Usually, when it's a friend or some random individual talking, I confront them strongly. But when a mosque or Imam spreads them in a large gathering, I don't.
Simply because a) They're too many and too thick-skulled b) I don't have time for hours long debates and c) I can't carry a gun here in the UK
In seminars and among civilized people, I confront extremism strongly. What is needed is a proper, united movement that allows us to confront mullahs in mosques and in their speeches, in a lawful and civilized manner as to not provoke violence. A good example would be the Lal Masjid protest. That kind of stuff needs to happen more often.
You are perfectly right about the ulama. The best indication for this is the CII - Council of 'Islamic Ideology' in Pakistan - the only recent legislation(s) they tried to pass were legalizing child marriages and revoking a woman's right to object to her husband's second or third or fourth marriage. Pathetic. Also, they debated for months on the validity of DNA tests in rape cases. They were silent on all the murders, sectarian violence, terrorism - all of it. Pieces of garbage.