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Ambitious New High-Speed Rail Plan Will Fly Americans To Japan To Use Their Trains

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Ambitious New High-Speed Rail Plan Will Fly Americans To Japan To Use Their Trains
NewsScience & Technologytraveltechnologypublic transportation ISSUE 50•40 • Oct 10, 2014

847806d0e0bf72fac4b5e664a73780e7.jpg

Obama says his high-speed rail plan will allow U.S. citizens to travel virtually anywhere in Japan safely, dependably, and efficiently.

WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring the United States’ transportation network “into the 21st century,” President Barack Obama unveiled an ambitious new high-speed rail plan Friday that will fly Americans to Japan in order to use the island nation’s extensive, state-of-the-art train system.

According to the president, the $80 billion initiative will subsidize airline tickets between the U.S. and several major Japanese cities, allowing the American people to enjoy all the benefits of a modernized network of high-speed trains as soon as their international flights touch down in the East Asian country.

“After years of lagging behind other industrialized nations, this new plan at last provides our citizens with a cutting-edge passenger train network that will rival the world’s most advanced transit systems,” said Obama at a morning press conference, touting Japan’s fast, safe, and comfortable Shinkansen rail network as a vital upgrade to the U.S.’s outdated Amtrak service. “Under this new plan, all Americans will be able to travel quickly and reliably between hundreds of destinations by simply taking a trans-Pacific flight across nine time zones and then boarding one of dozens of lightning-fast, ultramodern trains.”

“The transit system that the U.S. has needed for so long is now just a 7,000-mile plane journey to Tokyo’s Narita International Airport and a brief passage through Japanese customs away,” Obama continued.

In his speech, the president emphasized the vast improvement in efficiency that would be achieved through his proposal, claiming that residents of population centers such as Miami, Seattle, and Detroit would soon have ready access to 1,500 miles of dedicated high-speed rail tracks via a short drive to their nearest airport and a series of connecting flights and layovers.

Administration officials stressed that, after their transoceanic journey, Americans would be able to avoid the hassles of driving by “sitting back and relaxing” on a bullet train as they crossed the countryside at speeds of up to 200 miles per hour, passing through both major cities and smaller, rural prefectures on the Tōkaidō line and seven other reliable, congestion-free rail routes. Additionally, White House officials noted that passengers would be able to travel between Tokyo and Osaka in just two and a half hours, following their 10 or more hours of plane travel.

Sources confirmed that the new system would also be far more environmentally sound than current transportation methods, as Americans would no longer have to depend on fuel-intensive, smog-producing automobiles or buses and could instead travel across the landscape of a different continent in comfort aboard the rail system’s fully electric and “whisper-quiet” train cars.

“Imagine stretching out in a spacious berth in a sleek, 16-car Hikari train following a quick red-eye from O’Hare, LAX, or LaGuardia,” Secretary of Transportation Anthony Foxx told reporters, noting that travelers will have the option of either purchasing individual tickets for the kakueki teisha trains or acquiring a 21-day unlimited pass for approximately 60,000 yen. “Any American citizen who wants to experience the ease of high-speed rail travel, and who has an up-to-date passport and an English-Japanese phrase book, will be able to fly straight to Japan to do so.”

Thousands of commuters confirmed that they have already booked their overseas plane tickets in order to take advantage of punctual, frequent rail service between major Japanese cities, hailing the new system as a welcome alternative to the stress and waste of existing U.S. transportation methods.

“Around here, we don’t have that many dependable mass transit choices, so I’m excited about trying out these new trains once I can get a few days off from work and take a flight over,” said Cincinnati resident Christopher Thomas. “Now, there’s nothing stopping me from packing a suitcase, hopping on a 747, and, after filling out and submitting an official declaration form upon arrival, taking a train absolutely anywhere I want within the country.”

“It’s great,” he added. “I’m just glad the U.S. finally decided to invest in our future and make high-speed rail travel a reality.”
 
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How to FLY !?

The Onions is a comedy satire site. The article is making fun of Obama and the public transport and old rail system of the US.

It say, the rail way system of the US is old and outdated compared to other developed country. So to solve this problem, Obama plan to fly Americans, on planes, to Japan so that Americans can have access to modern Rail system over there. Therefore, Americans will then have access to modern rail system just like any other advanced country.
 
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He was so desperate to lick his boot master Japan to showboat the beautiful JP- US marriage that he forgot what kind of source he posting. Funny little Viet. LOLOLOL
 
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I got so..... confuse. I cannot understand.
 
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Lol. Thats what you get from spaming dumb posts everywhere without using your brain.
 
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Onion is the most reliable news site.

I recommend everyone here to learn from it.

As the most favorite, most respectable and smartest member here, Kolaps learned a lot from it.

:bounce::agree:
 
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Onion is the most reliable news site.

I recommend everyone here to learn from it.

As the most favorite, most respectable and smartest member here, Kolaps learned a lot from it.

