Joke

[Burger Boy]

Predictions for a hundred years from today:

1) There will still be conflict in the Middle East.

2) Mexico will still be battling drug kingpins.

3) The U.S. and its allies will once again be preparing for war with the Russian Empire.

4) All will be quiet on the Baluch-Chinese border.

There will also be peace on the Egypt/Syria border.

 

[Mech]

4) All will be quiet on the Baluch-Chinese border.

lol...i just caught that part...nice...X D

 

[Srinivas]

Pakistani joke: “We congratulate India on winning the semi-finals. As a goodwill gesture, India can keep Pakistan’s prime minister. And if it wins the finals, we will give our president too"

--- just seen a news article from rupeenews in which the above lines were written.

 

[Respect4Respect01]

old generations were close to their religions, but now only few are that way,

 

[marcos98]

10 Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home.

2. It's important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.

3. It's important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.

4. It's important to have a woman who has a job.

5. It's important to have a woman who likes you.

6. It's important to have a woman who can be your very best friend.

7. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

8. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, who doesn't lie to you.

9. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed.

10. It's very, very important that these nine women do not know each other.

 

[marcos98]

I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"

 

[marcos98]

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better computer programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.


Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”


“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”


Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?” God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”

 

[DESERT FIGHTER]

3 guys walk into a bar...... start talkin abt breaking the guinness world records;

1st one says i have the smallest arm in the world.
2nd one says i have the smallest head in the world.
3rd one say i have the smallest penis in the world.

2 days later they meet again.

1st one say im happy i got award.
2nd say congrats to me.
3rd one shouts "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BEIBER".

 

[Break the Silence]

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a
beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:


A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 American men and 1 American woman
H. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman



What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the
island,the following was observed:


A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.



B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.



C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend
time with the German woman.



D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is
cooking & cleaning for them.



E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long
look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.



F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island
trying to sell them the Mexican woman.



G. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman
is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism,
how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of
fulfillment, the equal division of the household chores, how her last
boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how
her relationship with her mother is improving.



H. What happened to the Indians????






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The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to
the Indian woman!

 

[Major Sahab]

Sales man: Pa ji Cockroach k lye Powder le lo,
Sardar: Na pa jee, na Cockroach nu ena vi free ni karna, Aaj Powder lay dita te kal Body Spray mange ga.

 

[Burger Boy]

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.

So he decides to try it out at dinner.

Dad asks his son, "Where were you today during school?"

The son says, "At school." The Robot slaps son. "Ok, I went to the movies. "

Dad says, "Which one? "

The son says, "Toy Story." Robot slaps son again. "Ok, it was 'A Day with a **** Star'."

"Dad says, "WHAT?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what **** was." Robot slaps dad.

Mom says, "HAHA!! After all he is your son." Robot slaps mom

 

[baker]

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds.

She notices a boy in the field standing alone at one end of the field, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

"You ok?" she says.

"Yes." he replies.

"You can go and play with the other kids if you want.", she says.
"It's best I stay here." he says.

"Why?" asks the blonde.

The boy replies:



"Because I'm the goal keeper"

 

[Najam Khan]

Q:What is old age?
Ans: When you start turning off the lights for Economical reason rather than Romantic reasons

 

[jha]

Ek admi ek ghar ke niche khara susu kar raha tha, upar se ek aurat boli: Nazar nahi araha hai - diwaar hai?
Aadmi bola: thorra side se ho ke dekho sab nazar aajaye ga!!

 

[jha]

Two lovers fall on hard times and decided to rob a bank together. The first lover plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second lover in great detail. The robbery begins. The first lover drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other lover, “I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?” “Perfectly,” he said. He goes in the bank while the other waits in the getaway car. One minute passes, two minutes pass…seven minutes pass - and the first lover is really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open and out he comes. He’s got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time he gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard’s pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the guys are getting away, the first lover says “I thought you understood the plan!” The second lover said, “I did! I did exactly what you said!” “No, you idiot,” he replied. “You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!”