i have personal experience....gone through some horrible things in life..am alive and well.....not sure were u saw me judge someone ....
Hi,
Why do people commit suicide and why some of them take their children with them? In 2007 recession---when I lost my job---and then the newly purchase mansion---I experience the dilemma first hand---the times were tough---saving all going faster than they were accumulated---managerial jobs non existant---sales jobs---i had forgotten how to sell.
Even my young kids got tired of seeing me at home---they would ask their mom---'why doesn't he go out and get a job'. They were desperate times---they were dark times---and then there were very dark moments in my life---. My wife also tired of me. One night I am sitting at the edge of the 'dark hole'---thinking that at least my children would be better off---at least they would get the benefits till they are adults and so would my wife get my survival benefits---but I chickened out at the last moment---I thought of my children and the rest of my family---. I said to myself---they don't deserve this---they don't to live through this---they have not done anything wrong---what right do I have to take it away from them.
As I stepped back---I staretd looking at life with a new challenge---the fear of failure left me---I was afraid not more---I---once again became a salesman---I tell you---the transition was brutal to the psyche---me in my 50's---competing with youn kids in their 20's with endless energy---. I regained my old self in due time---it was extremely stressful as I had forgotten all about the first hand salesman to a customer at the ini9tial handshake moment---but the worse thing was to see so many incompetent manager having secure jobs. That was the hardest part to get over.
But when I got going---I excelled like never before---that moment at the brink of the 'black hole' had taken away all my inhibitions and fears.
I survived the reccession of 2007---2009---I could over come any obstacles. I felt the pain of so many of those who took their lives and also took the lives of their families and children----. I suffered the pain like I have suffered no other pain---. My only wish was if I could to talk to people during their moment of distress and tell them my story.
When it all staretd---I felt extremely humiliated and felt degraded---facing my children had become extremely embarassing---I had not even made the first monthly payment of my house---I could not talk to anyone---not to friends or colleagues---no one---somehow the conversation opened up in front of my neighbour---. She was so kind to me and my wife---she gave us both a hug and told us things will be alright---you can only control what you can---.
We all make that fatal mistake----when we say and think---what will the neighbours say---what will my relatives say---oh they live laugh at me---they will be making fun behind my back---my friends will reject me---I will be the laughing stock of the community.
You know as it turns out---it is all in the head---these are all mind games---I was fortunate---that I came across compassionate people---.
Once I came back from the verge of oblivian---I started talking to my colleagues---people strangers---I realized that I was not the only one---so many had lost their assets and resource---I would talk to them and share with them where I had been and how I pulled myself up---for me---it was my children---that made it happen---if it was not for them---who knows what could have happened.
As for the young 26 years old---I feel your pain---I feel the agony that you went through---failure rejection depression those are terrible things togo through at such a young age---specially depression.
I feel that one of my saving grace was that I did not suffer from any depression--- ijust made a finacial calculation and decided that my children would be better off financially without me---but my emotional attachment to them pulled me up to fight for them one more time.
So many souls who have lost the fight to live do not have anything left to pull them out---but others have made that fatal mistake of taking their family alongwith them for the final journey---the last ones---do not deserve any sympathy of any kind---.
