Your age, profession, and marital status?

[Ocean]

Or may be, just may be, some girls are simply not that shallow to care about looks but financial security and honesty?

See, first you have your definition of handsomeness, then you expect others to follow that definition, and if somebody doesn't, you freely express your judgement in form of an opinion. It does not work that way. People are free to get attracted to whoever they like, just like you are.

Some girls wouldnt be shallow only if they will get to have enough say in picking grooms.

And theres nothing shallow in wanting a good looking spouse but when a guy or a girl demands it they shud also do it if they look that great. Almost every pakistani guy or his mothers wants a pretty wife or dil regardless of how he looks but when it comes to women then it suddenly becomes shallow. I am talking abt our middle class which makes up major part of pakistan.

And lastly i really dont get ur whole argument he is chubby etc etc. the guy is borderline morbidly obese and extremely unhealthy and govs worldover are trying to control it and in paksitan number of over weight people has really increased in past years causing a rise in diabetes and heart diseases. I dont know how am i not supposed to call that unhealthy? and i cant sugar coat it as "chubby" and lastly yeah she might or might not be attracted to him but i felt couple is msimatched and ishared my thought.

LOL...

Little girls dream like that about charming Prince and then they grow up and realise the reality of life. And that reality is shown in Markhoor's pic. The sooner they realise, the better it is.

So if i say the guy is less good looking than girl u call me judgy but its okay when u can make such references about his looks?

How so fair of u

It is always best to look for balance in any relationship, if the scales tip too much from equilibrium then potential for mishap always exists, parents should always bear this in mind.Kudos bhai

Yeah its like a craze, i am the sort of person icud end up reminding ppl of their sons and daughters looks and financial status if they pretend to be so choosy that oh we want pretty gals or handsome tall dudes with fat wallets or working daughter in law

But mostly i have seen women doing this for ugliest looking sons looking for a doctor bahu with great looks. i have been a reader of other Pakistani fb pages too and i recall there was a woman who used to post there and i had seen her picture and if her brother has same looks as hr then i would not rate him v high on looks. So someone shared some pretty model i think iman alis pic and she went like OH MY GAWDDDD shes so pretty i want same looks bride for my brother. I was like okay so if you want looks how abt confirm ur brothers looks too ,if looks are the sole criteria to look for partners. Didnt say that to her she was a page mod something there iwud have gotten banned.

 

[Indus Pakistan]

Yes i know at first it came as a huge shock cause no one expected an 18 yr old taking her life that and recently married,

The pain this young girl must have gone through bears no thinking. As a parent you want the best for your child - boy or female. Equal measure to both. The problem is how do apply this in real life. It is not easy. There are two opposite poles.

One. Young people choose what they want. I see this the norm within UK and increasingly the rage with British-Paks. The problem with this the young are impulsive, innocent and many are also liable to fall to 'love mercents' who offer everything but intend to offer nothing but a pregnancy and problems. The nature of young and love is it does not look at the more sober realities of life . Although I am believer in equality but too often it is the female who is left all alone with no income and a baby to bring up. That is recipe for all sort of social problems. Also all too often the "quick in means quick out" of marriages. This ends up marriage being reduced. For this reason parents can temper the process by providing the long term advice and take a holistic view.

• Two. Parents can all too often use their power over their child to effectively pawn them off involving the young person going through incredible trauma and suffering. When young people have zero say the situation can lead to abuse and as destructive as [one].
• 
  
• Therefore ideally a compromise of both is best. The young person views should carry weighting but be tempered with parents advice. I know in real life this is not easy but building a good, open relationship that nurtures respect will work best as their is trust cultivated which works both ways. The youngster should know what type of choice will hurt their parent and the parent knows what sort of choice the young person prefers. I guess it all boils on what relation you nurture with your child.

If my young girls made a choice that was unaceptable to me they would know they would be effectivel;y burning me on the stake. And I trust and have invested my love in them that they never would do that. On the contrary I am not going to get a uncouth idiot and use my parental monopoly on them. Again these are very complicated and difficult things. This also applies to my boys. This is human nature your dealing with. Exactly how things chart is is always going to be hit/miss.

