looking for help.
> >
> >They asked if they could have a makeup final the next day. The
> >professor thought it over and agreed.
> >
> >The two studied all of Monday evening and came well prepared on
> >Tuesday morning. The professor placed them in separate rooms and
> >handed the test to each. The first question on the first page was
> >worth 10marks was very easy. Each of them wrote a good answer. and
> >greatly relieved, turned the page. It had just one question, worth
> >90 marks. It was "Which Tyre?"

i dont get it.

 

[AliFarooq]

i dont get it.

Originally Posted by sigatoka View Post
There were two firends takin Chem. Both did well on all the quizzes,
> >the labs and midterm, therefore they were goin into the final each
> >with a solid A. They were so confident the weekend b4 the final that
> >they decided to party all night. They overslept all day on Sunday
> >and got back too late to study for the Chemistry final that was
> >scheduled on Monday morning. Rather than take the final unprepared,
> >they went to the professor with a sob story. They each said they had
>
> >gone on a trip and had planned to come back in good time to study
> >for the final but had had a flat tire on the way back. Because they
> >didnt have a spare, they spent most of the night looking for help.
> >
> >They asked if they could have a makeup final the next day. The
> >professor thought it over and agreed.
> >
> >The two studied all of Monday evening and came well prepared on
> >Tuesday morning. The professor placed them in separate rooms and
> >handed the test to each. The first question on the first page was
> >worth 10marks was very easy. Each of them wrote a good answer. and
> >greatly relieved, turned the page. It had just one question, worth
> >90 marks. It was "Which Tyre?"

Haahaha, thats one of the jokes i hav ever heard. This is wt u call ajoke.

ilovef16, on their make up exam, they have the same quesation, asking them which tire was flat. since they are both sitting in seperate rooms. Since the incident never happened, they both will put sumthign diffrent and they will get caught, and end up getting 10 out of 100.

 

[pkpatriotic]

i dont get it.
Originally Posted by sigatoka View Post
There were two firends takin Chem. Both did well on all the quizzes,
> >the labs and midterm, therefore they were goin into the final each
> >with a solid A. They were so confident the weekend b4 the final that
> >they decided to party all night. They overslept all day on Sunday
> >and got back too late to study for the Chemistry final that was
> >scheduled on Monday morning. Rather than take the final unprepared,
> >they went to the professor with a sob story. They each said they had
>
> >gone on a trip and had planned to come back in good time to study
> >for the final but had had a flat tire on the way back. Because they
> >didnt have a spare, they spent most of the night looking for help.
> >
> >They asked if they could have a makeup final the next day. The
> >professor thought it over and agreed.
> >
> >The two studied all of Monday evening and came well prepared on
> >Tuesday morning. The professor placed them in separate rooms and
> >handed the test to each. The first question on the first page was
> >worth 10marks was very easy. Each of them wrote a good answer. and
> >greatly relieved, turned the page. It had just one question, worth
> >90 marks. It was "Which Tyre?"

Brilliant lady ...I hv highlighted few hints on the post above, to help you out....now you may guess easily upon highlighted links togather

 

[AliFarooq]

Funny story, a smart move by the teacher, every 1 ended up failing the test.

Our Chemistry teacher gave us a test to write, before we started she clearly said, to read the instructions. On the test, the instructins were to read every single question, before writting anything on the paper.So clearly no 1 ever reads the instructions before they start. So once we got to the middle of teh test, there was question "You only need to answer this question to get a perfect,Did you read teh instructions properly?""

So half way through the class every 1 realized, failed the test, and the teacher was just sitting in the front laughing at us.

 

[pkpatriotic]

Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons." After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both Judges." After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Chief Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marines, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals.

 

[AliFarooq]

Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons." After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both Judges." After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Chief Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marines, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals.

 

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by sigatoka View Post
There were two firends takin Chem. Both did well on all the quizzes,
> >the labs and midterm, therefore they were goin into the final each
> >with a solid A. They were so confident the weekend b4 the final that
> >they decided to party all night. They overslept all day on Sunday
> >and got back too late to study for the Chemistry final that was
> >scheduled on Monday morning. Rather than take the final unprepared,
> >they went to the professor with a sob story. They each said they had
>
> >gone on a trip and had planned to come back in good time to study
> >for the final but had had a flat tire on the way back. Because they
> >didnt have a spare, they spent most of the night looking for help.
> >
> >They asked if they could have a makeup final the next day. The
> >professor thought it over and agreed.
> >
> >The two studied all of Monday evening and came well prepared on
> >Tuesday morning. The professor placed them in separate rooms and
> >handed the test to each. The first question on the first page was
> >worth 10marks was very easy. Each of them wrote a good answer. and
> >greatly relieved, turned the page. It had just one question, worth
> >90 marks. It was "Which Tyre?"

Haahaha, thats one of the jokes i hav ever heard. This is wt u call ajoke.

ilovef16, on their make up exam, they have the same quesation, asking them which tire was flat. since they are both sitting in seperate rooms. Since the incident never happened, they both will put sumthign diffrent and they will get caught, and end up getting 10 out of 100.

oh thanks.but please don't tell anyone that i didn't get it.

 

[AliFarooq]

I used to have this as my display picture for Msn lol

 

[pkpatriotic]

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

 

[Ghareeb_Da_Baal]

In Punjabi: Hope you get it the first time.
Allama Iqbal is teaching his son to play violin one day.
A sikh comes up to him , points towards Allama's son and asks Allama " aye sihkda ai?
Allama replies, " na tai aye sikhda ai tey na tu sikhda ai"

Pls delete if offensive........

 

[pkpatriotic]

George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."

Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"

The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."