Everything I did in my life started with your name. No matter the situation I never lost my faith and hope in you. I prayed to you. Never bribed anyone while it was common in my practice. I fed the poor and the needy in your name.
Have never been scared of anyone except you. When the whole world was scared of Corona I was roaming around in public knowing you would protect me. I fought against 3 countries while traveling that wearing a mask is against my religion and only you are my protector. I keep repenting to you no matter what. I fought against my own people to uphold your laws. I read your book the Quran many times. I was good to my parents, siblings, and relatives. I helped out alot of people in your name. I stood up against oppression and didn't differentiate between your people. I even stood tall infront of bullets to go against injustices being done to a women. While my whole village believes they need a waseela to reach you I went to you directly. There are many more things where I kept you as the first priority.
But you took away from me everything in an instant. Why do you do that to your believers. Why do you make this world hell for those who are sincere to you while you give leeway to those who are corrupt, liars and thieves.
I was a man of another magnitude but you have made a mockery of me. You left me neither for this world or the afterlife.
You say you're going to question me on judgement day but I have alot of questions for you as well. You will have to answer them.
I don't know if you are punishing me or putting me through trials. If you are punishing me then I ask for your forgiveness. If you are putting me through a trial, I won't lose my faith in you no matter how bad it gets for me.
You have even outlawed killing myself otherwise I would've done it already. The state isn't waging war on the enemy otherwise I would give my life that way. The state has made it hard for me to reach certain places where I could get killed.
If you dont fix me im gonna have to kms i cant live like this. Hell cant be any worse than what i experience now.