 

[newb3e]

Nahi sab se prince bilawal shaadi krlega. Sabki qismat ban jaegi. Aap fikar na kren

wow you are homophobic! i am 100% sure you know that bilawal is madly in love with Zulfiqar junior and they planning to marry after billo billo becomes PM of Pakistan.

 

[Indus Pakistan]

Just for the record a non Muslim is off my list. My own ethnic group preferred to maintain continuity, although I am open to some other ethnic groups depending on the merits of the case. However some ethnic groups are absolutely'verboten' and would be only acceptable over my dead body. My offspring know from context my views.

 

[Valar.]

Some girls wouldnt be shallow only if they will get to have enough say in picking grooms.

And theres nothing shallow in wanting a good looking spouse but when a guy or a girl demands it they shud also do it if they look that great. Almost every pakistani guy or his mothers wants a pretty wife or dil regardless of how he looks but when it comes to women then it suddenly becomes shallow. I am talking abt our middle class which makes up major part of pakistan.

And lastly i really dont get ur whole argument he is chubby etc etc. the guy is borderline morbidly obese and extremely unhealthy and govs worldover are trying to control it and in paksitan number of over weight people has really increased in past years causing a rise in diabetes and heart diseases. I dont know how am i not supposed to call that unhealthy? and i cant sugar coat it as "chubby" and lastly yeah she might or might not be attracted to him but i felt couple is msimatched and ishared my thought.




So if i say the guy is less good looking than girl u call me judgy but its okay when u can make such references about his looks?

How so fair of u

Don't judge a couple by saying girl was forced to marry or the Less good looking guy doesn't deserve a girl like her or she doesn't deserve a guy like him. That is judgemental which desi aunties usually do.

Me saying that little girls shouldn't dream about Prince charming in shining armour is different than you flat out judging a newly Wed couple by calling poor groom ad Jin, elephant and what not and accusing that the girl was forced to marry him. Learn the difference.

 

[Indus Pakistan]

That is judgemental which desi aunties usually do.

No. Looks play even more potent role in the west then in Pakistan. And why not say 'Pakistan' for freakin out loud as opposed to using the synonym 'desi'. Is Pakistan dirty name? a nation is a abstraction and if you don't use that abstraction it will never take root.

I would however not dismiss looks. What we call 'look's is the human eyes sizing of the health of a person/genes. So unless people are not bothered about the downward progression of your physical line looks do play a role - so does IQ..

 

[El Sidd]

wow you are homophobic! i am 100% sure you know that bilawal is madly in love with Zulfiqar junior and they planning to marry after billo billo becomes PM of Pakistan.

Lol sudhar jao hero

 

[Valar.]

No. Looks play even more potent role in the west then in Pakistan. And why not say 'Pakistan' for freakin out loud as opposed to using the synonym 'desi'. Is Pakistan dirty name? a nation is a abstraction and if you don't use that abstraction it will never take root.

I would however not dismiss looks. What we call 'look's is the human eyes sizing of the health of a person/genes. So unless people are not bothered about the downward progression of your physical line looks do play a role - so does IQ..

For dirty judgemental gossiping aunties, desi is the right name. After all, not all Pakistani aunties are bad, some are and they are desi.

Agreed about looks. Problem is, who defines good looks? And, who are we to tell others what they should or shouldn't find attractive based on our definition of good looks?

 

[Well.wisher]

PDF at its best!!!!

And @Valar. my friend 1 pack a day has messed your brain...you are actually arguing with someone who wants a freaking prince with big fat pocket but with slim tummy! Good job mate!

Excuse me ..
Today you dream .. so tomorrow u accomplish your dream .

LOL...

Little girls dream like that about charming Prince and then they grow up and realise the reality of life. And that reality is shown in Markhoor's pic. The sooner they realise, the better it is.

