I was walking the other day in the office car park. So i decided to stand in shade since its getting warm in Sydney. In fact Australian weather likes to play hide and seek, so it can go warm to cloudy to rain, so there is always a surprise for you.
Now im standing, minding my own business, not lost in thoughts since I am very observant of my surroundings and I dont let my mind wander off to day dreaming or planning something or thinking about past or whatever. I keep my mind in the moment. So this is all in good humor, take it as such, since I had an encounter with an Indian very soon.
Ab yeh jo Indians hotay hain na, well we all know how indians are so lets not go there
Now this indian guy walks up to me, looks like a cleaning supervisor. I am not holding anything in my hands, im just standing and I knew all the timings and read all notices and seen all signs so basically I wasnt doing anything wrong as far as i knew.
Now he walks up to me. I look from my peripherals but dont turn towards him. I am generally a friendly guy and I can easily start conversations and even fish for information from strangers sometimes. Depends what I need there and then. Anyways. he comes and asks me,
" Where do you work at " ?
Now , I can give a simple reply, this or that place or office, but the question did took me by surprise. Now I know how to handle Indians, I know their complexes and stuff, I even know how to irritate them in good humor or even sarcasm, I mean i can make really frustrate them to their core, if need be. Though I am very humble and Im very friendly. I think one has to be, you never know kab kis se favor leni par jaye, information leni par jaye, ya phir to even make connections, but I do it out of humble nature too. Attitude ya Arrogance bhi chalti hay but its rarely required.
I replied, with a smile, genuine smile, I mean the wrinkles around the eyes even showed up i guess,
" Why do you want to know" ?
Ab, I knew either he will go in the usual self esteem complex, or he will get defensive. And my first guess was right, he dived into self esteem wala complex. Now if you reply that to a gora, which I have done so many times, i knew that gora is asking me for a reason and he will tell me the reason with a joke or give some information or tell me if im doing something inappropriate. Indian ki to bas pack ho gayi. The colours of his face started to change, while my smile didnt go away. Ab Australia hay, fake smile ka mulk hay, har koi fake smile kar k baat karta hay. Where as for a few seconds, yes, my smile was genuine, to tu dil pe na le na bhai.
Ok lets say if i was at place of that Indian guy, and i approach a gora and ask him, where do you work at and he replies, why do you wana know. I will still try to get the information through small talk or looking like I need help, though I may not need help. So my reply could be, I was asking because I think i saw you in XYZ office, but I am not sure, Im just guessing and I had to meet an admin person there but I came out. He would obviously say, NO I dont work there. Then I would say, Yes, must be a misunderstanding, but you see I need to deliver ABC and have a meeting, I feel Im lost, do you work on 4th floor. He would say, No I work on 3rd floor. So i get first bit of information that he works on 3rd floor. Now I can stop here, but lets say I want to know exactly where he works. So I would say, Hows the coffee at your place, I heard XYZ company is at 3rd floor and their coffee sucks. He could tell now, Our coffee is good, I work in this office. Or he could not divulge exact information that im looking for but I keep trying in different methods. There are hard nuts to crack too. It could turn either way.
Gora baton se hi chalata hay na sab ko, Kaam to Indian pakistan Korean becharay hi kartay hain
Ok Kabhi kabhi Gora bhi reports email kar deta hay, but the point is that they are masters of small talk and jokes. Australia mein to batain hi batain, chup hi nai hotay. And desi log to wesay hi time waste k mahir hain. Coffee machine pe hansss haanss ka 20 minutepepooray din k hansnay ka quota poora kar detay hain
Ok sorry, coming back to Indian guy. Now he thought this humble looking guy must be a new immigrant, bechara, mein zara iss pe apni post ka roub jama loon, but he wasnt expecting this reply. plus meine moun terha kar k, poora jabra oper neechay kar k aussie accent mein reply de diya, aur haan smile bhi rakha.
He said,
"OKay, you dont want to tell me where you work".
Ab meine aisa to kuch nai kaha tha, mein hansi control karnay lag gaya. Smile phir se genuine ho gaya mera
I replied,
"Its a beautiful sunny day, how's your day going?"
Ab har desi ka yeh farz hay k jab aap uss se how are you, how is your day etc poochen gay, woh zaruri reply karay ga. Importance bhi mil jaati hay.
He smiles a bit and said,
"My day is good. Hard work. So you dont want to tell me where you are working".
Meine socha k smile to le aya hoon iss k face pe, aur lapaton ya phir iss ki damaged self esteem pe bandage rakhon. So being modest and humble, I though its better to repair his self esteem. Acha, agar kisi ko khush bhi karna hay na, to help maang lo, uss ki ego ko thand parr jaati hay, like this guy needs me.
I said,
" I work in such and such place, I had this tissue and wanted to throw it, I cant find a bin"
Ab woh jo bin hay, uss ki story yeh hay, there are 3 bins in car park, yes i counted, I am observant like i said.
Woh Indian itna khush hua, I could see all his 28 or 32 teeth, I really didnt count 28 ya 32 hain, I was happy to see I satisfied a part of his esteem.
He said,
" Oh you dont know, How long have you been working here"?
Haan G, point maar mujh pe, ab meine teri ego jo satisfy kar di. Mujhe to yahan k bin ka bhi nai pata, Im such a dork, Thank God you arrived as cavalry to save my day. Honestly, I keep a tissue or two always, in pocket and now i had to let go off an unused tissue so God doesnt hold me on judgement day for bring different colors on an Indian's face.
I said,
"Mate, been looking for bin, you know any around here"
He said in a winning manner, the chest had started to come out, swelled up from 28 or so ? to maybe 41 I think.
He said,
"There is a bin if you look behind on your right".
I was like, Thank God, bhai to aaj na hota to pata nai mein iss tissue se kesay peecha chorata.
Then he continued,
" You Give it to my guy I will call my guy to dispose it off".
See, now I was getting VIP treatment. Indian ko jis pasay bhi mor do, shugal hay. The reins are in your hands literally.
He called another Indian guy, much thinner, I handed him the tissue. It was clean so no guilt on my conscience. I could have thrown it myself but now it was time to become friends with the Indian cleaning supervisor and extract building gossip and floor gossip from him so I decided to take a walk with him back to the building and keep talking (extracting info) on the way.
No, he didnt tell me what Julia or Natasha do, but he did give me some specific information on corporate people/bosses lunch timings, so I knew when to be at which cafe to grab hold of someone when i needed to and thus i knew what they like to eat and with whom.
... Maybe I have a likable character and face.. idk ..
