Joke

[Levina]

Were you in any doubt before?

Well all these days you sounded very sane. So yes I am surprised....
But many members from pdf will soon be joining you so am glad too.

 

[Indischer]

Well all these days you sounded very sane. So yes I am surprised....
But many members from pdf will soon be joining you so am glad too.

Mein toh nanhasa, pyaarasa, chotasa.... PAGLA hoon

Seriously, I've invited plenty of criticism in my life for failing to think like Normal people.

 

[Levina]

Seriously, I've invited plenty of criticism in my life for failing to think like Normal people.

Then those around you were definitely not normal.

 

[Khan_patriot]

hahahahah

 

[MastanKhan]

Had a hearty laugh.....and looks like I need a bed there.

Make that two.

 

[Dem!god]

 

[MohitV]

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[Dubious]

@Armstrong Is he some sort of distant relative of yours:

 

[Dubious]

 

[Dem!god]

"This is a lesson in logic," said the old professor in the teahouse. "If the show starts at nine and dinner is at six, and my son has the measles, and my brother drives a Cadillac, how old am I?"

"You are eighty-four," replied Mulla Nasruddin promptly.

"Right," said the professor. "Now tell the rest of the fellows here how you arrived at the correct answer."

"It is easy," said Nasruddin. "I have got an uncle who is forty-two, and he is only half nuts. You must be eighty-four."
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Pappu to his Mom: Mumma... Main kaise paida hua tha?

Mom: Maine ek box me mitti daal kar rakh di thi, kuch din baad uss mein se tum mile mujhe.

Pappu did the same thing...

Jab Kuch din baad usne jaa kar box khola aur dekha ki usmein ek Cockroach tha.

Pappu (Gussey se): Dil to karta hai ki tujhe goli maar dun... Par kya karu..!? Aaulad hai tu meri...!!!
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Jeeto, ek dum khush ho ke: Kya baat hai Jee, aaj toh meri Photo-Pe-Photo kheenche ja rahe ho?

Santa: Bas aise hi... dil kar raha hai.

Jeeto: Kya mein itni hot and smart lag rahi hun aaj?

Sata: Arre kuchh nahin pagli, aaj mere sarr pe Wild Life Photography ka bhoot sawaar Hai...
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1st Aadmi : Bhagwan main doctor hoon aur maine logo ki bahot sewa ki hai mujhe swarg mein aane do.

Bhawan: Nahi tum andar nahi aa sakte.

2nd Aadmi: Bhagwan main Brahmin hoon aur maine sari zindagi aapki pooja ki hai mujhe swarg mein aane do.

Bhagwan : Nahi tum bhi andar nahi aa sakte.

3rd Aadmi: Prabhu main shaadi shuda hoon.

Bhagwaan: Bas kar pagle rulayega kya, chal andar swarg mein aaja.
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Ek gaon me bijli aane waali thi. Wahan ke sabhi log khush the...

Bijli aane ki khushi mein sab gaon waale jhum rahe the, nach rahe the, gaa rahe the, celebrations chal rahi thi...

Wahin ek kutta bhi jhum-jhum ke nach raha tha... enjoy kar raha tha ann bada hi khush tha.

Gaon ke ek admi ne kutte se puchha, "Are bhai tun kyo nach raha hai ?

Kutta bola, "Bijli ayegi to khambe bhi to lagenge...."

@levina @chak de INDIA @Indischer @BDforever

 

[Dem!god]

 

[OrionHunter]

FACTS!

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.


Women
will be finished reading this by now.

Men
are still busy checking their thumbs!!!!

 

[vicky sen]

Men
are still busy checking their thumbs!!!!

I went ROFL after this.

 

[Dem!god]

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"

"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2."
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Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user...

Help-desk: Mam, please double click on 'My Computer'.

Lady: I can't see your computer.

Help-desk: No... Click on 'My Computer' on your computer.

Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ?

Help-desk: There is an icon labelled 'My Computer' on your computer... double click on it.

Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ? The help-desk boy put down the phone.
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A man fron UP is introducing his family:

1. Yeh hai meri biwi..... Google Raani... Ek sawal poocho toh 10 jawab deti hai...!!!

2. Yeh hai mera beta.... Facebook Kumar... Ghar ki baat sare colony tak pahuchata hai...!!!

3. Yeh hai meri beti.... Twitter Kumari... Poori colony isko folow karti hai...!!!

4. Aur mein, mein hun Orkut Kumar... Mujhe koi puchhta hi nahi...!!!
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Bechaara shaadi shuda aadmi dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta...

Wife: I love you baby.
Husband (softly): I love you too.
Wife: Upset kyun lag rahe ho...??? Husband: Bas thoda mood off tha.
Wife: Doston ke saath to bade khush rehte ho, aur mere saath hi drame.
Husband (pyar se): Aisa kuch nahi jaanu, tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai.
Wife: Haan, agar abhi koi dost phone kare to 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi.
Husband: Dost kahan se aa gaye, mera mood thoda upset hai bas.
Wife: Mere saath hi ye sab hota hai, friends ke saath enjoy karte ho, badi has has ke pictures click karwate ho. Ya koi aur ladki pasand aa gayi..??
Husband (aur jyada pyar se): Arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho?
Wife: Aaj sab clear hoga !!
Husband: Kya clear karna hai jaanu, aisa kya ho gaya??
Wife (khud confused): Jab tum khud clear nahi, tumhe kuch pata nahi to main kya bolun..!!
Husband (trying to act smart): Tumhe hua kya hai ?? Kis baat pe upset ho ?? Batao!!
Wife: Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai !!
Husband: Mere saath to tum ho!!
Wife: Ab bohut ho gaya, ab aur nahi!!
Husband (fully crashed): Yeh toh bata do ki hua kya hai ?
Wife: Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte?
Husband: Ye baat kahan se aayi?
Wife: I want Divorce.
Husband: Hmmmm OK !!
Wife (gone crazy): Haan, yehi chahte ho tum to, phir tum jo marzi kar sako.
Husband: Arrey tumne khudne bola abhi, maine kya galat kaha??
Wife: Itni problem thi to bola kyun nahi, main khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se.
Husband (apne baal pakad kar): Mujhe meri galti toh bata do.
Wife: Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab main chali jaungi.
Husband: Achcha, to main wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka.
Wife: Tum serious kab hoge??
Husband: Ab kya hospital mein admit ho jaun, serious hone ke liye?
Wife: Go to hell!!!

AFTER 3 HOURS.
Wife: Tumhe pata hai na, main tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu, sorry !!! I love you my baby.
Husband (Sab bhool kar): Achcha, Really!!! I love you tooo...
Wife: Upset kyun lag rahe ho ?............... !!!

@levina @chak de INDIA @Indischer @Ravi Nair

 

[aniqa]

ma'am nishat(late) and aniqa hahahahahaahhaha
"akhir aniqa ap kab sudhrain gin" this post reminds me of ma'am nishat