I'm not a little girl or neither am dreaming something silly.. These are just the foremost qualities I will look for in my future partner .
About markhors pic ... lol it doesn't fit on me . Q k first bat mere sare cousins married hain .. sirf ek khala k bete .. nd he's like hrithik roshan by fc , good looking but doesn't fit my qualities of being kind, humble nd that inner heart qualities ... nd anyway , he's in someone else ... . So obviously I always look out of family .. Q k I'm going to marry outside .. I don't believe on traditions at all .

 

[Valar.]

Excuse me ..
Today you dream .. so tomorrow u accomplish your dream .


I'm not a little girl or neither am dreaming something silly.. These are just the foremost qualities I will look for in my future partner .
About markhors pic ... lol it doesn't fit on me . Q k first bat mere sare cousins married hain .. sirf ek khala k bete .. nd he's like hrithik roshan by fc , good looking but doesn't fit my qualities of being kind, humble nd that inner heart qualities ... nd anyway , he's in someone else ... . So obviously I always look out of family .. Q k I'm going to marry outside .. I don't believe on traditions at all .

Forget it kiddo. Just tell me how's my new avatar?

 

[Well.wisher]

Forget it kiddo. Just tell me how's my new avatar?

Brain explodes ..
That's great ..

 

[Ocean]

Don't judge a couple by saying girl was forced to marry or the Less good looking guy doesn't deserve a girl like her or she doesn't deserve a guy like him. That is judgemental which desi aunties usually do.

Me saying that little girls shouldn't dream about Prince charming in shining armour is different than you flat out judging a newly Wed couple by calling poor groom ad Jin, elephant and what not and accusing that the girl was forced to marry him. Learn the difference.

Desi auntie or not i could care less what u think of me or not. I will form opinions all i want, u got problems ur issue i cudnt be bothered by it.

And even tho i am in no way bound to explain stuff but iwill still add this. Instead of going around preaching others of "learning the difference" etc etc learn to read content carefully.

Nowhere i called the groom in the picture as elephant and jinn ka bacha. And neither i accused this girl of being forcefully married to him. I wrote it in my posts on prev page they both seem to hail from well off backgrounds so it is likely a consentual marriage not a forced one.

As of forced marriages and haathi kay size kay grooms ,jo kay waqai may hotay hain ,then that was a discussion abt trends prevalent in pakistani society. Agar apna beta badsurat bhensa hai tau us kay leeay khubsurat larki ki demands bhi nahi rakhni chaheeain.

Also it's best u drop ur hypocrisy, on one hand u say the guy is chubby whilst he is clearly overweight, then u try lecturing others that being good looking is a personal definition so one shudnt say the groom in that picture isnt handsome then on the other hand u urself go ahead and give that grooms example stating "Girls dream of handsome princes and what they get is the guy in that pic" to imply he is not that great looking person.

So please work on ur contradictory and hypocritical statements rather thna worrying abt others opinions.

If i sound judgemental than thats others issue not mine.

 

[Valar.]

Desi auntie or not i could care less what u think of me or not. I will form opinions all i want, u got problems ur issue i cudnt be bothered by it.

And even tho i am in no way bound to explain stuff but iwill still add this. Instead of going around preaching others of "learning the difference" etc etc learn to read content carefully.

Nowhere i called the groom in the picture as elephant and jinn ka bacha. And neither i accused this girl of being forcefully married to him. I wrote it in my posts on prev page they both seem to hail from well off backgrounds so it is likely a consentual marriage not a forced one.

As of forced marriages and haathi kay size kay grooms ,jo kay waqai may hotay hain ,then that was a discussion abt trends prevalent in pakistani society. Agar apna beta badsurat bhensa hai tau us kay leeay khubsurat larki ki demands bhi nahi rakhni chaheeain.

Also it's best u drop ur hypocrisy, on one hand u say the guy is chubby whilst he is clearly overweight, then u try lecturing others that being good looking is a personal definition so one shudnt say the groom in that picture isnt handsome then on the other hand u urself go ahead and give that grooms example stating "Girls dream of handsome princes and what they get is the guy in that pic" to imply he is not that great looking person.

So please work on ur contradictory and hypocritical statements rather thna worrying abt others opinions.

