Perhaps its best to adopt a more sympathetic view of the Vietnamese social context , namely the Vietnamese anti-imperialist struggle with the Japanese, French, American, and to an extent, the Khmer Rouge. You have to understand that the Vietnamese , well modern Vietnamese, social construct is not a purely synthetic to China's constructivism, but , rather, is a reactionary provision to external forces that have impeded Vietnamese State Identity. I suppose China hasn't been much of an existential threat to Vietnam, so to say, since the 1850s. The 1850s onward, I think Vietnam's greatest existential threat was French Imperialism, the Japanese Imperialism, second was the notion of Foreign Adventurist Interventionism (America in SVN), and to a lesser extent the role of China in Vietnam's Policy of Stabilizing Kampuchea (Cambodia) from Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge Regime.
Lastly, I would reiterate you adopt a more sympathetic constructivist view. It would diffuse misunderstanding, garner more trust, and facilitate and cultivate an environment for healthy debate and discussion rather than the typical repudiation.
Well, in my solemn defense, I never grew up in a Communist State. I grew up in a Democracy all my life (Japan) and then for the past 10 years in the United States. So , that said, I can only infer knowledge from readings and application of political theories. I suppose you and other Vietnamese would have the ability to offer more grass-roots level application.