Bharat Muslim
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Case Study: Does the brother-sister bond vanish after marriage?
We have two houses, one on the ground floor and one on the above floor. For many years, we kept the upper house vacant because we don’t want the headache of tenants. My sister resides in another town but her daughter got admission to a college in our town. My sister asked if she can stay in our above house till her daughter’s graduation is over. We let her in the upper house for free of cost for the obvious reason that she is of our family. So my sister and my niece moved to that floor and are staying without paying a single penny. Lest you misunderstand, let me tell you money is not the issue here. My brother-in-law didn’t accompany them because of job. Thus my brother-in-law doesn’t come into picture.
We have always kept our computer system on the upper floor even before they moved in. For any computer activity I go there. The computer is in a remote corner of the hall. I keep to myself and don’t bother anyone. If someone still feels disturbed they have the privacy of two fine bedrooms to choose from.
There is not much affection between me and my niece because over the years there has been lack of sufficient contact.
Originally my sister was okay if I did computers in that house. How did her opinion changed? My niece feels my presence there is unjustified. It is as if a stranger has entered their house. My sister surprisingly toes her line. My niece asks my sister questions like, “When will he leave? How long will he sit here?” My sister in turn asks those questions to me. At the behest of my niece, my sister complains to our parents that I use computer for activities unrelated to my job. As my niece gets impatient with my regular visits, she privately tells my sister, “I feel so angry that I get the urge to beat him up.” After this utterance, my sister also starts feeling the same. My niece suggests buying their own lock to prevent my entry to above house. And my sister promptly complies. My sister concurs with my niece every time and makes sarcastic comments about me. Now I find it a bit humorous. Young healthy mother gets programmed by teenaged daughter in a negative way. Does she have a mind of her own? Hee! Hee!
Due to such constant scorning, I myself feel uncomfortable going to my own house where they are using a freebie. The niece’s behavior is understandable but why does my sister agree with her? I pointed out and explained that we are blood siblings and the house belongs to our parents. Still she looks at me as if a thief entered their house.
Now I have a question. Is all this normal? Does most women’s priority change after marriage? Does, in every case, the brother-sister bond vanish after marriage? Do all women think that only husband, children and in-laws are relatives and parents and siblings cease to be relative? Kya sabhi behene shaadi ke baad parayi ho jati hai? Are every sisters like this or does this one has a warped mind? How would women you personally know respond if their children made above type demands?
Once our parents made clear their stand, the sister-niece duo stopped complaining only in our presence. I hardly need to tell this stoppage isn’t the same as the due respect. They still believe they are doing a favour by letting a BLOOD-BROTHER into a house which neither belongs to them nor is being paid for.
Edit-Add: After reading some dirty insinuations, I had to add this paragraph. Above narration is about my first didi. The niece shows such disrespect to our parents (i.e. her maternal grandparents) also. She used that “When will they leave” line for grandparents also. That’s why mom, dad and second didi are supporting me only. I will paste second didi’s opinion to clarify the matter. I thought normally didis reprimand this kind of kids by saying, “You should not talk like that. They are grandparents and uncle. If you are getting distracted, go to bedroom and study.” Instead, my first didi’s actions are influenced by her daughter! Questions arise about this didi's brain.
We have two houses, one on the ground floor and one on the above floor. For many years, we kept the upper house vacant because we don’t want the headache of tenants. My sister resides in another town but her daughter got admission to a college in our town. My sister asked if she can stay in our above house till her daughter’s graduation is over. We let her in the upper house for free of cost for the obvious reason that she is of our family. So my sister and my niece moved to that floor and are staying without paying a single penny. Lest you misunderstand, let me tell you money is not the issue here. My brother-in-law didn’t accompany them because of job. Thus my brother-in-law doesn’t come into picture.
We have always kept our computer system on the upper floor even before they moved in. For any computer activity I go there. The computer is in a remote corner of the hall. I keep to myself and don’t bother anyone. If someone still feels disturbed they have the privacy of two fine bedrooms to choose from.
There is not much affection between me and my niece because over the years there has been lack of sufficient contact.
Originally my sister was okay if I did computers in that house. How did her opinion changed? My niece feels my presence there is unjustified. It is as if a stranger has entered their house. My sister surprisingly toes her line. My niece asks my sister questions like, “When will he leave? How long will he sit here?” My sister in turn asks those questions to me. At the behest of my niece, my sister complains to our parents that I use computer for activities unrelated to my job. As my niece gets impatient with my regular visits, she privately tells my sister, “I feel so angry that I get the urge to beat him up.” After this utterance, my sister also starts feeling the same. My niece suggests buying their own lock to prevent my entry to above house. And my sister promptly complies. My sister concurs with my niece every time and makes sarcastic comments about me. Now I find it a bit humorous. Young healthy mother gets programmed by teenaged daughter in a negative way. Does she have a mind of her own? Hee! Hee!
Due to such constant scorning, I myself feel uncomfortable going to my own house where they are using a freebie. The niece’s behavior is understandable but why does my sister agree with her? I pointed out and explained that we are blood siblings and the house belongs to our parents. Still she looks at me as if a thief entered their house.
Now I have a question. Is all this normal? Does most women’s priority change after marriage? Does, in every case, the brother-sister bond vanish after marriage? Do all women think that only husband, children and in-laws are relatives and parents and siblings cease to be relative? Kya sabhi behene shaadi ke baad parayi ho jati hai? Are every sisters like this or does this one has a warped mind? How would women you personally know respond if their children made above type demands?
Once our parents made clear their stand, the sister-niece duo stopped complaining only in our presence. I hardly need to tell this stoppage isn’t the same as the due respect. They still believe they are doing a favour by letting a BLOOD-BROTHER into a house which neither belongs to them nor is being paid for.
Edit-Add: After reading some dirty insinuations, I had to add this paragraph. Above narration is about my first didi. The niece shows such disrespect to our parents (i.e. her maternal grandparents) also. She used that “When will they leave” line for grandparents also. That’s why mom, dad and second didi are supporting me only. I will paste second didi’s opinion to clarify the matter. I thought normally didis reprimand this kind of kids by saying, “You should not talk like that. They are grandparents and uncle. If you are getting distracted, go to bedroom and study.” Instead, my first didi’s actions are influenced by her daughter! Questions arise about this didi's brain.
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