If i sound judgemental than thats others issue not mine.

Let me summarize my points:
- You have a right to define beauty but don't expect others to follow it.
- Make fun of skinny or chubby based on your own personal preference but don't judge a couple where some chubby marries a skinny whether boy or a girl.
- Do not indirectly imply that so called 'odd' marriages might be arranged or forced.
- Asking a little girl or guy to lower the expectation by not dreaming about prince/princess, does not imply that I look down upon average people.

As for mothers searching for pretty daughter in laws, well, you already know my views how much I promote dating and finding your own partner instead of relying on mothers or auntie's.

Lastly, don't act like Desi auntie's by judging every couple whether odd or not. Here we trying to get rid of auntie's and there you have young guys acting like them.

 

[Ocean]

Let me summarize my points:
- You have a right to define beauty but don't expect others to follow it.

I have a right to define beauty (whatever the hell that means tho) and i have the right to express it too. If someone has issues he better seek help from a psychiatrist.

- Make fun of skinny or chubby based on your own personal preference but don't judge a couple where some chubby marries a skinny whether boy or a girl.

I didnt make fun of any chubby and skinny. Yea i found the couple msimatched and beyond that i didnt comment on this guys appearance. I dont even know when will u learn to read posts correctly. As of generally speaking of obese grooms i didnt mention anyones name nor i showed a pic, calling haathi etc was a general reference and was SPECIFICALLY for those people who despite all these flaws search for super slim pretty partners.

- Do not indirectly imply that so called 'odd' marriages might be arranged or forced.

Again whether i directly or indirectly imply a marriage is forced or arranged is my right to opinion. And again i didnt refer to this guys marriage as forced etc. rest i was discussing abt prevailing norms in pakistani society.
And these are pakistani REAL social isssues if u out of ur certain personal fear of something refuse to discuss them then dont expect others wont either. We will.

.- Asking a little girl or guy to lower the expectation by not dreaming about prince/princess, does not imply that I look down upon average people.

Again hypocrisy firstly who are u to "lecture" others to lower or not lower their expectations given ur own logic that one shudnt judge etc etc? Its not that their choices impact ur life. Similarly u have issues with me having an opinion. Your issue is that u cant take people having their opinions which is entirely ur problem.

And no , no amount of sugar coating your previous statements will change your hypocirsy , you had issues with girls setting hi looks expectations and to point out u used that guys looks as example yet you are lecturing others over forming opinions on looks.

And i never looked down on anyone. I think you have comprehension issues. Yes i mocked people who despite very avg looks demand beautiful partners and we meet such ppl like all the time.

Lastly, don't act like Desi auntie's by judging every couple whether odd or not. Here we trying to get rid of auntie's and there you have young guys acting like them.

Oh ididnt know i "judge" every couple ,seems like this genius has an ability to cook up stuff too. And what are desi aunties? Those who create fights and conflicts amongst families that lead to divorces. Having opinions on looks and couples happens everywhere in every desi aunty non desi aunty group.

Lastly, i will hold all the opinions i want and if u call that "judge" then fine i will judge all that iwant ,anyone having issues is not my headache. And they can save these hypocritical lectures for their relatives. Focus on ur own life then worrying abt others personal opinions.

 

[Valar.]

Alrighty mate, I give up. We should all follow your advise and definitions which are:
- Slim is beautiful
- Chubby is Ugly
- If a chubby marries a slim then it's the right of every tom, dck n Harry to call it mismatched and odd couple which is most likely due to forced marriage because personal preference don't exist, personality doesn't matter, n nobody gives a damn about education and mental compatibility.
- Auntie's and mothers shouldn't look for beautiful girls because their sons are ugly. Now who defined ugliness? Well, it's none other than Mr. Ocean.
- Little girls should keep on dreaming about Disney Land princes and try to find them in real life especially in country like Pak.

Last but not least, when ocean discusses something, it's social issues. And he's always right in his judgement, sorry, opinion sharing. If somebody doesn't agrees with him, he should seek mental help.

Got it bro. Off I go to seek mental help.