Allow me to add one more to these......
There was once an Indian and an Pakistani who were neighbours. The Pakistani owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Indian's garden. He was about to go for it when he saw the Indian pick up the egg. The Pakistani ran up to the Indian and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Indian disagreed because the egg was laid in his garden.
They argued for a while until finally the Pakistani said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the ba*** and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the ba*** and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Indian agreed to this and so the Pakistani found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Indian and kicked as hard as he could in the ba***. The Indian fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Indian stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Pakistani said, "Keep the damn egg!"