Joke

[darkinsky]

Zardari Ki Car K Neechay Ek Puppy aa K Maar Gaya .

He Told Driver To Find The Woner Of This Little Puppy To Give Compensation..

Driver Went And When He Cam BAck , He Had Alot Of Roses Arround This Neck .

Zardari Surprised to see & Asked Him ..

Driver Said : " Sir Mai Ne Un Logon Se Sirf Yeh Kaha Tha Ke Main President Zardari Ka Driver Hun,

Kuttay Ka BAcha Mar Gya Hai .."

Aur unhoon ney meray gallay mein gulab kay haar dal diye

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Firemaster]

Jenny was sitting on a beach, attempting to strike up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers.

"Hello, sir," she said, "Do you like movies?"

"Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.

Jenny persisted, "Do you like gardening?"

The man again looked up from his book, "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.

Undaunted, Jenny asked, "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Jenny, ravaging her as she'd never been ravaged before.

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Jenny dragged herself to a sitting position and panted, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man thought for a moment and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

Quite naughty you are jha bhaiya

 

[jha]

 

[President Camacho]

Why BRA sizes are measured as A,B,C,D,E,F not 1,2,3,4,5, because...

A=As flat as Airport runway

B=Barely Seen

C=Comfortable

D=Damn Good

E=Enormous

F=Fake

 

[Manticore]

great video

 

[S.M.R]

great video

great video....

 

[GHOST RIDER]

Balochistan CM, Raisani, opens Roza with Zohar prayers ... surprised news reporters asked him ... Sir ! why did you do that ? he replies ... Azaan, Azaan hoti hai, Maghrib ki ho ya zohar ki

 

[A.Muqeet khan]

‪Camel Musharraf entered India with explosives from Pak. Lolxxzzzz‬‏ - YouTube

 

[Jehanzaib]

Zardari Ki Car K Neechay Ek Puppy aa K Maar Gaya .

He Told Driver To Find The Woner Of This Little Puppy To Give Compensation..

Driver Went And When He Cam BAck , He Had Alot Of Roses Arround This Neck .

Zardari Surprised to see & Asked Him ..

Driver Said : " Sir Mai Ne Un Logon Se Sirf Yeh Kaha Tha Ke Main President Zardari Ka Driver Hun,

Kuttay Ka BAcha Mar Gya Hai .."

Aur unhoon ney meray gallay mein gulab kay haar dal diye

Buhahahahahahahaha

 

[jha]

Ek Car ki Nilami ho rahi thi..

20 lac

25 lac
...
30 lac
Aik aadmi ne hairat sa Car ki halat dekhi, usay Car men koi cheez theek na lagi to us ne paas khray ek Aadmi se poocha,
"Bhai is khataara Car me aisi kon C khoobi hai k is ka itna rate lag rha hai?"
.Admi bola: "Janab ab tak iss Car k 10 accidnt ho chukay hain aur hairat ki baat ye hai k hr accidnt men sirf or sirf "Bv" hi mari hai."
Aadmi-

"40 lakh..;-)

 

[Sugarcane]

I Love this Doctor !!!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

 

[jha]

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."

He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request.

She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."

"No, I won't."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said, "See I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you."

 

[jha]

A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. So they decided to pull over and park and have some fun.

Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to what was going on outside.

All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window. The cop could hardly contain himself.

"Didn't you know that you are not supposed to be having se* in public?" he asked the couple.

Being embarrassed by being caught, said yes and apologized.

"Well," he said, "I will have to write you a ticket."

So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behavior. After getting dressed the girlfriend asked her boyfriend what the policeman wrote the ticket for.

He responded, "Doing 69 in a 35 mph speed zone!"

---------- Post added at 01:47 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:45 AM ----------

In a party, a General proudly said that he did 10 times with his wife on his wedding night.

A Brigadier next to him said that he did it 6 times before going to sleep the first night.

A Colonel claimed, he did it 4 times on his first night.

The General then turned towards a young Lieutenant and asked how many times did he do on his wedding night?

The Lieutenant replied: Only once sir.

The General laughed loudly and asked: WHY?
The Lieutenant replied: My wife wasn't used to it sir!

 

[Drawn_Sword_of_God]

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.

 

[F86 Saber]

Molvi Bus main ja raha tha, Agli seat per baithi aurat baar baar apnay bachay ko keh rahi thi "Beta ye halwa kha lo werna main is Molvi ko day dun ge". Jab chothi baar aurat nay ye kaha to Molvi tang aa ker bola "Bibi jaldi faisla ker lo tumharay halway kay chakar mein main 4 stop aagay aa gaya hun" :-D

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Sardar ke maa ke death ho gae, ek sal baad sardar ka baap America say wapis aya to us nay pucha teria maa kaha hain. Sardar bola wo to pichlay saal he mer gae thi. Sardar ka baap ronay laga aur bola kuttay, kameenay tu nay mujhe bataya kion nahin Sardar Bola " Main nay socha surprise dun ga" :-D

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MD was walking in the factory when he saw a guy leaning against the wall looking here and there. He walked up to him and asked "How much do you earn?" He said " Rs. 2000 per month sir". The MD took out his wallet gave him RS.6000 and told him" Here is your salary for three months, i don't pay people to stand around, get lost and never come back" The guy took the money and hurrid away. The MD asked his manager "Who was he" The manager replied " Sir he was the pizza delivery guy"

Moral: Har jagha Chaudhary banna bhi acha nahin hota :-D