:bounce::agree:
:rofl::rofl::rofl: Nice Work :tup:
 
. . .
Another informative report from The Onion:


Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

WASHINGTON—Following a comprehensive two-year linguistic survey, a report published Wednesday in the academic journal Languagerevealed revealed that 58 percent of Japanese speakers worldwide are 23-year-old white men from the United States. “Our findings indicate that a majority of individuals who can fluently speak and comprehend Japanese are actually Caucasian post-collegiate American males, many of whom order in Japanese at sushi restaurants and were one of the few white members of their universities’ Japanese clubs,” read the report in part, which noted that American-born 23-year-old men who taught English for a year in Kobe or Sapporo after graduation currently outnumber all other speakers of the Japanese language, including the entire population of the East Asian island nation and its millions of emigrants living throughout the world. “Though the Japanese dialect was spoken almost exclusively by individuals of Japanese origin until the mid-18th century, it is now largely a vernacular utilized by young white men who decorate their apartments with traditional Japanese prints and are devoted fans of manga artist Hayao Miyazaki. In fact, if present trends continue, we predict that within several decades the Japanese language will be spoken almost exclusively by fair-skinned twentysomething U.S. citizens who regularly purchase packaged seaweed snacks from small Asian markets and watch Akira Kurosawa films several times per month.” The report further confirmed that virtually 100 percent of this demographic is either currently dating or recently broke up with a woman named Miku.

@BoQ77 please make a new thread about this report.
 
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Ambitious New High-Speed Rail Plan Will Fly Americans To Japan To Use Their Trains
NewsScience & Technologytraveltechnologypublic transportation ISSUE 50•40 • Oct 10, 2014

View attachment 125014
Obama says his high-speed rail plan will allow U.S. citizens to travel virtually anywhere in Japan safely, dependably, and efficiently.

WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring the United States’ transportation network “into the 21st century,” President Barack Obama unveiled an ambitious new high-speed rail plan Friday that will fly Americans to Japan in order to use the island nation’s extensive, state-of-the-art train system.

According to the president, the $80 billion initiative will subsidize airline tickets between the U.S. and several major Japanese cities, allowing the American people to enjoy all the benefits of a modernized network of high-speed trains as soon as their international flights touch down in the East Asian country.

“After years of lagging behind other industrialized nations, this new plan at last provides our citizens with a cutting-edge passenger train network that will rival the world’s most advanced transit systems,” said Obama at a morning press conference, touting Japan’s fast, safe, and comfortable Shinkansen rail network as a vital upgrade to the U.S.’s outdated Amtrak service. “Under this new plan, all Americans will be able to travel quickly and reliably between hundreds of destinations by simply taking a trans-Pacific flight across nine time zones and then boarding one of dozens of lightning-fast, ultramodern trains.”

“The transit system that the U.S. has needed for so long is now just a 7,000-mile plane journey to Tokyo’s Narita International Airport and a brief passage through Japanese customs away,” Obama continued.

In his speech, the president emphasized the vast improvement in efficiency that would be achieved through his proposal, claiming that residents of population centers such as Miami, Seattle, and Detroit would soon have ready access to 1,500 miles of dedicated high-speed rail tracks via a short drive to their nearest airport and a series of connecting flights and layovers.

Administration officials stressed that, after their transoceanic journey, Americans would be able to avoid the hassles of driving by “sitting back and relaxing” on a bullet train as they crossed the countryside at speeds of up to 200 miles per hour, passing through both major cities and smaller, rural prefectures on the Tōkaidō line and seven other reliable, congestion-free rail routes. Additionally, White House officials noted that passengers would be able to travel between Tokyo and Osaka in just two and a half hours, following their 10 or more hours of plane travel.

Sources confirmed that the new system would also be far more environmentally sound than current transportation methods, as Americans would no longer have to depend on fuel-intensive, smog-producing automobiles or buses and could instead travel across the landscape of a different continent in comfort aboard the rail system’s fully electric and “whisper-quiet” train cars.

“Imagine stretching out in a spacious berth in a sleek, 16-car Hikari train following a quick red-eye from O’Hare, LAX, or LaGuardia,” Secretary of Transportation Anthony Foxx told reporters, noting that travelers will have the option of either purchasing individual tickets for the kakueki teisha trains or acquiring a 21-day unlimited pass for approximately 60,000 yen. “Any American citizen who wants to experience the ease of high-speed rail travel, and who has an up-to-date passport and an English-Japanese phrase book, will be able to fly straight to Japan to do so.”

Thousands of commuters confirmed that they have already booked their overseas plane tickets in order to take advantage of punctual, frequent rail service between major Japanese cities, hailing the new system as a welcome alternative to the stress and waste of existing U.S. transportation methods.

“Around here, we don’t have that many dependable mass transit choices, so I’m excited about trying out these new trains once I can get a few days off from work and take a flight over,” said Cincinnati resident Christopher Thomas. “Now, there’s nothing stopping me from packing a suitcase, hopping on a 747, and, after filling out and submitting an official declaration form upon arrival, taking a train absolutely anywhere I want within the country.”

“It’s great,” he added. “I’m just glad the U.S. finally decided to invest in our future and make high-speed rail travel a reality.”

Bro, this is from the Onion. lol.

:devil:

lmao citing The Onion.

ha ha ha! maybe he was trying to be fair and unbiased ?

:p:

He was so desperate to lick his boot master Japan to showboat the beautiful JP- US marriage that he forgot what kind of source he posting. Funny little Viet. LOLOLOL

Master Japan? Seriously, dude ?
 
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