Gender Selection : Choosing the Sex of Your Child

[Proudpakistaniguy]

I have started this topic because recently came across a family who is desperate to have a baby boy after having three girls in their family . They don't hate daughters but also want to have son for family balancing. Those with two boys will probably desire for girl as its natural to go after things which we don't have .

There are also many social, economic or cultural circumstances which put couples under this pressure to produce a child of a specific gender. Parent in subcontinent have more expectations form sons to look after them in their old age as they have seen other old people struggling during illness and helplessness of old age when they had no male relatives around them to provide them help not just financially but physically and emotionally . Our parent have this perception about daughters that they be gone one day with their husband after marriage and husband will become their first priority before parent and girls are not strong enough to provide physical help

Now we have witnessed many cases in Pakistan where married couples ended up with 5/6 girls in attempt of getting boys and then these girls often become unwanted who don't get this proper attention and love they deserve and since abortion is wrong in Islam so our people don't go for it even when they don't want girls so there is procedure of gender selection which is illegal in UK, China, Australia etc but is legal in some countries like Pakistan. This medical procedure of gender selection is known as Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) which allows embryos to be tested for gender-related genetic conditions, prior to being placed in the womb, giving the best opportunity to select the gender of your baby

There are many fertility clinics in Pakistan who offer gender selection for few lakhs and this family is interested to attend one of these centre in their next visit to Pakistan
http://starivf.com/index.php

I want to know your thoughts on this? Is it morally/ethically wrong for parent to prefer one gender over others ? or even when they don't prefer sons over daughters but still thinking that son is must for family. Should not we eliminate those social and cultural reasons for which parent prefer sons over daughter because of fear of old age and helplessness they will face in final stages of their life?

Note : Its serious topic so avoid trolling please

 

[JOEY TRIBIANI]

Natural balance? Let mother nature do its work .

 

[Divergent]

This practice and mentality needs to be ridden of. It's a practice which no one should encourage and no man/family should put the blame (as they do in some areas) on the Women, the seed is planted via the Male. See it as a blessing and be grateful:

1) You have Children
2) It's healthy Child

Yes attempt and try but don't discriminate. Who knows those females may bring more 'honour' to the family than the male? A blessing in disguise.

Lastly their choice on whether they choose to go ahead or not.

 

[Proudpakistaniguy]

Natural balance? Let mother nature do its work .

How ? You mean couple should keep trying naturally even if they end up with 6/7 girls in attempt of getting boy from mother nature ..

This practice and mentality needs to be ridden of. It's a practice which no one should encourage and no man/family should put the blame (as they do in some areas) on the Woman, the seed is planted via the Male. See it as a blessing and be grateful:

1) You have a Childten
2) It's healthy Child

Yes attempt and try but don't discriminate. Who knows those females may bring more 'honour' to the family than the male? A blessing in disguise.

Lastly their choice on whether they choose to go ahead or not.

So you are in favour that parent should not be able to choose the sex of their children especially if they already had three or four children of the same sex? Its not about just boys . Some family with 3 sons would also desire for daughter to feel their experience as well. Discrimination is not the issue in here . They are not opting for boy because they hate girls

I also gave them same lectures about morality but you can only understand them if you put yourself in their shoes and no one is blaming women in here especially not the family I am talking about. They love their daughters as well and don't consider them burden but has desire of son for some cultural reasons mentioned above. These guys know this basic science that its men who carry X and Y chromosome( which determine the gender) that's why going after this medical procedure which sort out these chromosome and its mostly mothers who have this desire of having son as well

and let say someone content with three girls and provide them good education and fulfil all their responsibilities and then they get marriage so then who will look after old parent ? Their excuse was that parent stay with sons not with daughters in old age . They also said that who will take care of family if anything happen to father and they have no son to take responsibility of mother and sisters . Look at it from Pakistani perspective

 

[Yaseen1]

it is impossible to select gender of child of your own choice.All organisations who claim this are fooling public to steal their money and are fraud.If ALLAH ALMIGHTY give this authority to man then there will be imbalance in ratio of male to female as in some areas people will prefer more male babies and in some areas people will prefer more female babies

 

[Proudpakistaniguy]

it is impossible to select gender of child of your own choice.All organisations who claim this are fooling public to steal their money and are fraud.If ALLAH ALMIGHTY give this authority to man then there will be imbalance in ratio of male to female as in some areas people will prefer more male babies and in some areas people will prefer more female babies

Its not impossible and there is already imbalance of gender in some family when they have either girls or boys but not boht because of which people are going after this. There are different methods to achieve this

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_selection#Methods

Sperm sorting separates X-chromosome (female) sperm from Y-chromosome (male) sperm ,both of which determine the sex of the offspring.

