Great satire in Dawn today.
Dream-fuelled Kit
From time immemorial people were converting
water into wine, but we have converted it into fuel, because of our belief in the betterment of all mankind. Ground breaking contribution of Aqua Waqar Al-Kindi-wal-YouTube to the world of science would be greater than Dr. Abdus Salam. He shall be awarded Nobel laureate award for correcting the laws of
thermodynamics that were standing on its head for two centuries. After all these scientific laws are not divine laws but merely man-made laws and can be broken anytime. Thermodynamics is the enemy of mankind, and was an obstacle to break the shackles of slavery of Western imperialism.
At last, a knight in shining armour from Khairpur slayed the dragon of Thermodynamics. The Aqua kit has not only demolished the western secular science but is going to liberate all mankind from the exploitation of the Western Hegemony. If Karl Marx was alive today he would have written Das Aqua kit instead of Das Capital.
The Mashaikh-ul-Science, great nuclear scientist and Urdu columnist
Dr. Abdul Jabir bin Hayan and Dr Fruit Congratulations mand have blessed the Aqua kit. Their ruling in support of Aqua-fuel kit was an arrow pierced into the hearts of unpatroitic scums who are prostrated before the false idol of western science. It was their untiring effort of photocopying skills and spreading the Halal science (according to the palette of our masses) on media that have prepared the ground for scientific revolution in Pakistan. The nation should pay back these Mashaikh-ul-science by making them president, and Prime Minister as Indians have done years ago. These three have turned Pakistan into Aqua-con valley and Khairpur would be next Bangalore.
Not only Al Kindi-wal-youtube demolished the laws of themodynamics, but our media has also demolished the concept of idiot-box. Now the ratings-fuelled channels are being used as laboratories of science. TV studios have turned into Kon Research Laboratories, and research (google) papers are being aired to spread the light of halal scientific knowledge. All TV channels have totally converted their generators from gasoline to Aqua Kit.
Its time that we must stand united and repose our belief in our own homegrown talent. It is our national duty to believe in Aqua kit. We must also believe that corruption can be eliminated in 19 days. We shall strengthen our belief in media that is the source of providing information and awareness to the people. Media is going to liberate our nation from the chains of colonial science.
Dr. Jabir bin Hayanhas said that all great scientists and achievers like Einstein, Steve jobs, Bill Gates were all school drop outs. By the grace of God, we have the highest school dropoutrate in the world. This great pool of dropouts is producing scientists, like Aqua Waqar-Al-Kindi, and IT specialist like Steve Arsalan. His meteoric 900 million IT industry is proof of our robust economy. Its the inefficient government that cant run this countrys economy that is going on snails pace of 2 per cent. Steve Arsalan has also demolished the Babus economy and proved that the actual economic growth of Pakistan can be pushed to 300 per cent.
Dr. Fruit congratulationsmand and Dr. Abdul Jabr bin Hayanare now ready to work under Dr Aqua Waqar al-kindiwal YouTube for self-enrichment..er..sorry
uranium enrichment with Aqua kit. They are now developing factories in Malaysia, Srilanka and head office in Dubai. The next step would be to build a Bin Qasim, Ghaznavi, Alp Arsalan and Zawahiri missiles powered by aqua kit. Hydrogen converted into helium from one glass of water can make a missile cover 3ooo km.
Some armchair professors who have not invented anything are calling them
crackpots. Oye! They are our Jackpots. We would be saving
14 billion dollar annually from oil imports. Imagine the export and construction of the Water kit. The western imperialists would be out to kill him to rob us of victory that we achieved working so hard on Google. Government shall provide him all resources and funds to realise the dream of dominating the world. Protecting Dr. al-Kindi should be the first priority of this government.
Lastly, now since we have solved all problems facing Pakistan, my request to Aqua Waqas Al-kindi-wal-YouTube is that he should develop an Aqua-fuel-led telescope that could end the yearly fights on the sighting of moon on Eid-ul-Azha in Pakistan.
The author left architecture for painting but ended up as a cartoonist and now writes Hijjo. He is the jack of all trades.
Dream-fuelled Kit | DAWN.COM
