waz
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You are right about hazrat umar r.a here in the UK it's been like this since the first pakistani men arrived in the UK according to my late grandfather. If someone did a independent survey of the british pak community they would find a astounding number of single women who simply can't get married because Muslim men prefer to commit zina with white women and later go to pakistan to get a virgin wife.
Most second and third generation muslim women don't wish to marry from abroad hence the large amount of single women. Many of my school friends were taken out of school unable to complete there education and forcefully married off in pakistan they were all under age 16.
It won't surprise you that those marriages ended in divorce and many of the girls are now life long user's of anti depressants due to what they have suffered. Many girls who wish to avoid such a fate end up running away.
I know the question wasn't directed at me but I would like to give you a female perspective if I may. Raising children in the West is not easy especially in a liberal country like the UK where most people are atheist.
Having said that it has a lot to do with parenting, the street I grew up in all 6 families where pakistani, over time every single family had their young girls run away. Why ? Because they treated their sons and daughters differently and their sons where allowed pretty much complete freedom to do what they like. Their daughters complete opposite so they ran away.
It really comes down to good parenting. .
Yes, with non muslims and many simply run away on there own to escape violence, forced marriage etc. You honestly would be shocked at the amount of young girls that run away each year from our community all due to being mistreated by their parents. It's a very big problem which has gone on for decades , and I have never seen it being addressed properly.
Well said sister, well said. As a community we committed terrible zulam on our young women. Denied opportunities in education, work and just confined to a fate of getting married early and having kids, then it's housebound after that. Don't even get me started on marriage! These hypocritical, idiotic parents would bring home Bollywood film after Bollywood film, and what do you expect our girls to think i.e. that one day they would to meet the guy of their dreams, and get hitched and live a happy ever after.
How wrong they were. Once they hit 18/21 it was off to Pakistan to marry an uneducated cousin/acquaintance of the family etc. Many of the men would come over, work minimum wage (no fault of their own) and didn't understand the value of education. The poor girls would be expected to stay at home and raise the kids like a dutiful wife. Marriages would be devoid of love, many times it was a marriage of connivance. Economically the community fell behind, as the only wage earner would work a low paid job, whilst our Indian counterparts, marrying other like minded and educated Indians, both high wage earners, surged ahead.
I worked in security parti-time during my university days at a female shelter and came across cases that were heart breaking, just like you said women single and with children fleeing abuse from families. Fortunately many woke up and began to do things, for example I'm currently actively involved with a excellent shelter for Muslim women, and many of the girls are Pakistani. They have a safe place, we help their children and ensure they can get off their feet.
These girls are the lost generation i.e. the ones who grew up in the 80's and 90's.
However things have greatly changed, young Pakistani women are now being raised by a generation more educated and in tune with the development needs of our women. Forced marriage is rare, girls have good careers, they usually find their own marriage partners and our community has started to lift itself and call out evils we see. There's still a way to go, but then these were deep rooted issues.
You are also right to call out the double standards, whilst our women have always been great, they still faced the greatest scrutiny! Many boys fell into lives of crime (drugs mainly), fornicated and produced kids outside wedlock (usually white girls), and went to prison. But did anyone say our boys had done wrong, or called for change? Nope, they either brushed it under the carpet, heck even greeted such criminal vermin with joy.
Anyway just a few thoughts.
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