This means that if the couple wants a female baby, the Y-carrying sperm cells are removed; if the couple wants a male baby, then the X-carrying sperm are removed. In this way, the percentage of desired gender-determining genetic material is increased in the seminal fluid.

To complete the MicroSort® gender selection process, the enriched seminal fluid is then used in conjunction with intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization, or intracytoplasmic sperm injection.

 

[Manama]

Ofcourse first we had these misogynists leave women in hospital for giving birth to a girl, or get a second wife. Not knowing that gender comes from the dad. Now we have this "parhay likhay jahil".

Those who support this because the parents had 3-5 children of the same s ex and now want different. First if someone is having that many kids and isn't a millionare, they should look into the mirror, be ashamed and go buy birth control or protection.

This straight ahead disgusting, and using culture is a petty excuse. Rather than fixing our culture, lets fix our morals and biology smh. Rather than having 10 kids in hope of having a boy, have one or two and be done with it. Someone's son isn't his/her caretaker, don't give birth to him and ruin his adulthood by sticking to him like a leech.
Any one who has a kid in hope that his/her kid will support them, its not the kid's responsibility to support his parents like a baby sitter. If you can be bothered to give birth and raise a kid, save that money for getting a maid.

There are people who can't have a single child at all, i bet anyone sensible who is pregnant doesn't go and feel sad because the child is a boy or girl, they are happy because its their child. I can't help but think of people who prefer one child over the other as pathetic.
The problem also arises from the concept that "girls will go away soon". Its the right of the child to have a separate home, doesn't matter which gender, or martial status. People are quick to bring religion in talking about their right as parents, forgetting the rights of kids, not preferring one gender over the other, and giving them separate homes and privacy.
Hypocrisy at its finest.

it is impossible to select gender of child of your own choice.All organisations who claim this are fooling public to steal their money and are fraud.If ALLAH ALMIGHTY give this authority to man then there will be imbalance in ratio of male to female as in some areas people will prefer more male babies and in some areas people will prefer more female babies

its possible lol

 

[Yaseen1]

its possible in your dreams only

Ofcourse first we had these misogynists leave women in hospital for giving birth to a girl, or get a second wife. Not knowing that gender comes from the dad. Now we have this "parhay likhay jahil".

Those who support this because the parents had 3-5 children of the same s ex and now want different. First if someone is having that many kids and isn't a millionare, they should look into the mirror, be ashamed and go buy birth control or protection.

This straight ahead disgusting, and using culture is a petty excuse. Rather than fixing our culture, lets fix our morals and biology smh. Rather than having 10 kids in hope of having a boy, have one or two and be done with it. Someone's son isn't his/her caretaker, don't give birth to him and ruin his adulthood by sticking to him like a leech.
Any one who has a kid in hope that his/her kid will support them, its not the kid's responsibility to support his parents like a baby sitter. If you can be bothered to give birth and raise a kid, save that money for getting a maid.

There are people who can't have a single child at all, i bet anyone sensible who is pregnant doesn't go and feel sad because the child is a boy or girl, they are happy because its their child. I can't help but think of people who prefer one child over the other as pathetic.
The problem also arises from the concept that "girls will go away soon". Its the right of the child to have a separate home, doesn't matter which gender, or martial status. People are quick to bring religion in talking about their right as parents, forgetting the rights of kids, not preferring one gender over the other, and giving them separate homes and privacy.
Hypocrisy at its finest.


its possible lol

 

[cocomo]

Ofcourse first we had these misogynists leave women in hospital for giving birth to a girl, or get a second wife.

Obviously they didn't know they can try again instead of getting a second wife. Who are these stupid people?

Someone's son isn't his/her caretaker, don't give birth to him and ruin his adulthood by sticking to him like a leech.

