In a major breakthrough, Iran has just sent a
monkey into space. The smart simian, sources
said, underwent intensive training before
making the giant leap. He also rejected a role in
the sequel to the remake of the film Planet of the
Apes and chose to help the Iranian space programme instead. A livid United States has imposed sanctions on all
monkeys and countries dealing with monkeys.
As a result, business has come to a standstill in
many Indian institutions. The US called Iran's move an attempt at guerilla
warfare and branded the monkey a spy,
immediately declaring it simian non-grata. Officials of the Iranian space agency refused to
comment on the exact role of the monkey in
space. They also rejected speculation of the
astronaut being an ugly dwarf in a space suit
who just resembles a monkey. "It is a real
monkey. It has a red posterior," an official of the Iranian space agency assured reporters. A scientist on condition of anonymity told
Mocktale that the monkey would carry out crucial
experiments in space which would include
breathing, consuming bananas intravenously,
watching reality TV shows and attempting to
scratch his orifices. Interestingly, Iran's space project was sponsored
by a chocolate malt drink for kids. It has a tag line
that starts with "Monkey shakti, tank ki shakti...."
Etc. Of course, the monkey has already taken his
favourite drink with him, the Orange-u-Tang. Mocktale's in-house expert Professor Iknow
Jackshit praised the launch. "Flying a rocket
requires a lot of ape-lication," he said. However, India, that managed to send a man into
space before a monkey, is outraged that Iran
didn't take permission before sending one of our
gods into space. Iran responded by saying
Indians also worship cows but a cow already
jumped over the moon. Now, various protests have been planned all over
India to protest this "blasphemy" by Iran. Amid all this drama, radio intercepts heard a
voice that could only belong to a monkey say:
"Houston, we have a problem!" A reply was heard from India's PMO: "Theek hai!"
Iran sends monkey into space, US calls it a spy - The Times of India