Family and not the individual is the unit of a society in Islamic understanding hence family members have rights over each other.

 

[Manama]

its possible in your dreams only

its possible, people do it. Don't make religion an excuse to be stupid. Science is a thing that works.

 

[Yaseen1]

only works for those who have money.I will consider it effective only when it works for free for every body as religion benefits everyone for free

its possible, people do it. Don't make religion an excuse to be stupid. Science is a thing that works.

 

[Proudpakistaniguy]

Ofcourse first we had these misogynists leave women in hospital for giving birth to a girl, or get a second wife. Not knowing that gender comes from the dad. Now we have this "parhay likhay jahil".

Those who support this because the parents had 3-5 children of the same s ex and now want different. First if someone is having that many kids and isn't a millionare, they should look into the mirror, be ashamed and go buy birth control or protection.

This straight ahead disgusting, and using culture is a petty excuse. Rather than fixing our culture, lets fix our morals and biology smh. Rather than having 10 kids in hope of having a boy, have one or two and be done with it. Someone's son isn't his/her caretaker, don't give birth to him and ruin his adulthood by sticking to him like a leech.
Any one who has a kid in hope that his/her kid will support them, its not the kid's responsibility to support his parents like a baby sitter. If you can be bothered to give birth and raise a kid, save that money for getting a maid.

There are people who can't have a single child at all, i bet anyone sensible who is pregnant doesn't go and feel sad because the child is a boy or girl, they are happy because its their child. I can't help but think of people who prefer one child over the other as pathetic.
The problem also arises from the concept that "girls will go away soon". Its the right of the child to have a separate home, doesn't matter which gender, or martial status. People are quick to bring religion in talking about their right as parents, forgetting the rights of kids, not preferring one gender over the other, and giving them separate homes and privacy.
Hypocrisy at its finest.

its possible lol

I agree with some of your points but you are pretty harsh so tell me then what is your solution for old parent in our society with no kids or just girls. Do you have concept of old homes for them or even carers ? maids are not solution because they have no emotional attachment with you and just work for money . they will not give you that emotional comfort which you get form your own children. When you are in old age then you actually become as helpless as you are in your childhood when you depend on others for everything and things actually become worse if these old people ever get long term illness and depend on others for as simple thing as eating or going to toilet without any help.

only works for those who have money.I will consider it effective only when it works for free for every body as religion benefits everyone for free

It work for as cheap as one lakh rupees

 

[Manama]

Obviously they didn't know they can try again instead of getting a second wife. Who are these stupid people?

Family and not the individual is the unit of a society in Islamic understanding hence family members have rights over each other.

People do it all the time, in one of the hospitals someone close to me was working at, they mentioned how every once in a while in the Gyne ward, people would leave the woman and new born daughter, and end all contact and not pick the woman up. There are also been multiple second weddings because of this reason. Sad state of society.

Family has rights over each other, but to fulfill those rights you don't kill their private life. For example its pretty normal for people here in Pakistan to live in a joint family system even though joint family system is considered unislamic and toxic. And it is the right of someone to have a separate home after marriage. But oh no they aren't going to fulfill the rights of the son and his wife to let them live separately, but cooking and cleaning for them? its a must.
Its the right of any woman to refuse to take care of her in laws since according to Islam, she is only responsible for her own parents, not her husband's and vice versa. But God forbid if someone openly refuses.
Family means parents- siblings - kids and significant others. People often tend to confuse family with relatives.

People only care about their own rights, when it comes to fulfilling other's, suddenly there is an issue.

 

[Yaseen1]

one lakh is too expensive for poor people first try to make it as cheap as natural birth

 

[Proudpakistaniguy]

Obviously they didn't know they can try again instead of getting a second wife. Who are these stupid people?

couples can off course try again and again but if they dont involve this gender selection procedure then it will be always fifty fifty chance of getting either boys or girls and many couple will end up with so many girls or boys in hope of getting opposite as abortion is haram and you cannot kill fetus in womb

one lakh is too expensive for poor people first try to make it as cheap as natural birth

People pay 20 to 50 thousand Rupees just for normal delivery in hospital and it exclude all others medicines and test/xrays which women need during pregnancy . Nothing is free in this world